fridgey

By lies I mean defences against my hurt and pain.
I reduced myself as a target of hate to gain love and flared up ever since and every time when the lie became a truth, my hurt.
I think I mean I've been so scared all my life and all the things that meant something to me are contaminated by that, and so, meaningless.
It seems like my defence has become my reason and not my reckoning.

I find it incredibly difficult to come back into myself, the more I embrace my life as it is, I will succeed in gaining some mastery over my fear. Eventually being in a loving relationship with my equal. Hope declared.

SoberComposer

Welcome to SR Fridgey! It takes time and will but understanding the problem means you can overcome it. Accept slips as lessons, forgive your faults and keep working on it. One day, you will wake up a new person while the younger version of yourself will be a distant memory. That is how things have been for me and im still working on many things. You can do this!

PurpleKnight

For me I really needed to find some kind of contentment and acceptance of simply who I was, alcohol played a huge part in numbing a lot of things away and escaping from the real me, because I didn't really like the real me!!

In time though I think we can really work on and turn these things around.

Hang in there!!