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How do you handle your feelings?

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Old 10-03-2014, 10:29 AM
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How do you handle your feelings?

As I get sober, I am noticing my emotions running the gambit from excitement to depression to anger to whatever. Some are very intense. And with each emotion, I can imagine a perfect cocktail to go with it.

So, how are you all dealing with your feelings? Do you ride them out? Write them out? Sing? Dance? Watch TV? Play a game? Punch a wall?

When I was a kid and had a hissy fit my mom would tell me to go in my bedroom and scream into my pillow. Maybe I'll try that again.
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Old 10-03-2014, 10:33 AM
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I'm a dancer, so yes, I did dance.

I bought a journal and pushed myself to write, especially the negative, irritating, upsetting stuff that came along. I ended up writing for about 10 months, I think. It really helped.

I learned to 'Let it Go', as trite as that sounds sometimes. "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle taught me that I wasn't a slave to my emotions and they didn't control me. That was news to me, amazing news.
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Old 10-03-2014, 10:38 AM
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Thanks Anna - I know you mentioned that book before. I will definitely have to get it. I've tried journaling in the past but I find that I self-edit too much to be very therapeutic. Maybe in time that would stop? I think it is great you found an outlet in dancing... physical movement is cathartic.
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Old 10-03-2014, 10:38 AM
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I journaled, exercised, posted on SR, and read a lot. All of that helped me through my emotional rollercoaster.

Now I'm learning to allow feelings, let them be what they are, and do something about my situation to change things if I don't like it, or let go of what I cannot change. I'm also meditating daily and that's where I'm learning about sitting with feelings, acceptance, letting go, and awareness.
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Old 10-03-2014, 10:43 AM
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Mindfulness (meditation) is really gaining favor in the medical community as a valid method of self-soothing. Universities and hospitals are even training professionals in it. It has gone from woo-woo far eastern mystical to mainstream. I am in the process of making an old bedroom into a meditation room.
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Old 10-03-2014, 10:46 AM
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I exercise (love swinging my kettleball around) and like Anna/SJ said...I feel my feelings. I don't fight with them, or try to ignore them or shove them away anymore. I allow them to process through me on their own time. I have the New Earth book as well and need to re-read it. We aren't slaves to our emotions. That was a real eye opener for me as well.
whooda thunk?
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Old 10-03-2014, 10:47 AM
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My mom gave me two short pieces of garden hose to beat the carpet with!

Physically, exercise helped. I would try to do that before I did too much thinking.

Therapy, journalling (first thing in the morning and in the evenings). I too found Eckhart Tolle useful, The Power of Now helped me realise that whatever I was going through was only temporary. I realised that when I viewed things in a negative light I was almost overwhelmed, when I simply accepted them and focused on what to do about them I had some freedom from the strong emotions.

something I still do when I find emotions getting the best of me is to consider "will I still feel so strongly about this in a month/year?" Usually, it's a no and then I realise I'm overreacting.

I seemed to have much better perspective by about 3 months
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Old 10-03-2014, 10:59 AM
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Originally Posted by Jupiters View Post
I exercise (love swinging my kettleball around) and like Anna/SJ said...I feel my feelings. I don't fight with them, or try to ignore them or shove them away anymore. I allow them to process through me on their own time. I have the New Earth book as well and need to re-read it. We aren't slaves to our emotions. That was a real eye opener for me as well.
whooda thunk?
The intensity of the emotions is what scares me a bit. Even the good ones. Control of your emotions? Yeah...whooda thunkit?
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Old 10-03-2014, 11:01 AM
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Originally Posted by seahorse661 View Post
My mom gave me two short pieces of garden hose to beat the carpet with!

Physically, exercise helped. I would try to do that before I did too much thinking.

Therapy, journalling (first thing in the morning and in the evenings). I too found Eckhart Tolle useful, The Power of Now helped me realise that whatever I was going through was only temporary. I realised that when I viewed things in a negative light I was almost overwhelmed, when I simply accepted them and focused on what to do about them I had some freedom from the strong emotions.

something I still do when I find emotions getting the best of me is to consider "will I still feel so strongly about this in a month/year?" Usually, it's a no and then I realise I'm overreacting.

I seemed to have much better perspective by about 3 months
Your mom and mine would have gotten along! LOL!

