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How has sobriety changed your perspective of time??

Old 09-25-2014, 12:39 PM
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How has sobriety changed your perspective of time??

Today in our small community 3 teens were killed in a car wreck. It happen late evening/early morning about 3:00am. This was their homecoming week. Very sad.....

While our community is touched in different ways by this the concept of time came to mind. Time is short, time is of the essence etc.

As newly sober I contemplated on how much more time means to me. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow may not be. This moment as I type this post is now gone.

I am so much more aware of living in the moment - that spilt second of a hug, smile, kiss or just spending time......with the ones we love. Wasting time, seems so much more self indulgent to me now. Though I am certainly guilty of this.

I wasted so much time drunk. While I am coming to terms with that, and cannot turn back the clock, it makes me every more vigilant of today.

Thought this might be helpful to throw this out to SR friends as a topic - ESH??
( experience/strength and hope).

How has sobriety changed your concept of time? Past, present and future???
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Old 09-25-2014, 12:59 PM
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For most of my life, I have been living as a means to an end. I always feel like I am "getting through" some time in my life to get to the next phase. It is truly an awful perspective when I think about it because I have been blessed with so much that I never took the time to savor. I never truly lived moment by moment, in the moment. It has always been about achieving a goal and moving to the next. Then, I would drink away all of my anxiety about the way I lived or used drinking alcohol as a way to "pass the time" until the next phase. Such a stupid way to live!

So the blessing of my sobriety has been that in order to quit drinking, I had to live in the moment. I had to stay in the present. The gift of my sobriety has been really living in "the now" and miraculously, I feel like I have more time than ever, but I also treasure and value my time so much more. Good idea for a thread, thanks!!
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Old 09-25-2014, 01:03 PM
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Hitting my fifties is what changed my concept of time. Time flies...drunk or sober, and life is fleeting. I'm just glad I'm going through it sober.
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Old 09-25-2014, 01:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Flynbuy View Post
I am so much more aware of living in the moment
I am too! It is an odd thing... I'm simultaneously experiencing a perceived slow-down in time since getting sober, along with the awareness that there is limited time and that it is running out. It's kind of like a warp in time-space for me One moment, I'm aware that time is passing much more slowly now that I remember details. Next, I'm in near panic when I realize how much times has already passed, the years that I drank, and the fact I've already lost two people in my family who I was very close to makes me all too aware my time is limited. When I was young, I was a philosophy major in college and that is when my existential angst really began. I believe some of my drinking was in an effort to deal with the passing of time. When we don't live in the present... when we regret or replay the past, or worry about the future or running out of time, we aren't living in the present. I was never able to comfortably or peacefully live in the present before!! Not until now! It is really amazing.
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Old 09-25-2014, 01:11 PM
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Originally Posted by DoubleDragons View Post
For most of my life, I have been living as a means to an end. I always feel like I am "getting through" some time in my life to get to the next phase.
Same for me, DD! And part of that, for me anyway, was coming from a dysfunctional family where there was alcoholism. It was a coping mechanism.
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Old 09-25-2014, 01:14 PM
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full enjoyment of the present is just better for me without being anesthetized. the last decade really flew by. it's difficult to admit that all the alcohol and drugs contributed to this...but it really is the case. time goes by fast enough. this is better. i'm sure of it.
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Old 09-25-2014, 01:20 PM
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What a question! I think sobriety has slowed down my perception of time considerably. It's allowed me to accumulate ideas & memories. Much of what happened to me during all the years I was drinking, I've forgotten. I forgot it even as it was happening -- I didn't attend to it. Those years were many, but now feel like a blip because they were so empty. Now I pay a lot more attention, so my mental space is filling out. Time has to stretch to contain it. Does that make any sense?
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Old 09-25-2014, 01:22 PM
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Originally Posted by courage2 View Post
Now I pay a lot more attention, so my mental space is filling out. Time has to stretch to contain it. Does that make any sense?
Yes, makes sense. It's like this for me too.
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Old 09-25-2014, 01:34 PM
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Wow, this post really hits home.
10 years ago next month will be the anniversary of my sisters car accident (as a passenger), one that she barely survived. She was in a coma for two months and oddly enough, I knew the EMT on the scene and after the fact he let me know they were about to consider her DOA. She now lives day to day with he brutal aftermath; moderate to severe brain damage.

I think of her and her struggles daily. If there's ever been anyone to look up to in my life, it's been her. My younger sister. My troubles are nothing compared to the pain she endures on a daily basis, and honestly, that has sometimes been the sole factor that's kept me going.

