MavisTheFairy13

What an idiot. Had bought 2 bottles of wine on day 9 when I broke. Drank the second one last night instead of getting rid of it. Had less than 4 hours sleep, my son was up at 4am and I am so tired and a little hungover. And kicking myself. However that's it now. Definitely gonna make it to day 2 tomorrow.
And the stupid thing is my husband, who doesn't have a drink problem and was just supporting me, is now on day 11 which is what I should have been on.

Treerat66

Hi Mavis,

Come on climb back on the wagon, we've saved you a seat

Meraviglioso

Having wine in the house is a sure way to fail at sobriety- I know very well from experience!
Don't buy anymore wine, get rid of anything you do have and get back at it today. You can do this.

P.s. I also know how irritating it is when your partner decides to participate in the sobriety and of course keeps at it much better than you, the alcoholic. Been there too

luvmygirls

You're doing the best you can by starting again at day 1 and posting here. I hope you get some sleep and feel ready for a fresh start. Also, thanks for the reminder about having wine in the house (not that I should need any reminders!) It's just tempting fate.

SoberLeigh

Onward, Mavis! You can do this. I agree with the others; making your home an alcohol-free zone really helps.

Gilmer

Glad you're back. It's over now and you know what to do--please don't beat yourself up.

kirstensmith

Get the wine out of the house, and don't buy any more. This last time around, i even threw out all of my wine glasses and wine accessories. I'm on day 9. It's helped me getting EVERYTHING out of the house. It's solidifying my decision to abstain. I have had plenty of starts and stops along the way, so don't beat yourself up. Just be grateful for the days you had, and start again.

Julie59

Gilmer is right Mavis, please dont beat yourself up about it, its happened now (we've all been there I'm sure) .... one day at a time and keep checking in here at SR .....

Soberwolf

Gotta keep trying mavis

good luck

PurpleKnight

It's in the past, it can't be changed so don't beat yourself up!!

Go at it again, you can do this!!

Dee74

I agree that keeping wine around is just asking for trouble Mavis.
Do you have any support besides SR?

D

MavisTheFairy13

Thanks everyone. Drank again last night but am determined today. Maybe because it's 1st October I'm thinking it's a fresh start. No Dee haven't got any other support, apart from my husband who is now on day 12 himself! The only wine in the fridge now is a non-alcoholic one. So here we go again on day 1

Dee74

I really encourage you to build a sober bnetwork and really use it when you feel vulnerable.
and...I'd also dump the NA wine.

It's like you have 80% of your usual drinking scenario right there...just no alcohol.
You may be feeding behaviour that locks you into old patterns.

Why not try something new to drink - teas, or sparkling waters? fruit juices?

D

lillyknitting

Don't buy it. I never ever have alcohol in the house. I don't need it.

MavisTheFairy13

Yes I did wonder if alcohol free wine would just be continuing the 'habit' so to speak. I rarely go out and drinking at home is my problem, as stress relief, boredom relief, as a treat etc etc.

I'm a typical British tea drinker (although I have iot so weak the teabag hardly sees the cup) don't drink coffee, can't stand fruit or herbal teas, don't drink juice or most fizzy drinks. I have been craving root beer the past few days so have got that in the fridge too lol.

I am determined and I can do this. Just dug out my copy of Rational Recovery and started reading again.

Going away with our little boy for 4 nights next week for a forest break so lots of fresh air and walking, and no alcohol in the lodge, hubby has said he will be drink free there too.

I'm looking on my previous 8 days as a trial run now, this is the real thing

JasonNorth

Sounds like you have a wonderfully supportive husband. But it sounds like he's doing all the work? What did he say when you drank on day 9?and the following day? was he annoyed? is he making it too easy for you to fail?

Come on now Mavis. This is the real deal, you need to be tougher on yourself, for your son & for this wonderful supportive man. But most of all for you. without your own support & serious commitment this won't go anywhere.

Today is the 1st of October & make sure its the 1st of many sober days.

Today is the day for ACTION not WORDS.

Julie59

Going away with our little boy for 4 nights next week for a forest break so lots of fresh air and walking, and no alcohol in the lodge

Mavis, really enjoy that break away, have fun with your little boy and husband, spend time outside, drink heaps of water and eat healthy food. Imagine how you will feel when you get back home

meowychristmas

You can do it, Mavis. We're here for you...

MavisTheFairy13

To be honest I don't think he really grasps that I have a problem. In the past when I've tried to stop and had a wobble and asked him to go and get me a bottle of wine he's just gone and got it (along with beer for himself). I think he sees an alcoholic as someone who is physically dependent and needs a drink in a morning to get rid of the shakes etc, and someone who can't function through the day. I suppose the classic stereotype. When I told him I was going to buy wine on day 9 he did tell me not to do it, but then when he realised I was going to the shop anyway he then asked me to get him some beer (although he hasn't drunk it yet). So I feel like his support is kind of half hearted. I realise it's all down to me to do this and I need to be strong but it's hard. The slightest stress has had me reaching for a glass of wine for the past few years - and there has been a lot of stress. Just need to find another way of dealing with it..

OpenWindow

Mavis, I have a similar supporting/unsupporting partner. Reading that last post, it reads exactly like the last 6 times I tried to quit. It seems like he does not understand where I am with this and it is very easy for him to just stop for a few days or leave beer or wine sitting in the house for weeks on end, where I cannot.

I hope you can find the support you need here!