Here I go again..
Just another day...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 274
Here I go again..
Well I am back. lol. Its been forever since I posted. I think it was this time of year a few years ago that I was convinced I was going to stay sober. Didn't happen. I have lurked tho, quitting every Sunday. But I'm back to give it another shot. This will be long..I apologize in advanced.
August 13th I had to have a total abdominal hysterectomy. Was supposed to use the robot but there were issues. Recovery has been a b&*ch! So surgery was a wed, I drank the Saturday before. Just like any normal Saturday in my house. After the surgery I waited 2 weeks and picked right back up. But since I wasn't going to work, off on medical, my husband and I were drinking 2 nights a week. We normally share a 30 pack of beer plus maybe a 6pack extra. I drank beer for beer with him. He knows, most times, when to stop(not saying he isn't an alcoholic..binge drinker like me) and then he would cut me off and of course then I'm so pissed. I wanted to stay up drinking until it was daylight or I passed out..duh. Anyways, we had our drink nights. But I could also tell that I just wasn't healing like I should be. It was dragging. Instead of going back to work mid October now its end of October. But I kept drinking and mind you now I'm tired of drinking and its not even fun. But im an alcoholic so I drink no matter what. Everything is an excuse to drink. It used to be that if I drank with the girls I drank a lot less. Not anymore. Some friends came over for a girls night and they each brought like a 6 pack and I'm like wow..thats a teaser for me. lol what light weights. This past weekend I drank Saturday with the girls. The husband was out of town. When he came home Monday I was feeling pretty crappy, run down like always. But he mentioned drinking and there I was. Tuesday I could barely get out of bed..no biggie. An 800mg of motrin and an adderall and right as rain within 30 minutes. I could get out of bed but still icky. Wed. rolls around and I feel just ok. We went to eat and the first drink of water I took my insides were instantly in pain. Couldn't eat either. Went to get some groceries with hubby, got cranberry juice since my right kidney was getting sore. By the afternoon I was taking a shower and cleaning up and I was done. I went to the ER. I ended up with pancreatitis(the 2nd time in 8 years that has put me in the hospital) and a severe kidney infection. My lipase count was 7,332(the highest it should go is 160 I was told by the RN). The last time I was in for pancreatitis my lipase was like around 2000 or so. So I was aiming high. Go big or go home! Of course when the doctor asked if I was drinking heavily I said no. So then we blamed it on fatty foods and my surgery. Tho deep down inside I know who is at fault. And it is ME!
I spent one night in the hospital and told them the next morning I was leaving regardless of what they wanted. I knew the routine. No food, clear liquids only, no alcohol..EVER. When I can eat again low fats. But meanwhile between surgery and my drinking I depleted my potassium and magnesium. So I had to have IVs of both. Now the magnesium..no problem..the potassium..omg! They wanted to give me 6 bags of this stuff, which if you have never had potassium thru an IV your like OK, whatever. Luckily I was no longer NPO so I got to drink a mixture but still had to have 2 bags of this stuff. I have never experienced a pain like this. ever. It was like hot burning metal running thru my veins in my arm where the IV was. It went to my wrist and up to my shoulder. It was intense and unbelievably painful. They piggyback it with a saline solution to help dilute it so it wont burn so much which helped for a minute. Took 2 hours to go thru both very small bags since she had to dilute it so much because of the intense pain that brought me to tears. I dealt with the pain from the pancreatitis that should have had me doubled over in pain to deal with this! UGH! Needless to say my potassium should be spot on now.(sarcastically said).
