roguedreams

The thread about the "walk of shame" from grocery stores somehow reminded me of a similar type of awkwardness around sobriety and recovery.

So I had a long (good) phone conversation with a friend of mine the other night. At the end, he was suggesting we meet up for dinner early next week.

"So we could go to [x restaurant] and get some dinner and drinks... I mean, uh..." you can hear him fumbling his words over the phone.

"Ahaha, you're fine, B.!" I said, laughing.

But he was truly mortified, like he'd triggered some major relapse or something.

"I mean ... uh, ice cream?"

At that point I lost it entirely. I was literally laid back on the floor, laughing my patootie off. Poor fellow. He meant well.

Anyone else have similar stories? And how have you dealt with the inevitable slip of the lip (from friends and fam) or whatnot?

Hawks

I got a lot of bottles of scotch one birthday.

My cards weren't on the table at that stage.

But they all knew exactly what I loved lol

Dee74

Mostly my friends (still, seven years on) are at pains to tell me how much they don't drink or do drugs anymore..

I feel like absolving them of their sins sometimes...fix them with a grave stare and a comforting hand on the shoulder - 'go in peace, my son'...

but...no.

D

Hawks

Father Dee.

Better than Father Jack.

Change4good

Only my immediate circle knows about my alcoholism, and one friend truly doesn't get it. Others have peripheral experience, and know the ins and outs of this.

BTW, I would love to go out for ice cream. :-)

jdooner

Paying homage to the elephant in the room, I find to be helpful. If they are close, I use it as an opportunity to talk.

Given I have lost 50lbs and am in the best shape in over 20 years the conversation is usually, "JD you look great, what have you done....how long are you going to do this for?" I always love the last part, hat you are doing is working, so when are you going to go back to bad habits, lol.

Anyhow, for a while sobriety and recovery were my life, just as addiction took over my life while active. Lately I have developed so many new interests that I can segue into my other interests too.

I also find there are those friends really concerned themselves. They are defensive about the changes I have made and for them, I don't psychoanalyze them or provide any insight, I just try to be a beacon and if one day they chose to change then maybe they will know where they can turn.

Glad you had a good laugh...laughter is quite healthy!

sprout50

Great thread! No experience with this yet but getting my morning laugh!

readerbaby71

That is funny. I'd appreciate the fact that cares about you and is trying to be aware of respecting your decision not to drink anymore. I know so many people who minimized my problem because they had no idea what I was doing at home.

Soberwolf

Hi Rouge

that made me chuckle poor chap i could imagine u laughing lol

when i was on the floorlaying course a guy said one lunch break come on il get you a beer i replied thanks but i dont drink (forgot some ppl socilise likethis lol)

then one morning the assistant tutor offered me a shot of hungarian expensive (you dam right) alcohol

at 9am he was hungarian and his dad sent it over he didnt know but i said no i dont drink

it was in a shot glass ready to drink

not fazed i know i dont drink

as for being expensive yes it will cost me my gf my home my sanity my family my appitite my wellbeing it will cost me everything i care about

the true cost of alcohol isnt on the price tag

WritingFromLife

One year into a 2 year sober stint of mine several years ago, my precious friends (who are "high functioning" career women that drink heavily) threw me a bday party at a local restaurant. There were 20 people at one table. I arrived late. Not a single one had a drink. All water or tea. I found out later they didn't deem it appropriate to drink around me--they were trying to support me. I will also add this entire group thought I was nuts about not drinking--when I initially quit, they were all shocked and stunned that I would consider myself a heavy drinker!

Avice

Funny story...ice cream! Nice save.

Dee, that's possibly the funniest thing I've read on the forum so far.

Yes, I've had this experience. One of my friends was talking to a guy who works in emergency detox. Here's the conversation...

Him: I was talking to him and he told me that they need to keep giving people alcohol while they're quitting. Up to a bottle of wine sometimes.
Me: Yes, it can be dangerous to quit all at once. You can actually have seizures and even die if you quit suddenly.
Him: So...I understand if you have to drink once in a while...
Me: (At 2 1/2 weeks sober) No. I really don't need to now.

I guess he wasn't clear on the whole withdrawal process! I thought it was kind of funny, but I didn't laugh cause I knew he was just trying to understand.

SoberLeigh

Funny story, rogue; thanks. Your friend sounds like a good guy; at least he was paying attention and had your interests at heart!

GracieLou

When I first got sober I had two friends that I did not talk to very often but when I did I would get the “So, are you still not drinking?” and when I relied yes, I am still sober, it was followed by the “Yeah, I have cut down, cut back, drink less now too” statements....LOL

The one told me “Kudos to you for not drinking”. He said this with a beer in his hand.

The other one says things like “I like my life, I am glad it works for you though, I don’t need anything like that, I am happy….”. I don’t ask or make any comments to him at all about his drinking. He just felt the need to justify.

bunnezjp

I still say things like "Let's meet for a drink" or "I'm out of diet ****, gonna run and get a 6-pack", even though the context has totally changed.

Bunnez

Fly N Buy

Hysterical!

As newly sober - day 110 (but who's counting) I get the look at this point - Wow, you're not drinking!! Sound the alarms!! - Holy Alter Ego Batman!! Are you ok?????

No one asked me this when I was ripped.....

Change4good

Yes. This made my morning.