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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 127
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Hi all;
I've been away from SR for what seems to be an eternity and realized that I really need the support and help this group has to offer. It's been a really rough few months. My younger brother drowned while we were on a family vacation together in June, and life hasn't been the same since. We were there when it happened, saw everything go down on the beach - the EMT, the attempts to revive him - then the two days in the hospital where he was kept "alive" via breathing tubes and meds. My parents, youngest brother and I ultimately decided to end the life support - he was effectively brain dead - and he passed away in 5 minutes. The whole episode has left me an entirely different person. I've never been that close to death, and someone so close to me. Unfortunately, it also lured me back into drinking where I find myself now. Back in the same damn hole I was in 2 years ago before treatment and 14 months of soberiety. I keep trying to crawl my way out, but it's so hard this time. My motivation just isn't there like it was the first time. I'm going to give it another go, try and rededicate myself to staying sober, and will be on here a lot in the coming weeks/months.
My 14 year old son said something so wise to me after my brother's death. "Dad, use Uncle Steve's death to restart your own life." If that can't give me the motivation I need to change, what can?
I've been away from SR for what seems to be an eternity and realized that I really need the support and help this group has to offer. It's been a really rough few months. My younger brother drowned while we were on a family vacation together in June, and life hasn't been the same since. We were there when it happened, saw everything go down on the beach - the EMT, the attempts to revive him - then the two days in the hospital where he was kept "alive" via breathing tubes and meds. My parents, youngest brother and I ultimately decided to end the life support - he was effectively brain dead - and he passed away in 5 minutes. The whole episode has left me an entirely different person. I've never been that close to death, and someone so close to me. Unfortunately, it also lured me back into drinking where I find myself now. Back in the same damn hole I was in 2 years ago before treatment and 14 months of soberiety. I keep trying to crawl my way out, but it's so hard this time. My motivation just isn't there like it was the first time. I'm going to give it another go, try and rededicate myself to staying sober, and will be on here a lot in the coming weeks/months.
My 14 year old son said something so wise to me after my brother's death. "Dad, use Uncle Steve's death to restart your own life." If that can't give me the motivation I need to change, what can?
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 1,305
Welcome back. I'm so sorry for your loss. That is a truly horrific story, and I could see how it could be used to justify drinking if you allowed it. Good for you for coming back here and posting. We are definitely here for you.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,351
I'm so sorry for your loss Shoebox.
Thats so sudden and tragic, and in the most horrific way.
You son is a very smart lad - and he has a smart and capable dad who whipped this beast before and can again.
Do this in honour of your brother and for yourself and those who love you.
D
Thats so sudden and tragic, and in the most horrific way.
You son is a very smart lad - and he has a smart and capable dad who whipped this beast before and can again.
Do this in honour of your brother and for yourself and those who love you.
D
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