And now here I am. So my new date is now October 1st. the wed. I went into the hospital. I have been 4 days now no food for my pancreas to heal. I haven't gone out at all except to see a movie, eat or shop. All my drinking was done at home. I went out with the hubby and a friend. We went to a festival. No, I didn't drink. Too soon to worry about relapse if you know what I mean. And then we went to a friends Halloween party. My energy dropped and then being around the food was driving me nuts more than everyone being drunk. So I left. I made it 3.5 hours. lol came home to my son and he drove us to the party store and I got a non alcoholic drink, which like I said, too soon to even think about wanting an adult beverage. Came home and decided its time to come back here. The hubby has no faith in me not drinking. He said well if you only go to the hospital once every 8 to 10 years for the pancreatitis then whats the problem? or just limit yourself..hello! I cant limit myself, we know this all so well! plus the problem is I'm getting older. And I'm doing more damage to myself. What if I keep drinking and the next time I get an attack this bad that I have damaged my pancreas to the point of no return and now I'm an insulin dependent diabetic. I know I said this last time I had my big attempt at sobriety. I have a friend that is type 1 and we, as in other friends of hers, always talk about how she is killing herself because she loves food and will not follow the diet she is supposed to..I have no right doing that.. I'm no different. I'm killing myself with alcohol and she is doing with McDonalds burgers and fries. Anyways, so hubby thinks I will fail. That pissed me off. A friend at the party kept saying but beer is clear..i said yes but its a no no. Another friend says so how long do you have to go not eating? I said thank god tomorrow I can eat! he says how long till you can drink..I said well..NEVER. kind of like a wow moment. NEVER. Its not the kind of never because of how alcoholics act, its the never because I have pushed it and should have been a never my last big attack 8 years go. But instead I gradually worked my way back up to out of control because thats what alcoholics do. The friend that asked about the how long till food and drinking says to me..well I never wanted to say this and I wouldn't if you were still drinking but I know I like to drink, however your a drunk. And he is right. When he has drank with us he's in that normal crowd of social drinkers. No one, btw, has ever told me I was drunk. I have been asked, are you drunk. But never have been called one.
So I have my 16yr old sons full support and you wonderful people. Tomorrow, when I wake up, I will not be hungover needing a motrin and adderall. I will be just me. Thank you for listening/reading. sorry I'm all over the place. 4 days no food..the real bad hunger pains are gone but you see things differently. Its like I'm on speed but I'm not, if that makes sense. one day at a time. I am off to lay in bed and watch a movie until I fall asleep. Good night!
August 13th I had to have a total abdominal hysterectomy. Was supposed to use the robot but there were issues. Recovery has been a b&*ch! So surgery was a wed, I drank the Saturday before. Just like any normal Saturday in my house. After the surgery I waited 2 weeks and picked right back up. But since I wasn't going to work, off on medical, my husband and I were drinking 2 nights a week. We normally share a 30 pack of beer plus maybe a 6pack extra. I drank beer for beer with him. He knows, most times, when to stop(not saying he isn't an alcoholic..binge drinker like me) and then he would cut me off and of course then I'm so pissed. I wanted to stay up drinking until it was daylight or I passed out..duh. Anyways, we had our drink nights. But I could also tell that I just wasn't healing like I should be. It was dragging. Instead of going back to work mid October now its end of October. But I kept drinking and mind you now I'm tired of drinking and its not even fun. But im an alcoholic so I drink no matter what. Everything is an excuse to drink. It used to be that if I drank with the girls I drank a lot less. Not anymore. Some friends came over for a girls night and they each brought like a 6 pack and I'm like wow..thats a teaser for me. lol what light weights. This past weekend I drank Saturday with the girls. The husband was out of town. When he came home Monday I was feeling pretty crappy, run down like always. But he mentioned drinking and there I was. Tuesday I could barely get out of bed..no biggie. An 800mg of motrin and an adderall and right as rain within 30 minutes. I could get out of bed but still icky. Wed. rolls around and I feel just ok. We went to eat and the first drink of water I took my insides were instantly in pain. Couldn't eat either. Went to get some groceries with hubby, got cranberry juice since my right kidney was getting sore. By the afternoon I was taking a shower and cleaning up and I was done. I went to the ER. I ended up with pancreatitis(the 2nd time in 8 years that has put me in the hospital) and a severe kidney infection. My lipase count was 7,332(the highest it should go is 160 I was told by the RN). The last time I was in for pancreatitis my lipase was like around 2000 or so. So I was aiming high. Go big or go home! Of course when the doctor asked if I was drinking heavily I said no. So then we blamed it on fatty foods and my surgery. Tho deep down inside I know who is at fault. And it is ME!
