When will things ever go right in my life?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
When will things ever go right in my life?
Not sure why things never seem to turn out for me, the sober one. Very sad right now. I thought things were finally turning around for me. Not sure why I would expect things to ever go well for me.
So I put an offer in on a town home, divorce is October 29, from my AH. Someone came in and offered more, of course. I of course have a contingency because the house I am selling I need that money and have to close first. So I am trying to get a pre approval letter from the buyers showing they are good for the money, to show my new town home owner.
I finally thought I was going to do this on my own. The place was exactly were I wanted to move too. It was a little higher then I expected but thought if i pushed it I could manage. You just wonder why God keeps punishing me. Has he not punished me enough with the hell that I have lived with year after year with the A. You wonder when in life things can go good for the good guys.
Some times I just want to crawl in a corner and cry. Hard to keep positive when nothing EVER goes your way. Can anyone just throw me a bone once in a while?
So I put an offer in on a town home, divorce is October 29, from my AH. Someone came in and offered more, of course. I of course have a contingency because the house I am selling I need that money and have to close first. So I am trying to get a pre approval letter from the buyers showing they are good for the money, to show my new town home owner.
I finally thought I was going to do this on my own. The place was exactly were I wanted to move too. It was a little higher then I expected but thought if i pushed it I could manage. You just wonder why God keeps punishing me. Has he not punished me enough with the hell that I have lived with year after year with the A. You wonder when in life things can go good for the good guys.
Some times I just want to crawl in a corner and cry. Hard to keep positive when nothing EVER goes your way. Can anyone just throw me a bone once in a while?
Stoic
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Wash D.C.
Posts: 321
Even if you don't get the town-home you really want, that doesn't mean it's a punishment. If you prescribe to the Everything happens for a Reason paradigm...perhaps there is something horribly wrong with that town-home that you're being protected from!?
A brighter day is right around the corner!
A brighter day is right around the corner!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,450
Maia, sometimes crawling into a corner and crying is the only thing you can do. Get it all out, don't swallow a tear. Eventually, and often before you know it, you really will be ready to get up and give it all another go.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
maia.....Life is frequently hard....full of challenges for every person...sober or not.
I can make a list that would reach from here to China of tragic things that happen to people who have never taken a drink in their life. If you read the l ist..you would cry.
Seeing the world through "victim eyes" keeps a person from seeing and enjpying the beauty and good that is a part of being alive.
dandylion
I can make a list that would reach from here to China of tragic things that happen to people who have never taken a drink in their life. If you read the l ist..you would cry.
Seeing the world through "victim eyes" keeps a person from seeing and enjpying the beauty and good that is a part of being alive.
dandylion
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 67
Sorry you are feeling so bad. I have been there - everything piles up and nothing works out and you feel like you will never win or get a break.
This may be the one you wanted but maybe its not the one you needed? Maybe that little bit of extra money would have been just enough to cause you financial problem?. I don't know why things happen one way or another none of us do. Sometimes I try to fight to think that maybe its a lesson on patience or money and my HP is involved.
Sometimes I'm frustrated that I have to remind myself how bad other people have it to feel better about my own life but that's exactly what it comes down to! It might be what you wanted but at least you will be able to try for a new place to live. Most important is thank goodness you are not being punished by STILL having to live with the A in your life. Its sounds like you get to have a safe place that is all YOURS!
I hope you start to feel better soon. I'm sending you lots of big hugs, I have a pretty good idea of how much you need them right now!!!
This may be the one you wanted but maybe its not the one you needed? Maybe that little bit of extra money would have been just enough to cause you financial problem?. I don't know why things happen one way or another none of us do. Sometimes I try to fight to think that maybe its a lesson on patience or money and my HP is involved.
Sometimes I'm frustrated that I have to remind myself how bad other people have it to feel better about my own life but that's exactly what it comes down to! It might be what you wanted but at least you will be able to try for a new place to live. Most important is thank goodness you are not being punished by STILL having to live with the A in your life. Its sounds like you get to have a safe place that is all YOURS!
