Inchworm

The last two days have been quite melancholy for me. I feel so vulnerable and defensive. Not sleeping well which is odd because my sleep has been stellar since sobriety. I don't like my husband at all and he hasn't really done a thing and, in fact, has been very kind. I'll be fine one minute and very much less so the next. And ....this is the worst.... I feel so apathetic about things. I've been reading posts on SR and don't feel I have anything to say to folks. I feel as if I might contaminate them. 39 days. What is happening?

Jupiters

hey inchworm - funny you should post this as I am feeling the same way today. I woke up just feeling pretty miserable about, well...everything. I've had my ups n downs for sure the last 4 months but for the most part, have been feeling good. Today, after a wretched sleep (AGAIN), I feel like I just want to crawl under a rock. I have a day full of people where I have to be pleasant when it's the last thing I feel right now.

Hang in...this too shall pass. LOL

Dee74

Hi inchworm

it's not uncommon to lose a little momentum and to plateau out a little...the headiness and novelty of being sober can wear off...

How much change has your life undergone? are you still essentially living your old life or not?

This could a good time to start looking at what you want your sober life to be like?

I'm not a Dr, but it's also possible you may be experiencing PAWs.

Take a look at this link and see what you think?

PAWS | Digital Dharma

above all - don;t panic - this is all very normal and it does not mean you're doomed to relapse or anything like that

D

Justwokeup

Hello, I am on the same roller coaster at just past 60 days. I read the article Dee recommended on PAWS and my ups and downs are typical symptoms. At first I could not understand why I did not feel great every day but now realize many years of abusing my body and mind are not going to mend overnight. Do not stress, just take each day as it comes and know it will get better. Good wishes coming your way.

luvmygirls

After looking at that link, I'm scared that the symptoms typically peak around 30-60 days, when I am struggling on Day 12!

IOAA2

Hi.
I understand the rise and fall of our emotions when new and it’s something many need to accept and work on. When we think about all the things we did for long time periods taking various drugs is it any wonder that sobriety is work in progress?
It takes that four letter word TIME to progress.
Remember when is a phrase I find useful so I don’t repeat my past undisciplined behavior.

BE WELL

SoberLeigh

I will be thinking about you today, Inchworm, and all of you. I DO remember feeling the way you describe when I was early in recovery.

Just keep powering through; these days will pass, one at a time; you will pass through this phase; just don't give up.

And, while you are powering, be gentle to yourself; there is nothing easy about recovery.

MavisTheFairy13

Sounds like you are suffering from depression. Especially the feeling apathetic. Might be worth a trip to your doctor to discuss how you are feeling if it continues. Well done on day 39 that is such an amazing achievement. Gives me hope

Inchworm

I'm off to work. I peeked at the article you mentioned, Dee, and will read it more thoroughly when I can at lunch time. It occurs to me in a very heart felt way that after spending simply years in a dishonest and unreal state of being that there will need to be some major overhauls. This weekend was hard but not unmanageable.

Love to all of you today.