I spent one night in the hospital and told them the next morning I was leaving regardless of what they wanted. I knew the routine. No food, clear liquids only, no alcohol..EVER. When I can eat again low fats. But meanwhile between surgery and my drinking I depleted my potassium and magnesium. So I had to have IVs of both. Now the magnesium..no problem..the potassium..omg! They wanted to give me 6 bags of this stuff, which if you have never had potassium thru an IV your like OK, whatever. Luckily I was no longer NPO so I got to drink a mixture but still had to have 2 bags of this stuff. I have never experienced a pain like this. ever. It was like hot burning metal running thru my veins in my arm where the IV was. It went to my wrist and up to my shoulder. It was intense and unbelievably painful. They piggyback it with a saline solution to help dilute it so it wont burn so much which helped for a minute. Took 2 hours to go thru both very small bags since she had to dilute it so much because of the intense pain that brought me to tears. I dealt with the pain from the pancreatitis that should have had me doubled over in pain to deal with this! UGH! Needless to say my potassium should be spot on now.(sarcastically said).
And now here I am. So my new date is now October 1st. the wed. I went into the hospital. I have been 4 days now no food for my pancreas to heal. I haven't gone out at all except to see a movie, eat or shop. All my drinking was done at home. I went out with the hubby and a friend. We went to a festival. No, I didn't drink. Too soon to worry about relapse if you know what I mean. And then we went to a friends Halloween party. My energy dropped and then being around the food was driving me nuts more than everyone being drunk. So I left. I made it 3.5 hours. lol came home to my son and he drove us to the party store and I got a non alcoholic drink, which like I said, too soon to even think about wanting an adult beverage. Came home and decided its time to come back here. The hubby has no faith in me not drinking. He said well if you only go to the hospital once every 8 to 10 years for the pancreatitis then whats the problem? or just limit yourself..hello! I cant limit myself, we know this all so well! plus the problem is I'm getting older. And I'm doing more damage to myself. What if I keep drinking and the next time I get an attack this bad that I have damaged my pancreas to the point of no return and now I'm an insulin dependent diabetic. I know I said this last time I had my big attempt at sobriety. I have a friend that is type 1 and we, as in other friends of hers, always talk about how she is killing herself because she loves food and will not follow the diet she is supposed to..I have no right doing that.. I'm no different. I'm killing myself with alcohol and she is doing with McDonalds burgers and fries. Anyways, so hubby thinks I will fail. That pissed me off. A friend at the party kept saying but beer is clear..i said yes but its a no no. Another friend says so how long do you have to go not eating? I said thank god tomorrow I can eat! he says how long till you can drink..I said well..NEVER. kind of like a wow moment. NEVER. Its not the kind of never because of how alcoholics act, its the never because I have pushed it and should have been a never my last big attack 8 years go. But instead I gradually worked my way back up to out of control because thats what alcoholics do. The friend that asked about the how long till food and drinking says to me..well I never wanted to say this and I wouldn't if you were still drinking but I know I like to drink, however your a drunk. And he is right. When he has drank with us he's in that normal crowd of social drinkers. No one, btw, has ever told me I was drunk. I have been asked, are you drunk. But never have been called one.
So I have my 16yr old sons full support and you wonderful people. Tomorrow, when I wake up, I will not be hungover needing a motrin and adderall. I will be just me. Thank you for listening/reading. sorry I'm all over the place. 4 days no food..the real bad hunger pains are gone but you see things differently. Its like I'm on speed but I'm not, if that makes sense. one day at a time. I am off to lay in bed and watch a movie until I fall asleep. Good night!
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,064
Welcome back!
I hope you really use the support network here at SoberRecovery, because I find it very helpful.
Why not sign in to the 24-Hour Connections thread? It's just one more little incentive to stay accountable, and it gets you to this site daily where you can find something else of value whenever you look.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4936745
I hope you really use the support network here at SoberRecovery, because I find it very helpful.
Why not sign in to the 24-Hour Connections thread? It's just one more little incentive to stay accountable, and it gets you to this site daily where you can find something else of value whenever you look.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4936745
Just another day...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 274
Coldfusion, I have never noticed the 24 hour recovery connections. Is this something so like if Im out and want to drink I can pull it up on my phone and post? Sorry if its a stupid question. I haven't checked out the link yet. I was supposed to be in bed. But got sidetracked with emails.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,064
You can check in here at SR any time you feel cravings--the Newcomer's Forum here is probably best for that. There are also many on-going threads here where you can post what's going on in your life, and share experience, strength, and hope with a regular group. The 24-Hour Connections thread is a daily commitment to stay sober for the next 24 hours--I post once a day on it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
welcome Fiona... fellow Michigander here. It's a rough state to be sober in sometimes, eh? haha!!
hang in there. life is way too good to throw it away on poison.
alcohol is a great big lie and once you're over the hump you're going to see how beautiful it really is, and wonder what you ever saw in a can of beer.
hang in there. life is way too good to throw it away on poison.
alcohol is a great big lie and once you're over the hump you're going to see how beautiful it really is, and wonder what you ever saw in a can of beer.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 10
Hey Fiona,
Thank you for your post and sharing your story with us.