I hope you start to feel better soon. I'm sending you lots of big hugs, I have a pretty good idea of how much you need them right now!!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
Take 15 minutes and cry your eyes out and feel REALLY sorry for yourself. And then brush yourself off and go on with life.
Here's my thing: I try to remind myself that the only thing I have control over is my attitude. Whether you put yourself in the victim role or tell yourself that you're gonna go looking for something better, the fact remains -- you didn't get the house. So be sad about it for a while and then move on.
Let me tell you a story from my life: Last spring, I fell in love with the perfect house. I was crunching the numbers and realized we could do it. Before we were able to put in an offer, the house sold. I cried. I really did. For a long time. And then of course nothing we looked at after that was acceptable because I wanted every house I looked at to be that house that I didn't get.
So husband and I discussed back and forth and decided to put off buying and find a house to rent for a year. During that year, our financial situation changed radically, for reasons we had no control over. We were just talking about it last weekend that if we had bought the dream house last spring, we would have had to put it on the market now. We would have had to sell it.
Instead, we're renting a smaller place with lower monthly costs, and we have been able to handle the personal financial downturn without making many sacrifices.
That's just one story from recently. But I've found that in general, when one door closes, it's because you're not supposed to go through it, for some reason. I don't think God is punishing you; I think he's protecting you. (((hugs))) Doesn't mean you have to like it, though.
Here's my thing: I try to remind myself that the only thing I have control over is my attitude. Whether you put yourself in the victim role or tell yourself that you're gonna go looking for something better, the fact remains -- you didn't get the house. So be sad about it for a while and then move on.
Let me tell you a story from my life: Last spring, I fell in love with the perfect house. I was crunching the numbers and realized we could do it. Before we were able to put in an offer, the house sold. I cried. I really did. For a long time. And then of course nothing we looked at after that was acceptable because I wanted every house I looked at to be that house that I didn't get.
So husband and I discussed back and forth and decided to put off buying and find a house to rent for a year. During that year, our financial situation changed radically, for reasons we had no control over. We were just talking about it last weekend that if we had bought the dream house last spring, we would have had to put it on the market now. We would have had to sell it.
Instead, we're renting a smaller place with lower monthly costs, and we have been able to handle the personal financial downturn without making many sacrifices.
That's just one story from recently. But I've found that in general, when one door closes, it's because you're not supposed to go through it, for some reason. I don't think God is punishing you; I think he's protecting you. (((hugs))) Doesn't mean you have to like it, though.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 1,099
I'm not trying to preach but if you do believe in a higher power try praying that He lead you to the right place for you. I did that and after I prayed about it, I was at work one night and picked up a paper laying on the desk. In the classifieds I found a farm house for rent. It was an hour away but when I went to look at it, it was everything I have always wanted and it was affordable! It has brought me so much peace and I truly believe God lead me to this beautiful place. If the town home doesn't work out He may have something even better in store for you. Hugs. I know you are going through a dark time now but the sun will shine again ...it's always darkest just before dawn. Keep us posted.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
Thanks everyone, I know that it just wasn't meant to be. Just a bummer for me and my kids. I guess I can put my big girl pants on and keep looking. Like this is the only let down I have had in my life. I have SURVIVED a lot worse.
I have 35 days to find another place. If not, I will put the stuff in storage and the dog and I will find something, somewhere. Less pressure with one child in college and won't be home till Thanksgiving.
Thanks for your support, it really means a lot to me, as you all have such meaningful comments.
I have 35 days to find another place. If not, I will put the stuff in storage and the dog and I will find something, somewhere. Less pressure with one child in college and won't be home till Thanksgiving.
Thanks for your support, it really means a lot to me, as you all have such meaningful comments.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
Aww I'm sorry. I know that is disappointing and can be a blow. It (wonky housing stress) happens to almost everyone. You'll find the perfect place - and if you don't - you'll find a place and make it perfect 
until something better comes along.
until something better comes along.
