killerinstinct

Feeling depressed just thinking about it all.. I gave my heart to someone who didn't even care about me.. I'm so sad and don't know how I'll ever get over the heartache.. He never cared ever.. and I'm the one left to pick up the pieces. I'm so sad I meant nothing to him.. If I did he wouldn't be with someone else.. He wouldn't have left me with a baby. I'm so hurt.

redatlanta

Killer - So sorry you are feeling depressed.

Most of us have made the mistake of giving our heart's to someone who didn't appreciate it. Unfortunately that is a common symptom of being a co-dependent, trying to make a square peg fit in a a round hole. Trying to fix someone else. Trying to make someone have a better life.

The first step in the process to heal is to work on forgiving yourself for putting yourself in this position. I'm sure there were red flags. I'm sure it was more often than not an uphill battle, I'm sure you fought hard. In hindsight you might have done things differently.

Leopard's don't change their spots, the new woman is simply the new victim. Regardless of how it may be portrayed to you, there probably isn't much different about the new relationship versus the one you had with him. He is a serial cheater and an abuser. He is an addict. He changed geography, but the person remains the same.

Right now its hard to see, but there will come a day that he will just "be someone you used to know". There will be a day that you will be relieved you escaped a nightmare, there will be a day you won't feel bad that he didn't accept your love; rather, relief that he did not and that you and your child are free of his insanity.

dandylion

Killerinstinct....you are obviously mourning the loss of the relationship. You are grieving and depressed is one of the many feelings that come with this. This is normal for the situation.

It will not remain this way. This is short-term pain....a necessary part of the bigger healing process.

The most important thing for you...don't let your past ruin your future.

dandylion

Lifeishard

Hi I agree with redatlanta. Leopards do not change their spots. My ex left me for an alcoholic woman. When I found out he told me to die and that she was a great gf unlike me... The mother of his kids and wife. She was everything to him. I am in strict no contact with exah, however I was told in Saturday by one of his friends that the alcoholic gf had dumped him as she 'caught him in the act' of cheating. And since that loads of people have told me.

So there was me thinking she was everything to him. Clearly not! No idea whether this new girl is now his gf or was a one night stand. My ex will clearly move from woman to woman and he cares nothing for them. Was it all worth losing his wife and kids for?

I am glad I am out of it. His alcoholism and women are escalating. He isn't the husband I loved. Don't assume he wants this other woman. She may be there to keep him company as he simply can't be on his own.

NYCDoglvr

I assume you're talking about an alcoholic. If it helps, alcoholics are incapable of having a good relationship and typically any relationship. If you're out of it (and I know it's a process), work on yourself to ensure you pick better next time. At the end I was so hurt and burned out I worked an Alanon program to change myself. An excellent investment of time.