I also need to join the "never" brigade as I also find it difficult to stop after a "few".
On Friday I called my best mate and asked if he was free for a bite to eat after work. A "bite to eat" for me means as little food as possible and plenty of drinks but I always manage to persuade myself differently beforehand.
So my Friday started with stopping to buy a bottle of wine on the way home and having a few glasses to get me in the mood. From there I went to the restaurant where the first thing that caught my attention was the cocktail menu. I managed to put that aside in favour of several (3) large glasses of wine and finished up with 3 Bacardi and cokes. The only problem is that it didn't finish there, God if it did I would consider myself normal, LOL!.
I then went to the late bar having said goodbye to my friend, more drinks, then back to a house party then more than just drinks..
Having stayed up all night and dreading facing the come down, I went to my local bar and spent yesterday there arriving home at 10:30pm. I lay in bed unable to sleep till 4am this morning with my heart pounding.
I'm in my 40s and feel totally embarrassed and ashamed at my behaviour. The crazy thing is that I still do not fully accept that I cannot drink normally and find this so hard. The thought of life without a drink scares me yet the above is hardly living life.
I am off work this week and hoping to take some time out to try and get to grips with what is going on.
So that was my weekend, never a dull moment!!!
Wishing you the very best and thank God you have such a supportive son.
Take care,
Aidan
Thank you for your post and sharing your story with us.
I also need to join the "never" brigade as I also find it difficult to stop after a "few".
On Friday I called my best mate and asked if he was free for a bite to eat after work. A "bite to eat" for me means as little food as possible and plenty of drinks but I always manage to persuade myself differently beforehand.
So my Friday started with stopping to buy a bottle of wine on the way home and having a few glasses to get me in the mood. From there I went to the restaurant where the first thing that caught my attention was the cocktail menu. I managed to put that aside in favour of several (3) large glasses of wine and finished up with 3 Bacardi and cokes. The only problem is that it didn't finish there, God if it did I would consider myself normal, LOL!.
I then went to the late bar having said goodbye to my friend, more drinks, then back to a house party then more than just drinks..
Having stayed up all night and dreading facing the come down, I went to my local bar and spent yesterday there arriving home at 10:30pm. I lay in bed unable to sleep till 4am this morning with my heart pounding.
I'm in my 40s and feel totally embarrassed and ashamed at my behaviour. The crazy thing is that I still do not fully accept that I cannot drink normally and find this so hard. The thought of life without a drink scares me yet the above is hardly living life.
I am off work this week and hoping to take some time out to try and get to grips with what is going on.
So that was my weekend, never a dull moment!!!
Wishing you the very best and thank God you have such a supportive son.
Take care,
Aidan
Just another day...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 274
FreeOwl, you are not kidding! It is a rough state to not drink in! There seems to be a festival every single weekend that has a beer tent. Bars are everywhere. Several places that have great food are also bars! Its horrible. Everything we do revolves around drinking.
You are right..alcohol is poison and a lie. That Saturday night when I came back to this site, my husband was out continuing the party. He didnt get home until 4am, which is not unusual. There were times we were up till the birds came out. So I was not surprised. I did find out his driver was drunker than he was. This drinking episode however has left him feeling very poorly. His body is hurting and he has felt awful. He talked of making changes. One can only hope he will stop drinking with me. We will see. But this has been his worst hangover yet. I add in, im sorry you feel so horrible, but I feel great! lol
You are right..alcohol is poison and a lie. That Saturday night when I came back to this site, my husband was out continuing the party. He didnt get home until 4am, which is not unusual. There were times we were up till the birds came out. So I was not surprised. I did find out his driver was drunker than he was. This drinking episode however has left him feeling very poorly. His body is hurting and he has felt awful. He talked of making changes. One can only hope he will stop drinking with me. We will see. But this has been his worst hangover yet. I add in, im sorry you feel so horrible, but I feel great! lol
Just another day...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 274
Hi Aiden,
How have your days off been so far? It sounds like your weekend was exhausting!