I like that "this too shall pass" way of thinking. It's just hard to do when you are in the moment. I gotta get those books. Thanks
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Old 10-03-2014, 11:08 AM
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Originally Posted by ArtFriend View Post
The intensity of the emotions is what scares me a bit. Even the good ones. Control of your emotions? Yeah...whooda thunkit?
I hear you on that big time. I often think "am I alone in all this FEELING of stuff?"
it can be quite intense. and nobody else seems to GET IT.
that's where I start to think I'm nuts.
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Old 10-03-2014, 12:16 PM
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Your thoughts dictate your feelings

Your thoughts control your feelings. You control your thoughts. Logical conclusion: You control your feelings.

Don't think it's true?

Say these affirmations ten times each:

Im powerful and I'm loving.
I'm powerful and I'm loved.
I'm powerful and I love it!!

(optional roar at the end)

don't feel energised? upbeat?

No person or situation can make you feel anything. It's what you tell yourself about it that dictates how you feel about it.

George Orwell — 'He who controls the past controls the future. He who controls the present controls the past.'
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Old 10-03-2014, 01:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Jupiters View Post
I hear you on that big time. I often think "am I alone in all this FEELING of stuff?"
it can be quite intense. and nobody else seems to GET IT.
that's where I start to think I'm nuts.
Lol, my husband sure thought I was nuts for while It took me several months to start leveling out a bit.
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Old 10-03-2014, 01:47 PM
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I go for a long walk. It's so simple and yet it helps immensely. There is a massive graveyard close to where I live and it's the most peaceful place i have ever been (wonder why haha). I stroll through there looking at the elaborate gravestones. The the ones for 19 year olds who died in World War II always make me snap out of my funk because I know those guys would love to have had a chance at life like I do.
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Old 10-03-2014, 01:49 PM
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Wastinglife, I find inspiration visiting graveyards too
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Old 10-03-2014, 01:51 PM
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Originally Posted by ArtFriend View Post
As I get sober, I am noticing my emotions running the gambit from excitement to depression to anger to whatever. Some are very intense. And with each emotion, I can imagine a perfect cocktail to go with it.

So, how are you all dealing with your feelings? Do you ride them out? Write them out? Sing? Dance? Watch TV? Play a game? Punch a wall?

When I was a kid and had a hissy fit my mom would tell me to go in my bedroom and scream into my pillow. Maybe I'll try that again.
Dont punch walls get a decent punchbag for around £45 from a sports shop and get some mitts and start to train

i do press ups pull ups and sit ups

good luck artfriend
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Old 10-03-2014, 02:37 PM
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There is a place here in Dallas called the Anger Room and you pay to go and bash up the place. Three levels:

- I need a break (5 minutes) $25
– Lash Out (15 minutes) $45
– Demolition (25 minutes) $75

Or you can specify the room you want:

DIning room - $50
Glass and Ceramics - $55
Kitchen - 60
Living room 40
Mannequin 35
Office 40

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ajxtf1bG4ts#t=35
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Old 10-03-2014, 02:47 PM
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Hi Art, I'm newly sober also and goi through the same thing. I am having all sorts of emotions, and they are making me crave alcohol. I am breathing, taking stock of all that is good in my life, and constantly reminding myself of why I can't drink anymore and how much worse it would all be if I did. Take it moment by moment.
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Old 10-03-2014, 02:57 PM
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Noone newly sober springs forth fully formed knowing how to deal with feeling, Art Friend - I certainly didn't.

I'd spent years running away from feelings. Dealing with them was uncomfortable.

But I learned pretty quickly that I had nothing to be scared of, and that even the most extreme emotions dissipated after a while...

After a few weeks things settled down markedly. I hope that's the same for you too
Anna's idea of a journal is a good one

D
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Old 10-03-2014, 03:25 PM
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Forums like this help. You can say pretty much whatever's on your mind without feeling too judged.

The only thing that really works for me is time. It seems to get better after the first week. Last time I quit that first week was bad. I'd be happy one minute and then the simplest thing would bring me to tears. I saw a picture of Charlie Brown and Snoopy sitting on a pier facing the water and broke down. lol
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Old 10-03-2014, 03:40 PM
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That reminded me of last Xmas when I heard that old tune about Snoopy and the Red Baron and how they put down their arms in the spirit of the holidays. I cried over that one too and I was drinking!! LOL
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