eastboundndown

Every time I go through this, I sit down relax and ask myself that question. Then I really, really think about it.
When I ask myself today -scared. Scared is all I could come up with. Scared of not having a crutch. Scared of the depression that comes with it (screw the physical symptoms) The depression and lack of sleep is what gets me. I'm scared of the depression. I'm scared of going days without sleep. I'm scared of not being able to cope. I'm scared of the boredom. I'm scared of my lonely life. I'm scared of getting sober and always having that label and people never letting go of what I once was.
I also had a very small answer in the back of my mind, that just kept saying 'liberated'. Free to do whatever. Free to start over. Free to recreate a life. Free of the chains.

But that small voice was always overpowered by 'scared'.

I just don't think I'm ready for the fight that comes along with this, but is anybody ever ready for it? It's a shame that this comes down to me using drugs because I get bored and depressed and have insomnia.

MelindaFlowers

Gosh, I can relate to all of those fears about stopping. I can picture what my life will look like in a year or five years and it will be okay. I'm about three months in and I'm still in a bit of shock that I can't drink anymore, ever. Thank goodness for hangovers or I don't know if I ever would have stopped.

It is liberating though, isn't it? There is now hope where there was only despair. I knew I wouldn't be where I want to be in five years if I continued. Aside from not being dead at 33 or 36, it's a great feeling to know that I'm actually being proactive in my life about something. Drinking every night was the opposite of proactive. It was nothing but negative and a road to nowhere.

When I get worried about my future without drinking (This is what truly defines addiction for me: worrying about removing something toxic from my life?!) I like to think of all the people I know who are truly happy and content without drinking. Drinking isn't even a part of their lives and they wake up every day and go to work and deal with life's ups and downs without numbing themselves. I want to join that team! It's still a little too early in my sobriety to feel that I'm really "there" yet.

The term "non-drinker" has really helped me to accept this new way of life. I am a non-drinker. Simple as that.

trachemys

Let's try an exercise.

Instead of thinking about all the negatives, expand on that "liberated" small answer and make it big. Think about all the ways your life will be better. Think about how small the initial repercussions will be in comparison to freedom.

Your AV(Addictive Voice), your hindbrain, your lizard mind, your beast, is telling you it won't be worth it. That the temporary symptoms will be forever. That you'll never feel good again without your drug of choice.

Tell it that it's not in control. Put your rational mind in charge. The initial bad times will pass. The long term is all better times.

PurpleKnight

There's never going to be a "good time", I was always quitting tomorrow, one more day and then I'll quit, but that day never seemed to come.

At some point we need to take a leap of faith, cling on to those that went before us who say it's going to be ok, and go for it!!

You can do this!!

aborkie

As terrible as it seems to quit drinking it does get much better after time as you get into the routine of sobriety. You eventually start thinking less and less about alcohol and your sleep does improve greatly.

Soberwolf

This

Dee74

I don't think there one of us here who wasn't scared about quitting eastbound.
I was terrified.

But I got to the point I was more scared about what might happen if I didn't quit.

You'll find a lot of support here - you're not alone. Quitting is scary but communities like this, and recovery groups like AA or SMART or LifeRing, make it as easy as possible

D