Meandyouhowscom

Hi everyone
I'm at my wits end. I just can't stand being the wife of a heroin addict anymore and yet I don't think I could bear to leave him. I love him but the cycle of broken promises, lies and financial chaos is killing me.

jadealexander

Welcome. I am a girlfriend of a heroin addict. This site has definitely helped me a lot. I'm sure more people who are in a marriage with an addict will comment soon. I know for me it became easier when I accepted the reality that he was using and that I could not control it. Once I stopped trying to save him and stepped back from enabling him. He started seeking recovery on his own. For the year I've known him I tried so hard to make sure he never hit a rock bottom thinking I was helping him but I know now I was hurting him. Stay positive and read other forums and try out the chat

engaged62715

I am a fiance of a heroin addict who recently relapsed and is now seeking help. Ppl on here will support you and give you addict. Also have you attended nar non meeting they will help also.

ladyscribbler

Nothing changes if nothing changes. He doesn't sound ready to change. I second the suggestion of NarAnon or Alanon meetings for you. That's a good way to learn about how to set boundaries which can help protect you from the fallout of his addiction and get real life support from others who are in similar situations. Also check out the stickies at the top of the home page. The F&F of Alcoholics page has several good ones as well. Addiction is addiction, whatever the substance of choice.

Sungrl

but the cycle of broken promises, lies and financial chaos is killing me.

That is a pretty big but.....You can break your cycle.

atalose

Once you get to the bottom of YOUR why's regarding the above...........your decisions become more clearer.

It's impossible to have "normal" with anyone in active addiction. Chaos rules until someone changes the dance.

Seperation for many have been life savers all around.

hopeful4

Hello and welcome!

zoso77

Welcome to the Board. Let's cut to the chase:

As you can see from the replies to your post, others are where you currently are. So the good news is you're not alone and you've come to a really, really good place.

The bad news is the chances your AH will stop using heroin are pretty small. This leads to your rather nasty dilemma, doesn't it? You love him and don't want to leave him, but what he's doing to himself and to your marriage is making it very painful to stay.

We're not marriage counselors here. We can only share with you our experience, strength and hope. And my concern is not your marriage. It is your health and your sanity. There is a way to be sane and healthy even if your AH continues to use. The questions you'll have to ask yourself are a) are you open to that possibility and b) are you willing to do what you need to do to get to that place.

You've got some difficult decisions on your doorstep. And we'll be here to support you as you go through this process.

Again, Welcome to the Board.

denphen

It's a rough spot. But as someone mentioned already after you stop putting them first and realize you can't control it and you can't stop it there is a sort of peace to that. Does it really change your situation no. However, If your not leaving trust me I know you need peace. It's how I feel with my husband who is an addict.