Sober Father Avoiding Pity Party
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Saint Paul
Posts: 3
Sober Father Avoiding Pity Party
Hello,
I am new to this forum. I am a father of an 8-month-old and have been so busy caring for him, my wife and my job that I have been missing my AA meetings and my AA fellowship. I found this forum through googling "loneliness in sobriety" as I am feeling that now.
I am trying to avoid a pity party, I know this feeling will pass, I do have friends, just not many sober friends. I visited with old drinking/drug friends yesterday and it threw me into a funk as it made me feel like they are all still together drinking with abandon and I am on the outside now. I know that these are misperceptions, and I am overall happy when I am working my program (AA + A Course in Miracles + Prayer + Meditation).
Anyway, I would love to communicate with whomever and just know that we are fighting the good fight together. I did not know it would be so hard to get to meetings once I had a child. I know it will get easier and I am so thankful for my son, I am just missing that person-to-person connection that reminds me we're in this thing together.
Being lonely can lead to temptation and I want to shake that off!
- Saint Paul
I am new to this forum. I am a father of an 8-month-old and have been so busy caring for him, my wife and my job that I have been missing my AA meetings and my AA fellowship. I found this forum through googling "loneliness in sobriety" as I am feeling that now.
I am trying to avoid a pity party, I know this feeling will pass, I do have friends, just not many sober friends. I visited with old drinking/drug friends yesterday and it threw me into a funk as it made me feel like they are all still together drinking with abandon and I am on the outside now. I know that these are misperceptions, and I am overall happy when I am working my program (AA + A Course in Miracles + Prayer + Meditation).
Anyway, I would love to communicate with whomever and just know that we are fighting the good fight together. I did not know it would be so hard to get to meetings once I had a child. I know it will get easier and I am so thankful for my son, I am just missing that person-to-person connection that reminds me we're in this thing together.
Being lonely can lead to temptation and I want to shake that off!
- Saint Paul
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
we're here for ya!!
I've been through the 8 month old stage twice and I know how trying (while also wonderful) it can be.
Exhaustion, loss of time for Self, sacrifice of things that support our wholeness.... that is early parenting.
The nice thing about this place is it is here 24x7, even if the baby is fussing in your lap when you need a friendly, understanding ear.
Good for you, recognizing the need and taking action. That is keeping atop your sobriety and you've done the right thing.
Welcome.
(also, congratulations!!!)
I've been through the 8 month old stage twice and I know how trying (while also wonderful) it can be.
Exhaustion, loss of time for Self, sacrifice of things that support our wholeness.... that is early parenting.
The nice thing about this place is it is here 24x7, even if the baby is fussing in your lap when you need a friendly, understanding ear.
Good for you, recognizing the need and taking action. That is keeping atop your sobriety and you've done the right thing.
Welcome.
(also, congratulations!!!)
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I love it when people bring babies/children to AA meetings! If it's an open meeting, just bring him along.
When I was going regularly, there were kids at maybe 30% of the meetings I attended. Especially little ones, they don't know what's going on, and they get all kinds of attention. Usually some old-timer will pick him up and carry him around for half the meeting.
When I was going regularly, there were kids at maybe 30% of the meetings I attended. Especially little ones, they don't know what's going on, and they get all kinds of attention. Usually some old-timer will pick him up and carry him around for half the meeting.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 6,831
Hi saintpaul, I am now six days into sobriety. For the last decade alcohol abuse has been a part of virtually every weekend. As far as the good fight goes, I'll tell you my thoughts. My oldest child and only son will be leaving the nest next summer and moving to NYC. I can't change the times in the last 10 years that I allowed beer to be a priority over him, but I can change the future. Before he goes I intend to have a long conversation about the pain alcohol brought to my life. I will have this conversation when I am not being a 'do as I say and not as i do' dad. Not much respect in that. Anyway, as a proud dad of 3, I assure you that it goes all too quickly.....even though it won't seem that way at times. I wish so much I could talk to the guy I was becoming 10 years ago. Regret is bitter. Please hang in there, I know I am because this is the good fight.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Saint Paul
Posts: 3
Thank you for saying this, I appreciate you sharing your experience, strength and hope with me. I hope you can have those talks with your children and that they are healing and go well for you. As I type this my little boy is rolling around on the floor, happy as a clam and making little noises. I need to just soak in these times and not dwell on what others are doing with their lives. Thank you again, I needed your words.
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 1,305
Hi Saint Paul, and welcome! I'm sorry you're feeling disconnected...I think the early days of parenthood can do that, even for non-alcoholics. You are not alone. We are here for you, to provide support and understanding. (P.S. I LOVE that age, they are so happy and sweet...and not walking yet, haha!) Take good care and keep posting.
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