He's at it again!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Big Sandy, TN
Posts: 42
He's at it again!
I am so angry. My Dad is back to drinking again. He bought a six pack about a week ago. What is funny is that he told me. His stomach is rejecting the beer and he didn't understand why. Isn't that rich?
The thing is that I nearly allowed myself to go crazy the last time. He has nearly died two times now. The first time I picked him up and took him to the ER. The last time I left him in his own vomit and told him to dial 911. He did. I thought that was miraculous. I should have known better.
I may be wrong, but I told him today that if he continued to do this that there would be consequences. I told him I could not be a part of his life if he goes back down that road. That seemed to get his attention, but I'm no longer delusional. I'm afraid that pretty soon, I will have no father. Either because he has killed himself drinking or because he has chosen to drink. I think I know the answer to that.
I am grateful that I have this forum. It makes me feel some better for hearing your stories and sharing mine. Thank you for listening.
The thing is that I nearly allowed myself to go crazy the last time. He has nearly died two times now. The first time I picked him up and took him to the ER. The last time I left him in his own vomit and told him to dial 911. He did. I thought that was miraculous. I should have known better.
I may be wrong, but I told him today that if he continued to do this that there would be consequences. I told him I could not be a part of his life if he goes back down that road. That seemed to get his attention, but I'm no longer delusional. I'm afraid that pretty soon, I will have no father. Either because he has killed himself drinking or because he has chosen to drink. I think I know the answer to that.
I am grateful that I have this forum. It makes me feel some better for hearing your stories and sharing mine. Thank you for listening.
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Colombia
Posts: 5
Hey Lolly..
About a year ago before my mom went to re hab she suffered severe medical problems. I felt very afraid because i knew i could loose her. She stoped for a time but then relapsed. I cried, yelled, threatend but everything was worthless.
I started going to Al Anon and they told me that i had to let go and let her destroy herself if she wanted to. It was not easy, there were days i felt i couldn't stand her behavior, but for some time i did. I found traces of drugs and alcohol and didn't threw it away, found her high or drunk and didn't criticize her.
She started noticing these changes of attitude and that made her realize she was not ok. Even when we were talking and she told me that she might need help and that she might go to detox i didn't answer or push her into. I just told her that it was her decision. You imagine that, there was the chance for her to go into re hab and the only thing i said was"do what you want".
But it worked. I remember clearly how a Wednesday night she told me she had decided to go to a re hab center. My reply was "are you sure?".
It may sound crazy but i had prepared for the worst. It's better that way because as long as they are active there are just 3 endings: jail, hospitals or death.
Loly in my opinion you should let your father do what he wants and just have faith in your HP. He is the only one that can help him decide to stop hurting himself.
Good luck
Agos
About a year ago before my mom went to re hab she suffered severe medical problems. I felt very afraid because i knew i could loose her. She stoped for a time but then relapsed. I cried, yelled, threatend but everything was worthless.
I started going to Al Anon and they told me that i had to let go and let her destroy herself if she wanted to. It was not easy, there were days i felt i couldn't stand her behavior, but for some time i did. I found traces of drugs and alcohol and didn't threw it away, found her high or drunk and didn't criticize her.
She started noticing these changes of attitude and that made her realize she was not ok. Even when we were talking and she told me that she might need help and that she might go to detox i didn't answer or push her into. I just told her that it was her decision. You imagine that, there was the chance for her to go into re hab and the only thing i said was"do what you want".
But it worked. I remember clearly how a Wednesday night she told me she had decided to go to a re hab center. My reply was "are you sure?".
It may sound crazy but i had prepared for the worst. It's better that way because as long as they are active there are just 3 endings: jail, hospitals or death.
Loly in my opinion you should let your father do what he wants and just have faith in your HP. He is the only one that can help him decide to stop hurting himself.
Good luck
Agos
Member
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Victoria,B.C.Canada
Posts: 46
Hi lolly112166
Welcome to the site and to recovery.
I to get mad at my dad because he uses too and other things and I have going though a lost with because I want the father love and I can't get it from him so it makes me mad. So I had to let him go because I am tried of the abuse and he could never look at his part of the relationship. So I need to look after myself and but my enery to my fanily and not him because he was dranning me. I was know good for my family. I just went though all of this in the last 2 months. It hurt me alot to let go of him. I had to do it or I could have gone out using again. It was a big open wound for me and I couldn't go there but for me to get better I had to and look at all of me feelings around my dad.
I had also ask myself is he going to change and the answer for me was no. So I have to change and I had to stop calling,e-mailing him because it was just hurting me and my family. Sorry I didn't responded to your message because when I say you wrote about your dad I couldn't answer you then because I was going though the same thing and it was to painfull for me to look at it. So I hope this helps you and have a great dad. If you did to talk to me just e-mail and we can set up a time to chat. GOD BLESS
SAngelfive
Welcome to the site and to recovery.
I to get mad at my dad because he uses too and other things and I have going though a lost with because I want the father love and I can't get it from him so it makes me mad. So I had to let him go because I am tried of the abuse and he could never look at his part of the relationship. So I need to look after myself and but my enery to my fanily and not him because he was dranning me. I was know good for my family. I just went though all of this in the last 2 months. It hurt me alot to let go of him. I had to do it or I could have gone out using again. It was a big open wound for me and I couldn't go there but for me to get better I had to and look at all of me feelings around my dad.
I had also ask myself is he going to change and the answer for me was no. So I have to change and I had to stop calling,e-mailing him because it was just hurting me and my family. Sorry I didn't responded to your message because when I say you wrote about your dad I couldn't answer you then because I was going though the same thing and it was to painfull for me to look at it. So I hope this helps you and have a great dad. If you did to talk to me just e-mail and we can set up a time to chat. GOD BLESS
SAngelfive
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Big Sandy, TN
Posts: 42
Thank all of you for your replies! I am so lucky to have found this forum.
In the past few days, I have tried with all of my might to "let go and let God". It is very hard. BUT, I had a conversation with him 3 days ago and told him he could not call me after he had the 1st drink. The A affects him strongly and it only succeeds in hurting me. So, for now, he has abided my wishes. He calls me first thing in the morning and then I don't hear from him all day. Friday, I found a meeting place in my area. I will go to my first meeting on Tuesday. I am very excited. I want so to feel better. I have to take care of me...I know this as I was in active AA about 12 years ago. The great thing is that I have been sober since then, and have had no desire to drink during this episode with Dad. I thank God every day for sustaining me. I owe it all to Him!
In the past few days, I have tried with all of my might to "let go and let God". It is very hard. BUT, I had a conversation with him 3 days ago and told him he could not call me after he had the 1st drink. The A affects him strongly and it only succeeds in hurting me. So, for now, he has abided my wishes. He calls me first thing in the morning and then I don't hear from him all day. Friday, I found a meeting place in my area. I will go to my first meeting on Tuesday. I am very excited. I want so to feel better. I have to take care of me...I know this as I was in active AA about 12 years ago. The great thing is that I have been sober since then, and have had no desire to drink during this episode with Dad. I thank God every day for sustaining me. I owe it all to Him!
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