A morning of manipulation
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 113
A morning of manipulation
Well this has been a fun morning. I looked at my text from last night and apparently AH took too many pills last night and almost knocked himself out throwing up. Guess he hit his head on the toilet? I texted to see if he was alive and he is. I am now getting the I'm done...I don't care anymore manipulation. I would call 911 but when they got there he would just lie and say I'm being crazy. If he's not an immediate threat to himself or others they will not do nothing but leave then I get to muddle through the backlash of calling.
My godmother killed herself and there was no warning. She just did it. People who threaten but don't try anything are screaming for help. Usually. With him I really think it's all manipulation to get me back. It's tried and true. He knows it works.
My solution for now bc it's all I'm ready to do is turn in the annulment papers to be legally untied. I might yet go back but will always have the opportunity to walk away without lawyers. That's all I can do for now. I'm putting rings back on. I. Still married and it feels bad to me. I'll do away with them when I am ready. That's my best today. He gets his supply bc I'll be texting to check on him all day. I'm not one to let someone kill themselves if I can help it. Oh he knows me so well.
My godmother killed herself and there was no warning. She just did it. People who threaten but don't try anything are screaming for help. Usually. With him I really think it's all manipulation to get me back. It's tried and true. He knows it works.
My solution for now bc it's all I'm ready to do is turn in the annulment papers to be legally untied. I might yet go back but will always have the opportunity to walk away without lawyers. That's all I can do for now. I'm putting rings back on. I. Still married and it feels bad to me. I'll do away with them when I am ready. That's my best today. He gets his supply bc I'll be texting to check on him all day. I'm not one to let someone kill themselves if I can help it. Oh he knows me so well.
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
It is important to do what we can, when we can.
I left my rings on until the day the divorce was final too, even though we were living apart before that.
You could always text him the number to the suicide hotline and leave it at that. Text it three times a day if you want. You know that if he wants to kills himself for real (and I agree it is all manipulation) you can't save him anyway? He needs a trained 3rd party.
I left my rings on until the day the divorce was final too, even though we were living apart before that.
You could always text him the number to the suicide hotline and leave it at that. Text it three times a day if you want. You know that if he wants to kills himself for real (and I agree it is all manipulation) you can't save him anyway? He needs a trained 3rd party.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
You seem clear in your head that you are being manipulated but are not ready to do anything about it. I get that and it shows a lot of self-awareness. You do what you feel you need to do and are ready for but you can also take some steps to address the valley between those two points.
Is there some reading that is meaningful for you? A poem or saying you can repeat? I wish I had something to suggest but I'm coming up empty - maybe some other wiser people will chime in.
Keep posting Mischa!
Is there some reading that is meaningful for you? A poem or saying you can repeat? I wish I had something to suggest but I'm coming up empty - maybe some other wiser people will chime in.
Keep posting Mischa!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 113
He won't answer the question. I have already done that. (be upfront and ask) Just dances around it with I just don't care anymore and I'm done. I've called before. they show up, question him, take his vitals, ask if he wants help, he says no he's fine, they leave.
It's his manipulation game. I'm feeling out work today to see the best day to call in sick so I can go downtown and file the papers. I live in LA so this will probably be a half day thing (at best) just getting through the lines at the courthouse. I can't be honest at work bc i have kind of a high profile job and a boss who gets a little too fresh sometimes so it's best if I stay married here. This is none of their business anyway as long as it doesn't interfere with my work. After I file i have to go serve him and then back to the courthouse to file that. So all day. After that heart breaker I will probably use one of my massage gift certificates I bought myself when i had a few dollars to spare (that never happens).
1 step at a time as I am ready. I'm not ready to file but I'm doing that anyway. After that maybe I'll be ready to take another step. I really think after i file so much of this will be lifted and I will think a little clearer. i will no longer have anything that ties me to him, I can simply walk away at anytime. I just going to concentrate on getting past step 1 without going backwards. Step 1 - file papers - most important.
It's his manipulation game. I'm feeling out work today to see the best day to call in sick so I can go downtown and file the papers. I live in LA so this will probably be a half day thing (at best) just getting through the lines at the courthouse. I can't be honest at work bc i have kind of a high profile job and a boss who gets a little too fresh sometimes so it's best if I stay married here. This is none of their business anyway as long as it doesn't interfere with my work. After I file i have to go serve him and then back to the courthouse to file that. So all day. After that heart breaker I will probably use one of my massage gift certificates I bought myself when i had a few dollars to spare (that never happens).
1 step at a time as I am ready. I'm not ready to file but I'm doing that anyway. After that maybe I'll be ready to take another step. I really think after i file so much of this will be lifted and I will think a little clearer. i will no longer have anything that ties me to him, I can simply walk away at anytime. I just going to concentrate on getting past step 1 without going backwards. Step 1 - file papers - most important.
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