Baby Steps
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1,689
I feel like crawling into a corner and crying most days and do you know what that is exactly what I do, I don't bottle it up or push my feelings to the side. I find somewhere quiet in work or go to my bedroom at home and cry until there is nothing left and I wallow for a little bit. Then I get back up and go about my day as best as I can, not easy.
I have a saying that I repeat constantly when things go wrong or if I want something, "what's for you won't go by you".
Try not be so hard on yourself and take it one day at a time. Tight hugs
I have a saying that I repeat constantly when things go wrong or if I want something, "what's for you won't go by you".
Try not be so hard on yourself and take it one day at a time. Tight hugs
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Of great help to me is accepting the world as it is not as I would have. When I stopped trying to make everything conform to the way I thought it should be life became so much easier and better
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
Posts: 3,178
I can understand being uptight about wanting to know your new place so you can plan on making it your new home - especially when you have KIDS! Ask the universe to make it right - whatever right is for you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 1,778
My dad's advice when buying a house, car, property etc.....do not become emotionally attached to it or the outcome. There are always other houses. The home you are meant to have will come along.
Sorry you're feeling down. xoxo
Sorry you're feeling down. xoxo
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
This is a little harsh. I know it applies to me, but it might not to you. So take what you want, and leave the rest.
My higher power, who I choose to call God, relayed to me a while back that a lot of the suffering I am undergoing is because of poor choices I made in life. Now that I have embraced by own recovery and am making wiser choices, circumstances will eventually follow.
Owning this has helped me a lot in my own recovery, and avoids me feeling self-pity.
Hope this helps!
My higher power, who I choose to call God, relayed to me a while back that a lot of the suffering I am undergoing is because of poor choices I made in life. Now that I have embraced by own recovery and am making wiser choices, circumstances will eventually follow.
Owning this has helped me a lot in my own recovery, and avoids me feeling self-pity.
Hope this helps!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
Thanks everyone..
Butterfly thanks for the quote "what's for you won't go by you." I think I needed to hear that.
The real estate agent called and said that I might still be in the running.. they were showing it one more time tonight to see if they get another offer. I will know for sure tomorrow.
But I did have a spiritual awakening today.. once again my ah could not figure something out. So he was getting frustrated with me. He got angry and hung up on me. (Again). So guess what I did . I called him back and told him to figure it out and that I was done helping him out. So I Blocked his number on my phone. Defriended him on Fb and blocked him. I am trying to follow the no contact rule. I am done with his A abuse. He asked if I would go to the bank on sat with him, I told him I will go first then he can come later. I will not go with him. I am done being a 34 year victim.. no abuse!
Butterfly thanks for the quote "what's for you won't go by you." I think I needed to hear that.
The real estate agent called and said that I might still be in the running.. they were showing it one more time tonight to see if they get another offer. I will know for sure tomorrow.
But I did have a spiritual awakening today.. once again my ah could not figure something out. So he was getting frustrated with me. He got angry and hung up on me. (Again). So guess what I did . I called him back and told him to figure it out and that I was done helping him out. So I Blocked his number on my phone. Defriended him on Fb and blocked him. I am trying to follow the no contact rule. I am done with his A abuse. He asked if I would go to the bank on sat with him, I told him I will go first then he can come later. I will not go with him. I am done being a 34 year victim.. no abuse!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
all that means is it wasn't right for YOU....that there is something else better for you on the horizon. stay open to the many opportunities.
for us the difference between the first house we looked at and I thought I was in love with and where we ended up is beyond vast. just today, coming home from work. opening the gate to our driveway, looking down at the garage and the house and the lake beyond, I got tingly wondering STILL how the hell we ended up HERE, 8 years later. the Universe knew better......
for us the difference between the first house we looked at and I thought I was in love with and where we ended up is beyond vast. just today, coming home from work. opening the gate to our driveway, looking down at the garage and the house and the lake beyond, I got tingly wondering STILL how the hell we ended up HERE, 8 years later. the Universe knew better......
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