I am 42 years old and I am very embarrassed of my drinking. The day after I get very depressed and hate myself. I come up with excuses in case anyone comes back to say that I said this or that or did this or that. Or I just say "u know me, I dont remember."
I am very fortunate to have gotten into one of the Big 3, on the assembly line and an easy job at that at an engine plant. I got in later so Im not tier one but next years contract should be fixing that. I am fortunate that my company will pay for school for me. So that means I can finish my bachelors degree and get off the line into an office job. Which means I can go onto a masters degree. But when I drink, none of that seems attainable. I get very negative and sad. Im not a fan of my job but I dont hate it. I hate it the day after drinking. All I want to do is stay home and drink more.
Maybe make a list of things you are fortunate to have then a list of things you can see yourself losing when you drink. Not going on to college and losing my life are things I see if I keep drinking which means leaving my son before a mother should have to. I am fortunate to have my sons support and I have always been a mother first.
It is hard to get the brain around that fact that we can NOT drink normal. It will never happen no matter how much we try to fool ourselves. When I open a beer or start on a mixed drink I am already anticipating the next drink. I drink my drinks fast and do not like to be empty handed..I dont know what to do with myself when I dont have an alcoholic drink in my hand once I have started drinking, I get antsy. I also get this weird feeling and bad taste in my mouth if I only have a couple then stop. Its hard to explain but in my mind the only way to fix that is to keep drinking. Its like that chip commercial, cant have just one. I take a drink to bed with me when the husband insists its time to go to bed. Or I will decide to clean something up so I can slam down a few more drinks before going to bed. I am finding empty cans and bottles of where I drank then hid the empties. Its a mess. Life is much harder when drinking.
As for never drinking again, yes, hard to accept that too. But what are the alternatives? Drinking on special occasions and then every weekend turns into a special occasion? For me, ending back up in the hospital and being told my pancreas is now not functioning and I have to depend on insulin shots the rest of my life. I watch movies alot..love the walking dead.and a thought that goes thru my mind, its stupid I know, but I think what if we experience an end of the world and the insulin is eventually gone...I will die. Everytime my lipase count goes over what it should be I am doing some kind of damage to my pancreas. So everytime I drink alcohol, my lipase goes up, maybe not to the point that im in pain and in the hospital but it goes up and I am running the chances of using insulin. And another factor for me recently is my father. He is an alcoholic as well. He has a slew of health issues with his heart. He gets drunk and wanders out of his home. The last time he did that he fell and hit his head. He wasnt found till hours later and rushed to the hospital. He was in there for weeks. He was so sick. He is still sick. He was told that if he wants to live he needs to stop smoking and drinking. He said ok. A few weeks later he was back at it. My stepmom does whatever he says. She goes and buys his alcohol. She has no where to go so she appeases him. I cannot become like my father. My sister and I both do not have much to do with him. But thats my sob story. Lol.
I hope this week you can accept what you need to do for you. At least your here, so thats a start, right? Do you have any support besides this group?
I wish you the best and hope to see more posts from you! Let us know how your week off is going. I haven't been able to get online the past couple days so I didnt get a chance to look at all the new posts.
Take care,
Fiona
How have your days off been so far? It sounds like your weekend was exhausting!
I am 42 years old and I am very embarrassed of my drinking. The day after I get very depressed and hate myself. I come up with excuses in case anyone comes back to say that I said this or that or did this or that. Or I just say "u know me, I dont remember."
I am very fortunate to have gotten into one of the Big 3, on the assembly line and an easy job at that at an engine plant. I got in later so Im not tier one but next years contract should be fixing that. I am fortunate that my company will pay for school for me. So that means I can finish my bachelors degree and get off the line into an office job. Which means I can go onto a masters degree. But when I drink, none of that seems attainable. I get very negative and sad. Im not a fan of my job but I dont hate it. I hate it the day after drinking. All I want to do is stay home and drink more.
Maybe make a list of things you are fortunate to have then a list of things you can see yourself losing when you drink. Not going on to college and losing my life are things I see if I keep drinking which means leaving my son before a mother should have to. I am fortunate to have my sons support and I have always been a mother first.
