Notices

When is this going away?

Old 09-25-2014, 04:29 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
When is this going away?

Hola everybody: I am home alone with my daughter. I will be alone for a couple of days. She's already in bed and it is so weird that the first thing that came to my mind is "You could have a drink, nobody would know. Just a couple, it's an easy day tomorrow at work". I'm NOT going to do it but, when are these thoughts going to go away? And once they are in it is like I obsess about thinking about it. I am also going to a bachelorette party this weekend but I know I'm gonna be okay with that it is right now because nobody would find out that I would drink.

When is my thought process going to change? I can't help what pops into my mind. I hate it.
Nowsthetime is offline  
Old 09-25-2014, 04:33 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
SoberLeigh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,775
For me those thoughts lessened with time. Do you follow any kind of a program other than SR?
SoberLeigh is online now  
Old 09-25-2014, 04:35 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
I logged on here whenever I felt especially alone and left to my own devices. The good camaraderie and advice filled the void.
Gilmer is offline  
Old 09-25-2014, 04:39 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,043
I have to be honest, they took a long time to go away for me.
They got easier and easier to deal with though

I did learn, pretty quickly, that having the thoughts and acting on them were two different things.

nobody would find out that I would drink.
Thats not the issue tho. YOU would know.

It doesn't make it less tragic that noone else would know...it makes it more tragic.

Whatever support you have, use it

If you think you need more there a range of face to face recovery approaches that could help?

There are a lot of cravings strategies too - I particularly recommend urge surfing for realising that we can think it., but we don't need to act on it

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 09-25-2014, 04:40 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
For some people it fades with time, for some, the obsession remains.

Time will tell if you don't drink for long enough to find out which type you are.
Hawks is offline  
Old 09-25-2014, 04:42 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 567
"You could have a drink, nobody would know.
Had exactly the same thought and no support anywhere at the time.
I just thought the opposite, closed my eyes ( this was in a very crowded public place) and thought the word, "God".
Sat down, had a coffee and the impulse and thoughts of drink eventually evaporated. Then other good things happened till the end of the day and just glad I did not act on the drink thought.
My mind still tries to "trick" me, but the "nobody would know" trick has never repeated itself since that moment.
I know, it comes out of nowhere, the alcoholic mind will do this.
Pete55 is offline  
Old 09-25-2014, 04:44 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Do your best
 
Soberwolf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I have to be honest, they took a long time to go away for me.
They got easier and easier to deal with though

I did learn, pretty quickly, that having the thoughts and acting on them were two different things.



Thats not the issue tho. YOU would know.

It doesn't make it less tragic that noone else would know...it makes it more tragic.

D
It also makes it tragic that you think you think no one else would know like ...really ?

my av and ego want to kill me

well said D
Soberwolf is offline  
Old 09-25-2014, 04:59 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
It's effed up. I know I'm never drinking again. I am serious. It's just a little sickening that in my mind it would come up, the "nobody would know". I would know. Im just a little surprised now that I recognize my AV. It's weird. Before I would say things like "what does it matter if I have a couple drinks here and there everybody else drinks" or "I deserve this drink because of blah blah blah....". I think about the second to last time I drank on my baby's 3rd bday (after she went down)and then the last a week later when I tried to moderate and blacked out and walked and took a cab and don't even remember getting home (I was home alone that night). I feel disgusted and scared. I feel so happy sober and I mention it a lot to people but it is just strange to get these thoughts. It makes me almost disappointed at myself but I keep saying that I can't help what pops into my head I can only help but I actually do.

I only do SR and haven't been to any AA meeting or anything like that. I did have to do a alcohol treatment program for the DUI I got back into thousand and two.
Nowsthetime is offline  
Old 09-25-2014, 05:01 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,043
If you think you need more support there's a lot of programmes available

here's some links to some of the main players, including but not limited to AA:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 09-25-2014, 05:04 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
AA member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: United Kingdom.
Posts: 3,007
The longer you remain sober the less you will think about Alcohol.

For me it took a few months,everybody is different,post here on SR if the thoughts get overwhelming.I attend AA,in my early days I had a long list of people I could call.
heath480 is offline  
Old 09-25-2014, 05:04 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Thanks for the link Dee. I'll check it out.
Nowsthetime is offline  
Old 09-25-2014, 05:05 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,043
It's a whole buncha links but you might find something there that appeals

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 09-25-2014, 05:06 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Our addiction is like some friggin critter in our brain. I'm just over 3 months sober and it still makes it's appearances but mostly when I'm in some sort of emotional duress. Sobriety is all about "tangling" with it and getting on through to the other side. As times passes it loses its voice. I think it's probably best that we accept that it's gonna live there like an annoying neighbor for awhile. Eventually it doesn't bother you anymore..it gives up.
Nuudawn is offline  
Old 09-25-2014, 05:09 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
SoberLeigh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,775
I think that we have to look at those thoughts as part of our disease. We can't stop the thoughts from popping into our heads but we can "train" ourselves to recognize them for what they are and to respond to them in a healthy way. Maybe, give AVRT a try?
SoberLeigh is online now  
Old 09-25-2014, 05:29 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Benton Pa
Posts: 14
I am not an addict so my words are probably empty. I did quit smoking once for fourteen years and went back this time I quit six years ago and tonight smelled a cigarette and thought it smelled soooo good. If its anything like that I am guessing it will diminish with time. I am posting to offer support in this battle and praise you for how far you have come.
heartorn is offline  
Old 09-25-2014, 05:37 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,671
I think I was around six months sober when I noticed that I didn't have those thoughts anymore. Were gone completely in a year. Now I rarely hear it, and when I do, the thoughts are easily dismissed.
least is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:51 AM.