I'm back and dug myself deeper
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 199
I'm back and dug myself deeper
Hello Friends,
Back on board and almost at 24 hours. Haven't had a long period sober since July. 32 years old female, falling deeper into alcoholism hopefully reaching my low this past weekend....drinking before 8 am mass following missing two days of work. Disgusting...
I hope others are doing better than I have been
Back on board and almost at 24 hours. Haven't had a long period sober since July. 32 years old female, falling deeper into alcoholism hopefully reaching my low this past weekend....drinking before 8 am mass following missing two days of work. Disgusting...
I hope others are doing better than I have been
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 16
I am also a 32 year old female, falling deeper and hoping last weekend was rock bottom.
If you're anything like me, I'm beating myself up pretty badly to the point where I'm physically kind of sick feeling.
I have a history of binge drinking on the weekends - usually drink the following morning to combat withdrawals. I too feel disgusting.
If you're anything like me, I'm beating myself up pretty badly to the point where I'm physically kind of sick feeling.
I have a history of binge drinking on the weekends - usually drink the following morning to combat withdrawals. I too feel disgusting.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 199
hopefullylost, I sure understand that! I joined first in 2011, didn't have a serious try at sobriety until September 2013, and didn't post until June this year scared of my own actions. Isn't it amazing how difficult and complex "simply" not drinking can be....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 199
Wastinglife, I totally understand. I have wanted to do the same thing. The funny thing is there NEVER seems to be a long enough time to drink/sleep and feel no more rested. UGH
I mean what kind of person drinks before 8 AM MASS GOOD LORD HELP ME HELP MYSELF
I mean what kind of person drinks before 8 AM MASS GOOD LORD HELP ME HELP MYSELF
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Newfighter, welcome back.
You can do this, but you need to decide for yourself that you are ready. In your post, you say that "hopefully reaching my low this past weekend"...
If you don't think you have reached a low, or are preparing yourself for a new low then you have already made the decision to drink again. Our AV works that way, it will take any opening it can get to convince you to drink again.
You don't need to hit the lowest of low points to stop drinking for good. Each time I hit a new low, I still convinced myself to drink again until i topped the previous low. It can be a life destructive cycle that ends in death, if you don't stop the pattern.
You CAN do this and have the power to not drink again. It know it is easier said than done, but you can do it. It does get easier with time. Just don't pick up the first drink, not today, not again...
Congratulations on just about making it 24 hours; one hour at a time, you can do it.
Best wishes.
You can do this, but you need to decide for yourself that you are ready. In your post, you say that "hopefully reaching my low this past weekend"...
If you don't think you have reached a low, or are preparing yourself for a new low then you have already made the decision to drink again. Our AV works that way, it will take any opening it can get to convince you to drink again.
You don't need to hit the lowest of low points to stop drinking for good. Each time I hit a new low, I still convinced myself to drink again until i topped the previous low. It can be a life destructive cycle that ends in death, if you don't stop the pattern.
You CAN do this and have the power to not drink again. It know it is easier said than done, but you can do it. It does get easier with time. Just don't pick up the first drink, not today, not again...
Congratulations on just about making it 24 hours; one hour at a time, you can do it.
Best wishes.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 199
SoberLeigh, honestly no. I have made an appointment to start seeing a therapist again (Wednesday)
I made a real go of it in July, seeing a therapist for the first time, posting here, and telling my husband and best friend I believed I am an alcoholic.
What else have you found helpful? I don't think that meetings would be possible for me in the profession I am in a small town
I made a real go of it in July, seeing a therapist for the first time, posting here, and telling my husband and best friend I believed I am an alcoholic.
What else have you found helpful? I don't think that meetings would be possible for me in the profession I am in a small town
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 16
I am definitely scared of my actions when I drink. I don't want to hurt anyone including myself. Getting blackout is far to easy these days. Part of me still thinks I can get this under control and limit my intake. I think I'm lying to myself though and I guess that's why I'm here...desperate, alone and shaking.
Did you have a "plan" when you did stop before? What do you think you need to change this time around?
Did you have a "plan" when you did stop before? What do you think you need to change this time around?
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Originally Posted by NewFighter 
Isn't it amazing how difficult and complex "simply" not drinking can be....
And, I think it's so much more than just 'not drinking' and that's the complex part. For me, it meant dealing with issues I had been drowning in alcohol for most of 3 years. I was so afraid to face things head-on, but I was more afraid of my alcoholism.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 383
New,
"Relapse" - returning to regular use is part of the process for a lot of people. It could be just a "lapse" you're in too, which is using (drinking) when you didn't want to, then recommitting shortly thereafter.
You obviously want to change and that's great! Taking action is the next step from considering a change, and you've done that by scheduling an appointment with a therapist. Congrats - many people never get that far.
It will help until your appointment if can go easy on yourself. One major mechanism that can trigger the desire to drink is self pity and self loathing. Trust me, I know all about it
But in truth, you're not alone, or a loser, or pathetic... etc. If you are an alcoholic, you simply have a drinking disorder that is treatable. If you had measles you wouldn't hate yourself, right? Well this is no different. Try this therapist with an open mind and do your best to stay sober today. Don't worry about Tuesday or Wednesday. If you can't do a meeting due to small town life, try googling the AA big book and read the first few chapters. If something in there doesn't help you out I'd be surprised. Hang in there.
"Relapse" - returning to regular use is part of the process for a lot of people. It could be just a "lapse" you're in too, which is using (drinking) when you didn't want to, then recommitting shortly thereafter.
You obviously want to change and that's great! Taking action is the next step from considering a change, and you've done that by scheduling an appointment with a therapist. Congrats - many people never get that far.
It will help until your appointment if can go easy on yourself. One major mechanism that can trigger the desire to drink is self pity and self loathing. Trust me, I know all about it
But in truth, you're not alone, or a loser, or pathetic... etc. If you are an alcoholic, you simply have a drinking disorder that is treatable. If you had measles you wouldn't hate yourself, right? Well this is no different. Try this therapist with an open mind and do your best to stay sober today. Don't worry about Tuesday or Wednesday. If you can't do a meeting due to small town life, try googling the AA big book and read the first few chapters. If something in there doesn't help you out I'd be surprised. Hang in there. Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by NewFighter
I don't think that meetings would be possible for me in the profession I am in a small town
The main fear people have is being "found out". But the reality is that people already know you are a drunk, no matter how hard you try to hide it. Wouldn't you rather be known as a recovering alcoholic rather than a practicing one?
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 1,305
Welcome back, newfighter! I've drank in the morning, too. Man, it's just terrible, isn't it?
You've gotten some good advice already. Please keep posting as much as possible. We can lean on each other.
P.S. I love your avatar picture...one of my favorites on Pinterest.
You've gotten some good advice already. Please keep posting as much as possible. We can lean on each other.
P.S. I love your avatar picture...one of my favorites on Pinterest.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
32 year old male. Had a new low last Sunday... started drinking early and just kept it up until I felt sick. Aint no fun. But I am now on day 8 and I feel fantastic about myself and the choices I made over the weekend. Granted I probably had too many sodas but I needed something other than water for when I would normally be drinking booze. I'll work on the soda thing but later. Now its time to concentrate on no booze.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Staffordshire, UK
Posts: 712
Originally Posted by soberwolf
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