AlexEmk

Me: ''Salut ça va?''
My early morning client: ''biensur! c'est vendredi!''

translation:
''Hi! doing well?''
''Of course! it's friday!''

People Live for the weekend! Weekends are made to get a little out of the routine and see some friends! Reconnect with friends... drop the mask that we put all week long to be someone else for a job and be ourselves for one night and 2 days...



I used to love weekends too... getting drunk every night and have fun...

Now my fun is to be sober... to be sober, I need to control my environment and not put myself into positions where I will want to have a drink... Every weekend as become a battle against myself and against what society wants me to do...

Last weekend I had it rough, but I didn't drink! But let's be honest here for a second, I didn't had a great time at all, battling this AV in my head every minute, avoiding places to not be tempted, almost cried in my car because I wanted it so badly, yelled NOOOOOOO at myself pretty hard to keep control and keep me safe from doing stupid things...

Now this weekend, I expect it to be even tougher, because I'm going out with friends that drink!! Not alot, but a couple of glasses of wine for sure! I will say no, of course, and they will respect me entirely, no problems there..... but it's the face to face with alcohol that I don't want!!

I guess it's part of the process of sobering up!

I WILL MAKE IT TROUGH THE WEEKEND WITHOUT DRINKING!!

I swear and promise to myself and to my kids...

I AM STRONGER THEN THIS ADDICTION AND I WILL MAKE IT TROUGH!

I will get-up monday morning October 6th and say day 17... let's go! One more week!

instant

It all gets easier. For me weekends had to be "special", to drink knowing there was no work the next day. In truth life was increasingly a struggle and i lived with torment.

I now love 'unwinding' and the feeling of peace that the weekends bring.

I jad physical urges for a few months, after three months I was much less preoccupied and dtiven by alcohol related thinking.

Being sober has brought me freedom i never found in alcohol. A life of sobriety is an adventure, try to embrace it

Gilmer

Hi, Alex.

I found that at first I had to avoid outings at which there was alcohol. Watching other people drink happily made me tempted and bitter.

Now, ten months out, I'm OK-- but I definitely had to avoid social situations at the beginning.

justinJustQuit

I'm 30 days sober today! I have not been to a single function in those 30 days where alcohol was in the same room.

I could give a whole host of reasons why I'm glad I quit drinking. I'm already starting to see fewer cravings. It's a constant struggle though.

trachemys

Join in the Weekender thread if you haven't already

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...oct-3-5-a.html

We get together to keep the weekends fun and sober.

doureallycare2

I also hate weekends for a completely different reason.. That was when I got together with the xabf. I have wonderful family and friends but you don't spend your time with them like you do the person your involved with so there are to many "empty" hours.

How do we change our focus from what we don't have or cant do to what we can do and are doing? I cant wait for the day that I look forward to weekends again or to holidays or to well ya, just about any day..........For now Ill fake it "Happy Friday"....

AlexEmk

And that's why I'm willing to struggle and to suffer... because I know, at one point, that it gets easier and that I will break this addiction!

I had other addictions in the past, other ''harder'' drugs... and I know that the struggling part fade away at one point...

I just hope it won't take years... I would be willing to ''battle'' every weekend like i'm doing right now for a couple of months, but at one point, I will need to feel that it gets easier and that it goes away!

Thank god that right now, I'm motivated at counting the days I'm sober... every morning, I get up at 4am, I sit on the side on my bad, I wipe my eyes, I cratch my head, I stretch for 30 seconds and then I say ''Day 14 (this morning) let's go! So proud of your budy! No guilt feeling!''

AlexEmk

I feel the same way too... and I'll fake it all day long too...

endlesspatience

If you managed to quit harder drugs as you say, that's a major achievement and you should be proud of yourself. As you say, it should make tackling the booze a lot easier.

How about this? Could you write down on a piece of paper some of things you did to tackle the drugs? Lifestyle changes, things like that. Maybe then you could see if there are some similar things you can do to stop drinking.

As for weekends, I am amazed at how many other options there are apart from drinking. What about reading a book? If you haven't done it in a while, it's a lovely refreshing expereince.

livingnow

ALex,
Great post.
How about (just for a short season) changing it up on the weekends?
I found, when I quit smoking, for a season, I had to avoid my smoker friends.
Helps you heal
Now, They can smoke all they want around me (as long as we are outside!!)

JD4010

I have to get out of my place and do stuff to keep from drinking, as I was a lone drinker. I spend a lot of time in libraries, book stores and coffee houses now. I'm separated from my wife so I have even more "free" time now. Fortunately, drinking hasn't tempted me since I finally quit on August 31.

soberclover

I'm going to echo the previous thought that it is smart to avoid social situations in early sobriety that involve alcohol. For some people they find that they can "tough out" the night and be successful, but the resentment and frustration of not drinking creeps in a few days later and manifests in relapse behaviors. For me, with almost two years, this was essential.

Mark1014

Hi Alex, I'm proud you made it through your first weekend and see that you are determined to make it through this one too! This is my first weekend and I am anxious. My normal routine is early morning Saturday workout after which I pick up my first six pack. It is generally gone by 10:00 and I then 'run an errand' and happen to pick up another etc.. I'm thinking about leaving my wallet home so I can't buy anything. I love to exercise but dread the temptations the weekend will bring! Good luck this weekend...I'm rooting for you.

AlexEmk

Well endless, believe it or not... quitting drinking is the toughest, because when I decided to quit on the other drugs, my body was devasteded! I slept for 36 hrs straight, I couldn't even walk or think, everything was hurting, I felt like I was dying (and I probably was close!) so it's easy, afterwards, to remember that feeling of dying and not take some anymore!! I changed my friends, I stopped a lot of cool and fun things I was doing to take me away from these drugs.. etc...

So quitting drinking is to retake control of my life... not because I cannot fonction... so it's more mental, less physical and so a lot tougher... The addiction is definitely stronger!

AlexEmk

Same to you budy!

We will do this together!! One weekend at a time!

AlexEmk

Avoiding social activities would probably be the very right thing to do, but, with no good reason, I will still go and stay sober and live with the frustrations that it will bring... just to see my friends (we will still have good conversations and a good time) and to have a social activity with my girlfriend (having 2 little kids, social activities tend to be usual)

And having said that.... deep down inside.... I probably feel strong enough...

MyTime86

Yea weekends with friends is a alot of work right now.. I have a wedding to go to tomorrow I'm hoping I'll be able to relax and enjoy some of it, but I know it will be challenging. I just keep reminding my self that hangovers are terrible and in time being sober will be my new normal

PurpleKnight

In the beginning, a Tuesday night can be just as difficult as a Friday or Saturday night, the battle against our minds can be ongoing.

But it does get easier, as we carve out a new Sober lifestyle the constant battle mellows out, I found the more I saw myself as a non drinker and entrenched that mind frame into my everyday routine, new habits and routines were formed through practice!!

AlexEmk

Saturday night is OVER! Still sober... I lived with some frustrations, of course, but I still had a great time! I was with some friends that drinks but was ok with the fact that I sipped on sparkling lemon water all night and didn't ask even one question about it!

The AV tried a little manipulations, but being aware of the lies he's constantly saying makes it easier to deal with and to shut him up (thanks to this message board for teaching me what this AV really is!)

So proud and happy this morning!!

And sleeping only 5hrs and still being ''fonctional'' with my kids is PRICELESS!

razor15

Congratulations Alex! That is a big achievement. Learning we can still have fun in those types of social activities without booze is something I will need to keep working on in my early days like you. Thank you.