irisgardens

For whatever reason, today is very hard.

Everything seems so complicated and confusing...cannot see anything straight...I feel lost.

I feel that I may be working on too many problems (or perceived problems) at once and I am really tight in my body which is a very bad sign of advanced stress...I am doubting everybody and everything...and wondering where my place in this world is.

Attended a naranon online meeting on Monday but having trouble getting out of the apartment for more than short periods of time...

I am going to meet a friend for lunch...and probably resisting that but I know it will help me...

I am really not clear on what to do but am doing little swoops of things as I try to gear myself for another job search...

Am completely overwhelmed...my family who I have always treasured has fallen apart with the addiction of my 4d daughter to heroin. I am working on holding boundaries as much as I can...and got some help...but I feel so low and discouraged and losing the job was the last straw.

Going to attend another online alanon meeting tonight and do a few chores...and that will be what I can do...I feel a great deal of fear and anxiety.

I have been better than this but things have gotten so I can't see light at the end of the tunnel and I am feeling despair.

zoso77

Have you considered a masseuse?

The only way I made in through my last semester of graduate school while working full time was with the help of my masseuse. The stress from that manifested itself in my neck and my shoulders, so my masseuse would really work on getting those knots to release.

Under extreme emotionally duress, that level of stress will manifest itself in my lower back, and it sucks. Thankfully, I haven't dealt with that in about 4 years.

So, consider a masseuse and make that part of your toolbox for taking care of yourself. It works. It really does.

greeteachday

I'm sorry today is particularly difficult. It sounds like you are taking steps towards finding some light. That takes lots of strength when you are feeling overwhelmed. All those steps - an online meeting, breaking down the overwhelming things into smaller pieces, posting here, meeting a friend for lunch even though you aren't sure you feel up to it are four very positive steps to get yourself back to finding you! Today has been hard, but you have accomplished things despite how hard it is!

I agree with Zoso about a massage if it is feasible. if you can't manage it within the budget, a nice hot bath or a pounding shower on those tensed muscles sounds like a good alternative. Hugs - I hope tomorrow is better.

irisgardens

that helps a lot...that i am actually doing what i can...so will keep on keeping on and thank you.