ANewDayNYC

I know I have a drinking problem, but I continue to drink. Some of my quit attempts were genuine, yet I am unable to stop. I once miraculously stopped for one month. Last night I lost my jacket – just feel tired of this. Just feel disappointed in myself. It’s the same thing every week.

gracetuesday

Begin again..... that is all you can do - other than giving up and accepting the misery of alcoholic life & death...

As long as you are alive, there is hope. For me, sobriety didn't happen instantly. I had to identify, develop & practice new coping skills before I was ready to let the booze go.

Life is so much better sober....

Sending you peace & strength!

ANewDayNYC

Thank you for your post. Just feel very upset/shame today.

Resolv

Hey ANewDayInNYC. Perhaps the upset / shame will subside if you do something about your situation. I understand you know you need to quit. Think about how you're going about quitting. Take inventory of your resources, i.e., family, friends, professionals, SR. Create a dialog with your resources regarding how to go about quitting. In other words, don't try this alone. Don't work in a vacuum. Talk it out and as mentioned above, keep on trying.

melki

Try again. Make a plan. Don't let your addiction lead you to believe you can't do this. You most certainly can. We all started at day 1 and went on from there figuring it out. The most important thing is to take the drinking option off the table completely. You CAN do this.

Ruby2

Being upset and riddled with shame will not get you what you want, which is to quit feeling that way because of the drinking. Take it easy on yourself. It can be done. For me, I kept promising myself that I would quit. Maybe today. Maybe tomorrow. I'll think about it, sometime. I couldn't do it on my own. I went to inpatient rehab for an almost three week "reboot" followed by ninety AA meetings in ninety days, followed by more AA meetings. While I did relapse for three months after 10.5 months sober time. It was easier to quit on my own after that with just AA and SR because I had built up some time and tools and I have ten months again. You can do it. Don't beat yourself up. We have all been there, some more than others. Maybe rehab? Inpatient or out, but something to add to what you are doing now or different from what you are doing now.

ANewDayNYC

I see a therapist for my anxiety/relationship issues. I should tell her I have a drinking problem, just feel too embarrassed to admit I have a problem. Some of my closest friends know that I am working to get sober.

Anna

I think it's so important to be able to step out of that vicious cycle of drinking/feeling miserable about it/and drinking again. Do something different this time. Step out of the downward spiral. You can do this!

ANewDayNYC

Thank for the posts everyone. Feeling support makes me feel less alone and I feel a little bit better. I am grateful for this website.

fini

Some of my quit attempts were genuine, yet I am unable to stop........ It’s the same thing every week.

NewDay,

i went through that for years and years. and yes, my attempts were genuine, but somehow i couldn't not drink again. sorry for the double negative, but it's the only way that expresses it accurately.

the same thing every week.
yes.
but not until it hit me that this would never be different, that drinking again would always be in this way and not any other "healthy normal way", only when i really knew (understood and accepted) that it will always be this way, could i quit.
i had to embrace that it would never change, and then i could let it go.

sounds like you might be at a similar point.

Soberwolf

Newday you can do this its a mental choice you either want to continue living like this or you can decide to let this be it

really rooting for ya dont beat yourself up your stopping your own progress

biminiblue

I think a therapist should be the one person to whom we do not lie about anything.

She/he is not going to judge you for that...and she/he probably already knows and is waiting for you to reveal.

Honesty is the first step to acceptance. Acceptance leads to a desire to find a solution.

Dee74

I've said this before but if the weekend are your danger time, why not make a plan for next weekend?

Start making it now.

You have a week. There's no reason why you can;t be ready and prepared for next Friday night.

If you're going to AA, let people know of your weekend trouble...I guarantee you'll find support, and probably a few meetings to hit and a few numbers to call.

Getting out of the cycle can really involve some effort - but it's work well spent ANewDay

D

MythOfSisyphus

As embarrassing as it might be I think you have to tell her. It's like calling tech support about your computer but not honestly telling them what's wrong. She won't be able to help you fully until you let her into the issues.

I wish I knew why some can quit without much trouble while others struggle. When I used to drink I would get bad headaches from withdrawal if I didn't start drinking by midnite/1:00 am. It was so bad that I figured I'd probably need meds to quit. Imagine my surprise when I hit the AVRT "Bullets for my Beast" site and stopped immediately! Everyone has their own suggestion I guess but AVRT really was a "magic bullet" for my personal demon alcohol. Once I made my Big Plan all the withdrawal symptoms stopped. It was weird but I didn't complain. I have been sober for two years now as of yesterday.

I know you're sick of it. God, I know I was. But don't let it get you down. You haven't failed, you just haven't succeeded yet. But you can!