Alchemist1978

I am back on this website. Just when I think things are manageable I self sabotage and go on a drinking streak. Last week was really bad. So here I am back feeling like a zombie from lack of sleep to try this again. I am sorry for letting you all down and myself down.

-Moss

I will start posting alot more because it is the easiet way for me to express my thoughts.

Barnumb

You are back and looking at your self in the mirror wanting to change. This is a great place to start again. I personally love this form of personal therapy. I love the community! Stick around and talk it out.

luvmygirls

Hi Moss! Welcome back, and congratulations on Day 2. You can do this. Posting frequently here sounds like a great plan. We are here for you.

Alchemist1978

It's like I have too much to lose but cannot get that through my head. I ask God constantly why are we born this way. We take things to excess when we know that it will lead to our demise. My life is truly becoming unmanageable.

Wastinglife

It's odd how we often break a streak of sobriety when we are actually feeling good and have things in order. Like we need to 'celebrate' or something.

nuffsEnuff

Would you mind letting me know how you self sabotaged yourself? NBD if you dont want to. Thought it may help in the future.

Fly N Buy

Glad your here, but take some stock to avoid drinking in the future perhaps. What went wrong.....again??

Old post from last July....

This is my first post to SR but have been reading it for the last 4 years. I slipped up this July 4th weekend and went on a wild bender after 1 Month Sober. I had started going to AA on a regular basis and was becoming more and more involved. I believe I keep sabotaging my efforts to stay sober.( HOW/WHAT DID YOU DO?? I am on day 2 and have not slept in the last 30 Hours and keep hearing music. Please take me under your wings here at SR because I have a beautiful wife and 1 year old I don't want to hurt anymore with this crazy behavior.:
End


When I quit 117 days ago, my life wasn't becoming unmanageable it WAS in this state. The precious, loving relationships I had were about to evaporate. It took me a long time...... please, don't be that guy ( me ).

I really didn't care WHY any power had made me this way ( self-pity) I just got really, really sick of seeing the reflection of my despair in my loved ones eyes. Today it has been replaced by hope!

I simply got to a place where I was willing and desirous of being sober above all other things. This I wanted more than than life itself - I got to the point of I could not envision life without alcohol nor life with alcohol. THAT is scary point of truth....

Grace, AA and SR are the trifecta that has gotten me this far.

Are you ready - willing and desirous to change, for good - TODAY?! If so, sobriety is waiting for you. It's your journey - take ownership.

Glad you are back!

peace

MavisTheFairy13

I'm back to day 1. We can do this! Keep posting

breath

In seeking Sobriety Surrender means Victory, not defeat; and Humility means self centered behavior and release of ego.
Of course the above is totally contradictory and makes no sense. It's in fellowship with others who share my "problem" and "issues" where I found how to untangle the contradictions.
We need to surrender to our powerlessness and unmanageability; we need to discover that the world does not revolve around us. We need to focus on ourselves and our recovery because nothing, absolutely nothing, can be done outside of us until we take care of our insides.
In Spirituality I realized that as conscious beings we are given Choice, we get to choose; and we have a thing called intuition. The more we cultivate these qualities the better we get at making and maintaining our choices. THis is my basis for defining my Spirituality...aka, my Higher Power.

"I don't know what my Higher Power IS, I just know I have One"

PurpleKnight

Go at things again, but if sheer willpower isn't working, maybe building in more support into your plan may be a way forward!!

You can do this!!