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I really wanna do it this time!

Old 10-01-2014, 05:22 AM
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Red face I really wanna do it this time!

I have been using class A's like heroin & crack since I was 16! I have lost 3 beautiful children due to my use, even though they were all loved, cared for, fed, clean, happy etc...
I am currently prescribed 80mls of methadone daily but ideally I want to get off it. Firstly, I need to stop using illicits, which I only use once, maybe twice a week with my partner (kids dad).
We have also buried 2 beautiful baby girls which we haven't grieved over yet! If anyone here can maybe give me a bit of support and advice, I would be truly grateful! And I am always willing to help others, as usually it aids me in keeping busy and I've always loved helping others!
Thankyou guys xxx
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Old 10-01-2014, 05:33 AM
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Welcome!!! So glad you are here!
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Old 10-01-2014, 05:35 AM
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Welcome to SR! You can do this, I have no doubt about it lovewiredin.

I am sorry about the lost of your girls. Make them proud and live a sober life!
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Old 10-01-2014, 06:46 AM
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Forgive yourself...

Whilst my problem was alcohol, accepting that I suffer from the disease/illness of alcoholism and always will do and really know little or nothing about drug addiction.

I nevertheless, empathise with you on two fronts, as an addict (alcohol, despite what others might think is a drug and therefore addictive) and myself having 'lost' everything twice, although perhaps not in the conventional sense .... although it did involve a period of grieving and a slow healing process, the scars of which remain...

Without then wishing to sound trite or patronising, remembering what I went through, my advice, forgiveness, especially to others is a wonderful thing.

Even more wonderful, as it assists anyones recovery, including yours and mine, considering all you've gone or are going through, is to learn to forgive yourself....
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Old 10-01-2014, 09:37 AM
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Welcome to the Forum!!
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Old 10-01-2014, 09:43 AM
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Hi and welcome. YOu will find many people here who relate to your struggles. There is also a section specific to those who struggle form drug addiction that you may find helpful. I am sorry for what you have gone through. Wishing you great strength.
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Old 10-01-2014, 01:46 PM
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Welcome, lovewiredin. It sounds like you have experienced some terrible losses that I can't even fathom. Good for you for deciding to get clean and sober. We are here for you!
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Old 10-01-2014, 01:49 PM
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We're happy you joined us lovewiredin. I'm sorry for the pain you've experienced, but glad you want to lead a new and better life. You can get free.
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Old 10-01-2014, 01:52 PM
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Welcome, lovewiredin, to SR. You have found a very understanding and supportive place.

Your "re" line says it all:

"I really wanna do it this time!"

Is your bf ready, too?

I also tend a small grave.
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Old 10-01-2014, 02:55 PM
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Grieving, especially grieving the loss of a child/children, is very hard work; have you considered grief counseling? I can only imagine that grieving greatly complicates recovery.

I am very sorry for your profound loss.
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Old 10-01-2014, 03:17 PM
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Welcome to SR lovewiredin
You'll find a lot of support here

I'm sorry for the loss of your babies.

D
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