razor15

I've been sober a little over three weeks and I feel very positive about my chances. Very certain I can and will do this forever.

At the same time I read about all the relapse experiences and difficulties some are having and I think I am severely underestimating things.

I have read references to the pink cloud period or as I'd maybe call it, the sobriety honeymoon. Is this what I'm in, and my confidence is misguided? I believe I am a positive person by nature and with the absence of alcohol this is beginning to shine again, but I have this feeling lately I may be fooling myself into a false sense of security.

I am trying to be strong, positive, kind...all those good things, but am I tricking myself? Will I relapse as soon as my guard is let down? Is this really forever?

Shared experiences in this early period would be appreciated. Thank you as always my SR friends.

MarathonMan

Confidence is a good thing, it gives you the umph to push through the bad bits as you have faith in your own ability to deal with the situations you're facing.

I think the over analysing and picking everything apart a lot of us do doesn't help people in recovery a lot of the time. If you feel confident and happy then go with it. If you start convincing yourself it should be worse than it is you can pretty much guarantee that it will make it harder. It's like knowing you should be hungry because you've not ate since breakfast, you may not feel hungry but if you keep concentrating on it you will soon.

I'm on 20 days and doing ok too, we should be happy we got the easy ride.....just stay vigilant that your head doesn't start telling you that it must mean you were never an alcoholic in the first place.

Anna

I'm glad you're doing well and feel confident. Relapse does not have to occur.

I think we should never underestimate the relentlessness this disease though.

razor15

[QUOTE=MarathonMan;4925565]

I'm on 20 days and doing ok too, we should be happy we got the easy ride.....just stay vigilant that your head doesn't start telling you that it must mean you were never an alcoholic in the first place.[/QUOTE

Thank you, MM. I don't think this could ever be possible. After 20 years, and the last 7 being particularly heavy, I am an alcoholic. After countless days of a couple of bottles of wine or a 26'er of vodka...I have conceded that this is not normal and I was not in any control at all.

MarathonMan

[QUOTE=razor15;4925587] You should be as confident as you can to help you through the struggles as long as you keep the quote above in the back of your mind for the honeyed words of your AV should he arise then no reason you shouldn't be ok. After all we've done the hardest part (fingers crossed).

countrygirl2014

Don't compare yourself to others. Your head is going to start saying stupid stuff like "I don't really have a problem" and "I'm not as bad as those people so I can still drink"
This is a nasty sneaky little thing that doesn't just jump when you are down...it jumps when you are up too.

airwick

I've been sober 6 months, I NEVER let my guard down. I've seen relapse after relapse being posted. That path will remain unknown to me. Don't gain too much confidence; it can easily be shattered and taken away quicker then the blink of an eye. As I've seen written so many times: " It's not going to be easy, but it's going to be worth it"

*Still would like to find the author of that quote"

biminiblue

This site by its nature is going to include a lot of relapse stories. Maybe they weren't ready. Maybe they didn't believe they needed to quit. Maybe they felt they need to lose a little more (I know, right?)

I ran into the same in AA - lots of relapse in the rooms. Constant relapse stories.

I was done when I was done. Sure, the crazy thoughts come and go, but I will not act on them.

The Pink Cloud for me was at two plus months. I literally experienced euphoria as my brain was becoming normal.

razor15

Yes, it comes at you from both sides. Insidious. Thank you countrygirl. I wish you well too getting back up there again. We all know you can do it!

razor15

Thanks. I relate to the feeling this time around that I'm actually done. I don't think I was honest previously with myself, in that I knew other periods of sobriety were really just breaks. I had not made the choice I needed to make. That is the difference this time. I will be very diligent though. Very diligent.

luvmygirls

It's hard to say. I tried to quit drinking once before, six years ago. I lasted about 9 months. When I picked up again, it wasn't something dramatic, like "I was never an alcoholic! I will now drink again." It was actually very casual. I went to a party and decided I wanted a glass of red wine, and off I went, very slowly and gradually drinking even more heavily than before. I know more now, and I'm humbler now. My drinking has brought me to darker places than before...I hope I never drink again. But I also know that hope is not a strategy. I know I need to do things differently this time, be more honest with myself and others. Best of luck to you Razor, and everyone.

Hobbers

I wish I had one of those at some point.... jealous here, hahaha!

MyTime86

Congrats on the 3 weeks. Keep your foot on the gas rough times are ahead, you just gotta push through it gets better in time

ArtFriend

I think if it was easy to quit then there would be no need for this forum, AA, rehab centers, Dr. Phil etc. I have great respect for the addictive qualities of alcohol. I have seen way to many people fall into it's power, myself included.

PurpleKnight

Keep pushing through Razor!! 3 Weeks is fantastic!!

ccam1973

Razor, 3 weeks is great. I remember thinking the same thing in late May. I had read a post of someone realizing that they might not need SR forever, that they might just be able to check in every once in a while to see how everybody was doing since they felt so strong.

I think each person and their recovery patterns are extremely different. I did let my guard down after 30 days sober in late May. I spent the next 30 days drinking around the clock. After 21 years of heavy daily drinking, it didn't take long to pick up my old habits again...

This time around, i'm 84 days in today and not letting my guard down, not today, not tomorrow, not next month. My AV will seize any little opportunity to get me to drink again. I will stay as close to SR as i need each day to remain sober.

Some days I feel extremely strong and am happy for those days, but others I feel like having a drink... well not just a drink, I feel like getting drunk. I don't think those thoughts or feelings will ever completely go away...

You are doing great. Feel good about your confidence but continue to keep your guard up. Life is so much better sober, and it only takes one drink to turn our world upside down again.

Best wishes!