It is hard to get the brain around that fact that we can NOT drink normal. It will never happen no matter how much we try to fool ourselves. When I open a beer or start on a mixed drink I am already anticipating the next drink. I drink my drinks fast and do not like to be empty handed..I dont know what to do with myself when I dont have an alcoholic drink in my hand once I have started drinking, I get antsy. I also get this weird feeling and bad taste in my mouth if I only have a couple then stop. Its hard to explain but in my mind the only way to fix that is to keep drinking. Its like that chip commercial, cant have just one. I take a drink to bed with me when the husband insists its time to go to bed. Or I will decide to clean something up so I can slam down a few more drinks before going to bed. I am finding empty cans and bottles of where I drank then hid the empties. Its a mess. Life is much harder when drinking.
As for never drinking again, yes, hard to accept that too. But what are the alternatives? Drinking on special occasions and then every weekend turns into a special occasion? For me, ending back up in the hospital and being told my pancreas is now not functioning and I have to depend on insulin shots the rest of my life. I watch movies alot..love the walking dead.and a thought that goes thru my mind, its stupid I know, but I think what if we experience an end of the world and the insulin is eventually gone...I will die. Everytime my lipase count goes over what it should be I am doing some kind of damage to my pancreas. So everytime I drink alcohol, my lipase goes up, maybe not to the point that im in pain and in the hospital but it goes up and I am running the chances of using insulin. And another factor for me recently is my father. He is an alcoholic as well. He has a slew of health issues with his heart. He gets drunk and wanders out of his home. The last time he did that he fell and hit his head. He wasnt found till hours later and rushed to the hospital. He was in there for weeks. He was so sick. He is still sick. He was told that if he wants to live he needs to stop smoking and drinking. He said ok. A few weeks later he was back at it. My stepmom does whatever he says. She goes and buys his alcohol. She has no where to go so she appeases him. I cannot become like my father. My sister and I both do not have much to do with him. But thats my sob story. Lol.
I hope this week you can accept what you need to do for you. At least your here, so thats a start, right? Do you have any support besides this group?
I wish you the best and hope to see more posts from you! Let us know how your week off is going. I haven't been able to get online the past couple days so I didnt get a chance to look at all the new posts.
Take care,
Fiona
Just another day...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 274
least,
Thank you. Im glad to be back. wish I never left. I was just thinking to myself, where is my fellow dog lover? I let the death of my favorite dog last year do me in with my drinking. It got really bad for a bit, worse than it was just recently. I took my binge drinking to a new level for a long time. Was this ever an issue for you? When you were drinking did you drink more because of the loss of a pet or when you quit and lost a pet was it hard to NOT drink?
Now that im not drinking I bought all this stuff to bake. lol I hate cooking but like baking so Im off to bake a few goodies for the kid and I.
Thank you. Im glad to be back. wish I never left. I was just thinking to myself, where is my fellow dog lover? I let the death of my favorite dog last year do me in with my drinking. It got really bad for a bit, worse than it was just recently. I took my binge drinking to a new level for a long time. Was this ever an issue for you? When you were drinking did you drink more because of the loss of a pet or when you quit and lost a pet was it hard to NOT drink?
Now that im not drinking I bought all this stuff to bake. lol I hate cooking but like baking so Im off to bake a few goodies for the kid and I.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
I'm glad to see you back with us Fiona. We have to be ready, that I know. You sound optimistic & determined.
Wise of you to stay busy by baking - or whatever. Anything that distracts us in the early days is helpful.
Wise of you to stay busy by baking - or whatever. Anything that distracts us in the early days is helpful.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by Fiona630 
FreeOwl, you are not kidding! It is a rough state to not drink in! There seems to be a festival every single weekend that has a beer tent. Bars are everywhere. Several places that have great food are also bars! Its horrible. Everything we do revolves around drinking.
But - I've found that none of that really matters too much once my sobriety is firm and centered and my commitment to that choice is clear. I am now able to go to a pub for a meal or out to the brewery for music once in a while and it's really not a big deal. That said, now that I'm not drinking - none of that really seems to be all that much fun. I'm finding new, deeper, more meaningful ways to have fun. It's meant being a bit less social for a while, but even that is changing. Over time, my new interests have started to build new social connections that are not built on a foundation of booze.
Even here in a state where the culture is deeply rooted in a working class boozed-up history, there are many people whose lives don't revolve around drinking. It wasn't really possible to see them before - largely because they don't hang out in bars, liquor stores, tailgate parties or other places I used to design my life around.
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