readerbaby71

My bf called from rehab. He is coming back next Thursday. His insurance only pays for 21 days. He thinks it's a good idea if he goes to a sober living house. I agreed, and I think he was surprised by that. His chances are all used up and the gravity of the situation is finally sinking in. He said he'd understand if I didn't want him to come back here at all. All kinds of crazy **** and broken promises have made me distrustful. I am so done with that stuff.

He's going to have to face the consequences of his drinking, and understand that it is going to take time to build trust again. I was upset at first but then I thought, 'it's time for him to sink or swim.' It's time for me too. I need to get my life together for myself. I'm doing pretty well mentally and have been writing a novel, volunteering, and getting out more. Come to think of it I am pretty well put together already. I also need to take care of my physical health. I'm 43 and not getting any younger.

I am feeling very at peace now that a plan has been formed and it's been easier for me to let go. I'm sure I'll have ups and downs when he gets back, but I feel a sense of calm that I haven't had in a while. I am so grateful to have the support of friends, family, and my meditation group. SR is an amazing place to be too.

He'll be going to an intensive outpatient program and is finally getting the psychiatric help he needs. He'll also have a county caseworker so maybe they can help him get benefits and speed up the housing process. It's time to leave it to the professionals.

Every time I get a little sad about it I think "sink or swim". I don't know why but it helps so much. I'm thinking it for both of us. This is my life we're talking about and I am taking control of it. The we we had hoped and dreamed for is not possible or realistic right now and there is nothing I can do about it. Whatever happens, I am going to be okay.

Thanks for listening.

ResignedToWait

What's your novel about?

FireSprite

With everything you have going on with all of this & your own recovery & your recent change in careers you have a VERY full plate....

I think you are showing us a shining example of that old phrase, "If you're going through hell, keep going!" GREAT job readerbaby!!!

readerbaby71

Thank you. And thank you for being my friend. I wouldn't be where I am without your kindness, love, and support. xoxo

FireSprite

Double ditto, Friend!!! (((((((HUGS)))))))))

hopeful4

RB...I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!

It had to be hard to agree with him. I think you are doing awesome my friend!

ladyscribbler

Fiction is an awesome way to dump those pesky negative emotions. The worse I feel approaching the page, the better my writing is. Channel that stuff, it's literary gold!
Glad to hear you're doing well. Hugs RB.

dandylion

I have always thought that it is such a good idea for the alcoholic to live seperately for at least the first year of sobriety....for everyone concerned.

dandylion

readerbaby71

Absolutely! I've written some of my best stuff while angry and/or heartbroken.

lillamy

Recovery looks good on you, friend.

suncatcher

Awesome post RB! So proud of you! I like the sink or swim mantra and how it applies to both sides of the coin! Think I'll try that approach too!

readerbaby71

It's a noir-ish murder mystery. That's all I can say for now.