eastboundndown

I abuse roxys and xanax. At the same time. When I wake up in the morning, If I have some, I'll hop out of bed, go have some coffee, feeling great.
If I don't have them, I'll lay in bed as long as I possibly can usually until my back hurts from laying so long.

How do I break this cycle? Did anyone else experience this?

Soberwolf

Addiction is addiction to break this cycle you must first not want to live like this no more

you break the chains with desire, acceptance, support & guidance

Sober recovery is the best website in the world

Dee74

What have you tried Eastbound?

Is rehab an option?

D

eastboundndown

Not really, I have my own business and it would shut down if I left it for a month. Then I'd have no job and probably go back to using.

Dee74

How good is it going if you're lying in bed all day tho?

D

eastboundndown

I've tried AVRT, I've tried CT, I've tried suboxone, I've tried religion and prayer.
Honestly, I have the most luck out of CT alongside religion and prayer. It just eventually gets old not having any pleasure and not enjoying anything, so I relapse. Everywhere I look I see people who are enjoying themselves or are at least content without needing drugs, and I get so down and upset because why can't I be like that?

eastboundndown

It's actually not effecting my work, other than the money I blow on drugs. I know that I have a responsibility to get up and go to work and I do it whether I feel like hell or not.

Dee74

OK...I read it like you were rolling around in pain laying in bed all day. My bad.

Thought about NA or some other meeting based recovery programme? Smart? LifeRing?

Rational Recovery has no meetings at all - might be more up your street if you're looking for a lone wolf approach?

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
D