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Old 10-07-2014, 05:11 PM
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Hello all

I am Oephaelia, the sister of an active heroin and crack cocaine user. This weekend, after a period of sobriety, he stole my credit card, emptied out my bank account, and wrecked my car. I am devastated. He was living with me but since the events he has gone missing. I'm terrified for him and fear there is no hope. We are very close so I also miss him very much. And he won't speak to me. Help!!!!!
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Old 10-07-2014, 08:36 PM
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Hello and welcome!

I am sorry you are dealing with this. It must be incredibly difficult. Please stick around SR, read lots and post as much as you want. There is lots of support here!
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Old 10-07-2014, 09:00 PM
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Hi and welcome Oephaelia

I'm sorry for your situation - that must be very rough. I'm not sure there's much you can do until your brother decides to contact you - apart from maybe cancelling your credit card - but there's a ton of support here, and in our Family and Friends forums too.

Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Old 10-07-2014, 09:07 PM
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Hi Oephaelia, welcome to our forum.

So sorry for what you're going through. There are a lot of people here with similar experiences, read some posts, keep posting.
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Old 10-07-2014, 09:18 PM
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Oephaelia what are you going to do with no money and no car? Please protect yourself. You're providing him with a means to carry on with his addiction by letting him live with you.

Can I suggest you set yourself up so there's no possibility of him stealing from you again? You won't be able to force him into treatment until he's ready, and that could take a long time. He's obviously worked out how to look after himself and get what he wants, if not legitimately, then by stealing. Just make sure he doesn't ruin your life as well as his, because no matter how much you love and worry about him, you're not going to be able to cure him.

Are you parents in the picture?
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Old 10-07-2014, 09:28 PM
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Hi Oephaelia, I have an old friend who has had his troubles with crack and heroin. I am also friends with his brother and I will get calls from the brother once in a while asking if I know where Dave is because things are missing from the house and he can't find him. He'll call most of Dave's friends and if no one has heard from him, it usually means he is off on a binge somewhere. He will disappear for days with no contact, then reappear out of no where when he has run out of money.

There is a good chance your brother , given his drug of choice, is off using. I know my friend goes to dingy hotels and smokes crack until he's blown whatever he got for stolen items at the pawn shop.

A drug user on a crack or heroin binge aren't likely to pick up the phone. I am sure your brother will turn up eventually. They always do. I am sure you are sick with worry. Feel free to reach out here for support.
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Old 10-08-2014, 03:03 AM
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Welcome to the Forum Oephaelia!!

You'll find loads of support here on SR!!
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Old 10-08-2014, 03:47 PM
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Thanks everyone for your words of support. I still don't know where he is but trust that whatever he is doing, he is a grown man and has to rise or fall on his own choices.

I had to file a police report to get my money back from the fraud department at the bank and it has me heartbroken but I had no other resources, and so no choice. I'm still out the cash but they said it will come back into my account slowly. I had to borrow to feed myself.

He wrecked a spare car so I still have my own to drive. Thank the Lord.

I got my house keys back from his girlfriend. I'm not sure if he won't talk to me because he is resenting me for booting him out or if he's just so sick on drugs right now that he could care less. At least he is alive.

I'm calmer now, after all he's been like this for 25 years. I have to let go of his outcome. I hate it, I wish I could help him, tell him that I love him, but he clearly doesn't want to talk now. So I accept that. It is a terrible feeling to love a brother who is literally spiraling to what appears to be his death.

I will post on Friends and Family but I wanted the perspective of people with this horrible disease. Thank you again and any words of advise at all are more than welcome.
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Old 10-08-2014, 03:56 PM
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Feelinggreat, my mom has helped him but we both realize that the only one that can help him is himself. She won't help him at all.

Before I took him in, he was four months clean after a jail stay. Things were really good and we were supporting each other until he spun out of control after getting a student loan. The last two weeks he just drifted, then I came home on Friday night and found him high on methadone and benzos. I took his keys away.

The next morning he went through my purse while I was in another room and disappeared, saying he was going to dose. I haven't seen him since.
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