Ready to learn to LIVE again!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Port Arthur TX
Posts: 9
Ready to learn to LIVE again!
Ok,
Hello all. This is my first post. I'm 31, have a beautiful wife of almost 8 years and 2 wonderful children that drive me crazy on a daily basis but I love it!
I have been drinking since I was 14. At least 12 a day, every day. I have quit several times, longest being for 1 year. Guess what, my alcohol brain convinced me that I could have a drink to celebrate that milestone. I have finally realized that I can't do this on my own and so have enlisted the help of my insanely supportive wife and will be making a Dr. appt soon. My problem,as i'm sure some others have, is that when I stop a life event will send me into depression and the drink is how I fix it. Will the Dr. be able to prescribe something to combat this? I don't want to be this way anymore. I owe it to my family and myself to get better. Thank you in advance and I look forward to becoming a part of SR!
Hello all. This is my first post. I'm 31, have a beautiful wife of almost 8 years and 2 wonderful children that drive me crazy on a daily basis but I love it!
I have been drinking since I was 14. At least 12 a day, every day. I have quit several times, longest being for 1 year. Guess what, my alcohol brain convinced me that I could have a drink to celebrate that milestone. I have finally realized that I can't do this on my own and so have enlisted the help of my insanely supportive wife and will be making a Dr. appt soon. My problem,as i'm sure some others have, is that when I stop a life event will send me into depression and the drink is how I fix it. Will the Dr. be able to prescribe something to combat this? I don't want to be this way anymore. I owe it to my family and myself to get better. Thank you in advance and I look forward to becoming a part of SR!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
we're very similar, you and I. Except that I'm 41. 31 was two wives and two DUIs ago.
So pat yourself on the back because you're at least way ahead of me in coming to accpetance!!
You can do this. You had a year so you know you can do it. Now, bolster yourself with a comprehensive plan and keep on hangin' out with us here because we're here to help one another.
here are some thoughts that I keep sharing on threads which keep seeming like appropriate places for a repost;
"...generally, for me anyway, THE PLAN includes these components;
What will I do instead of drinking - SPECIFICALLY?
What will I drink in settings where alcohol is present - Definite and specific alternatives!
What will I SAY to people that doesn't make me feel uncomfortable, when offered alcohol or asked about my not drinking? SPECIFIC, REHEARSED responses
What resources will I rely on to help me honor my choice of sobriety and remember why I made it? (AA, Big Book Study, Calls to a sponsor or friends in recovery, SR posting and reading, therapy, etc).
How often will I do these things?
What will be the signs that I need to step it up because my sobriety is being challenged? How - SPECIFICALLY - will I respond?
What will I say to my family?
How broadly will I discuss my choice of sobriety? Do I need different "levels" of sharing? What specifically will I say for each level?
Service work is important - how will I give back in life? Specific actions.
What new interests and activities will I focus on?
Whether or not I'm "working steps" - what areas of my life need attention (beyond just not drinking) - and what actions will I take?? (e.g. cleaning up debts, making up with people I've hurt, forgiving myself, forgiving others...)
What will I do to cultivate my own sense of spirituality, belief or faith in SOMETHING?
There are probably lots more areas but the bottom line is that when we say "Have a PLAN" - we mean going through all of these types of questions and issues and getting very clear and specific for ourselves on WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO.
Sobriety means action. It means changing our habits and our ways of dealing with and responding to life. It usually means re-wiring ourselves after years and decades of patterns we've formed.
Just don't drink - that's only the removal of the toxin and the main 'culprit' that got us here. But once that's set aside, the real work begins. Life just doesn't suddenly get rosy and we're cured and move on in bliss and utopia because we stuck the plug in the jug"
So pat yourself on the back because you're at least way ahead of me in coming to accpetance!!
You can do this. You had a year so you know you can do it. Now, bolster yourself with a comprehensive plan and keep on hangin' out with us here because we're here to help one another.
here are some thoughts that I keep sharing on threads which keep seeming like appropriate places for a repost;
"...generally, for me anyway, THE PLAN includes these components;
What will I do instead of drinking - SPECIFICALLY?
What will I drink in settings where alcohol is present - Definite and specific alternatives!
What will I SAY to people that doesn't make me feel uncomfortable, when offered alcohol or asked about my not drinking? SPECIFIC, REHEARSED responses
What resources will I rely on to help me honor my choice of sobriety and remember why I made it? (AA, Big Book Study, Calls to a sponsor or friends in recovery, SR posting and reading, therapy, etc).
How often will I do these things?
What will be the signs that I need to step it up because my sobriety is being challenged? How - SPECIFICALLY - will I respond?
What will I say to my family?
How broadly will I discuss my choice of sobriety? Do I need different "levels" of sharing? What specifically will I say for each level?
Service work is important - how will I give back in life? Specific actions.
What new interests and activities will I focus on?
Whether or not I'm "working steps" - what areas of my life need attention (beyond just not drinking) - and what actions will I take?? (e.g. cleaning up debts, making up with people I've hurt, forgiving myself, forgiving others...)
What will I do to cultivate my own sense of spirituality, belief or faith in SOMETHING?
There are probably lots more areas but the bottom line is that when we say "Have a PLAN" - we mean going through all of these types of questions and issues and getting very clear and specific for ourselves on WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO.
Sobriety means action. It means changing our habits and our ways of dealing with and responding to life. It usually means re-wiring ourselves after years and decades of patterns we've formed.
Just don't drink - that's only the removal of the toxin and the main 'culprit' that got us here. But once that's set aside, the real work begins. Life just doesn't suddenly get rosy and we're cured and move on in bliss and utopia because we stuck the plug in the jug"
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Welcome Dad2LandC
If your Dr agrees you're depressed I'm sure they be able to help.
Outside of that, the more challenging life events I met sober, the less I feared them and the more capable I found I was.
The fear of those events happening, and the fear of the emotions they produced was for me far greater than the reality.
I had to learn to sit with discomfort and fear - it's not an easy thing to do, but it is possible - there's a ton of support here too. No one has to do this one their own
D
If your Dr agrees you're depressed I'm sure they be able to help.
Outside of that, the more challenging life events I met sober, the less I feared them and the more capable I found I was.
The fear of those events happening, and the fear of the emotions they produced was for me far greater than the reality.
I had to learn to sit with discomfort and fear - it's not an easy thing to do, but it is possible - there's a ton of support here too. No one has to do this one their own
D
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