Buggirl

The shame of drinking at day 3!

I am really annoyed with myself!

I am not taking this anymore, I am going to AA tonight. I can't do this on my own!

I appreciate all your support, but just think that if I have a proper sponsor etc, it will help!

Sorry to let everyone down! Got to do this. I am in so much turmoil it's mad. Had to take day off work as just couldn't face it. I love my job and don't want to loose it! I need help! Fast! Drank so much beer and didn't come out the pub until 0100 in the morning! I drank on an empty stomach too, so it was just vile!

GracieLou

You did not let anyone down, least of all us. We do not sit in judgment.

I could not do it alone either and getting help was the first step for me.

Take it one day at a time. Everything is going to be okay as long as you don't pick up that first drink.

luvmygirls

Buggirl, the last thing I'm in a position to do is judge! Good for you for recognizing your need for face-to-face support. We are here for you. Take care and feel better.

sprout50

You slipped-it happens. Just pick yourself up and start again. Sounds like you have a plan now so that is good. We're rooting for you!

Dee74

I'm glad you're trying something different buggirl

Try and think of other things to do with your leisure time too - I could never stay sober when I was always at the pub?

D

heath480

Staying stopped was always the problem for me and realising it is the first drink that does the damage.

I hope you make it to AA tonight,I am in Staffordshire and I will be at a meeting tonight.

IOAA2

Hi.
I’m partial and think you made an excellent choice and hope you will stick with it thick and thin. I after not succeeding for a long time surrendered to the fact that I cannot drink in safety turned to people who had far more experience in stopping than I. in the beginning my thinking process was undisciplined and I was told to KEEP COMING, which at the time was needed because for the first few weeks my life was unmanageable. I slowly got better and became quite active in the group and to this day have no regrets.
Letting go of old ideas, a sponsor who I used, and meetingS got me sober to this day a lot of years later.

BE WELL

countrysidegirl

sorry to hear this buggirl much be very frustrating for you

did anything make you slip ? what made you go to the pub ? were you feeling bored ? anxious? depressed ? hurt ?

did these emotions overwhelm you and take over ?

don't beat yourself up, you made a mistake we all do, contact AA find a meeting that's near you and get yourself there , that's the first step a tough one but a good one

do you live alone ? do you have any other support ?

I feel for you but your fighting a hard addiction YOU WILL GET THERE KEEP YOUR CHIN UP

Charlotte x

Buggirl

Thanks for all the kind words! I will be at that meeting tonight! I am going to ring AA now and ask them what I need to do ie how much is it etc?

Countrygirl, I have a fantastic partner who is very supportive and the trigger was work and debt! It's a vicious circle for me as I worry get drunk and then feel a failure when I can't give my all at work and then get depressed cos I spent so much money and I am in debt!

It really must stop!

I can do it !

Anna

Buggirl, I think alcoholism is often a vicious cycle. We believe the false promises of alcohol, then feel ashamed and miserable and are once again vulnerable to the false promises.

I'm glad you're doing whatever you need to do to take care of yourself. And, I hope you continue to find support here at SR.

Carlotta

AA is free. We pass a donation basket (we call it 7th tradition) and if you can afford it, put a buck or two in it, if you can't don't worry: we need you more than your money.
Here is a link on what to expect at your first AA meeting
http://www.new-life-in-recovery.com/aameeting.html
Try to come in a bit early or at least on time and sit up front or at the table.
At the beginning of the meeting, they will ask if it is anyone's first meeting. Raise your hand and say your first name. Don't be embarrassed, everyone has been new once.
I would also suggest that you try different meetings until you find one at which you are very comfortable, then make it your home group.
While the format is pretty much the same, meetings really vary a LOT. What might be my cup of tea might be an absolute drag for you and vice versa.
Let us know how it went and congratulations on day one!
Today, you have a shot at a brand new life free of guilt, shame and hangovers.

FormerDrunkGuy

That's the trouble with drinking isn't it. Drinking because we are stressed about our debt, then blowing money at the pub, calling in sick for work, and making it worse. It pulls us right in doesn't it, sounds familiar to me.

Anyways good luck with AA and i could see how a sponsor could be helpful in keeping a person accountable.

Barnumb

Buggirl,

You are still here, and you are still trying. Set backs seem to be part of the process. Glad to hear you are getting back on the wagon the very next day. In my case in the past it would be a gradual slide over a couple of months of drinking to hit that "O'Crap" point of hurt or embarrassment. One day it just hits you that enough is enough and one drink leads to a whole lot of pain. You just commit to stopping with your whole soul and weather the storm. Best of luck we are all here for you!

Buggirl

Thanks agin for all the kind words and to Carlotta for the link! Useful. Got one hour until I set out for my first meeting!

Lenina

Bug, go a bot early, stay a bit late. See if you can help set up the chairs and help clean up. also, if you're comfortable, introduce yourself as a newcomer. This is so they can welcome you, it's not to shame you. If you're comfortable, if you are asked to have coffee afterwards, go. I enjoyed that part very much. And if you want, bring some cookies or such for the table. Not necessary or expected but appreciated.

good luck and let us know how it went!

Love from Lenina

PurpleKnight

Tweak your plan and go at it again, try something different, you can do this!!

ElleDee

Let us down? NO WAY! Nobody here would judge you... sheesh... I've been in your shoes more times than I care to remember. I lost count actually.

So you're back on track and have a plan. That's what matters. Hang in there. You are loved.

andyroo72

Hey Buggirl,

I'm sorry you drank, seriously don't beat yourself up :=]

I've been really cynical about AA for a long time. But I guess I'm learning :=] One really basic thing about it is that you get to spend a whole hour in the company of others committed to sobriety, just listening for the most part. For me that's pretty magical. It's like I absorb all that good sober energy. It's really energising and even on that very basic level it ramps up my ability to remain sober hugely. Take care :=]