Edit: my apologies for not really staying on topic, just reminded me if how precious life is and to never take anyone or anything for granted. Thanks for the vent.
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Old 09-25-2014, 01:38 PM
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It seems like sober, time lasts longer. Probably because we are not buzzed or drunk through 50% or more of the day. I use to be hungover wake up late on the weekends and nap during the afternoons so what does that really leave me? Sleep through breakfast with the kids. Sleep through the mid morning activities (swimming, hiking, walking the dogs etc), and then nap through afternoon activities. Wake up sick, pissed off, and then start drinking again.

Instead of picking up my kids at daycare itching to get home to crack one open, I now walk calmly in, smile in hand, and enjoy what they did at daycare...

And thats just the tip if the iceberg. Actually an iceberg is a good analogy. When drunk, and iceberg is how we lived. A small portion stuck out of the water (or drunken whatever) and we didnt even tap into what was under the water. That visible part can be our sober life while drinking, and everything under the water is what was infected by alcohol.
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Old 09-25-2014, 02:03 PM
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Originally Posted by DoubleDragons View Post
So the blessing of my sobriety has been that in order to quit drinking, I had to live in the moment. I had to stay in the present. The gift of my sobriety has been really living in "the now" and miraculously, I feel like I have more time than ever, but I also treasure and value my time so much more. Good idea for a thread, thanks!!
The irony, yes!
Great thoughts DD

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Old 09-25-2014, 02:07 PM
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Originally Posted by courage2 View Post
What a question! I think sobriety has slowed down my perception of time considerably. It's allowed me to accumulate ideas & memories. Much of what happened to me during all the years I was drinking, I've forgotten. I forgot it even as it was happening -- I didn't attend to it. Those years were many, but now feel like a blip because they were so empty. Now I pay a lot more attention, so my mental space is filling out. Time has to stretch to contain it. Does that make any sense?
C2 - Yes, this does make sense. May mean I am really, really sick - but I get it!
I see pictures and videos of people and events I can barely remember. Perhaps this is because I was present but so distant. At times it seems I am watching someone else. Slowly the bean is bouncing back though!
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Old 09-25-2014, 02:10 PM
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Originally Posted by SoberJennie View Post
I am too! It is an odd thing... I'm simultaneously experiencing a perceived slow-down in time since getting sober, along with the awareness that there is limited time and that it is running out. It's kind of like a warp in time-space for me One moment, I'm aware that time is passing much more slowly now that I remember details. Next, I'm in near panic when I realize how much times has already passed, the years that I drank, and the fact I've already lost two people in my family who I was very close to makes me all too aware my time is limited. When I was young, I was a philosophy major in college and that is when my existential angst really began. I believe some of my drinking was in an effort to deal with the passing of time. When we don't live in the present... when we regret or replay the past, or worry about the future or running out of time, we aren't living in the present. I was never able to comfortably or peacefully live in the present before!! Not until now! It is really amazing.
Great thoughts SJ! Time slowing down in the reality of the moment, but panic on what's passed.....What we missed. I know you feel the same, we leave that passed time to the clock and make the most of this very moment.....

Heartfelt post - A philosophy major, THAT explains a lot!!! haaaaaa
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Old 09-25-2014, 02:40 PM
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Originally Posted by SoberJennie View Post
I am too! It is an odd thing... I'm simultaneously experiencing a perceived slow-down in time since getting sober, along with the awareness that there is limited time and that it is running out. It's kind of like a warp in time-space for me One moment, I'm aware that time is passing much more slowly now that I remember details. Next, I'm in near panic when I realize how much times has already passed, the years that I drank, and the fact I've already lost two people in my family who I was very close to makes me all too aware my time is limited. When I was young, I was a philosophy major in college and that is when my existential angst really began. I believe some of my drinking was in an effort to deal with the passing of time. When we don't live in the present... when we regret or replay the past, or worry about the future or running out of time, we aren't living in the present. I was never able to comfortably or peacefully live in the present before!! Not until now! It is really amazing.
This is what I relate to the most. Love it Jennie! It explains so well how I feel!
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Old 09-25-2014, 02:41 PM
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What a great topic Flynbuy. Living in the moment is something I am actively learning to do. It's a really nice place to be. And like some of you here since stopping drinking and turning 50 I feel a huge priority is to value and respect time more. To enjoy it and not waste it. To enjoy it as you feel healthy and productive and alive. To not waste it by stressing over jobs and details in life that are always there and can take over if you let them. And of course to not waste it by drinking that blurs time, takes you out of being fully in the moment and causes you to feel only partially alive.
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Old 09-25-2014, 03:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Newpathway View Post
Living in the moment is something I am actively learning to do. It's a really nice place to be. And like some of you here since stopping drinking and turning 50 I feel a huge priority is to value and respect time more. To enjoy it and not waste it. To enjoy it as you feel healthy and productive and alive. To not waste it by stressing over jobs and details in life that are always there and can take over if you let them. And of course to not waste it by drinking that blurs time, takes you out of being fully in the moment and causes you to feel only partially alive.
Well stated!
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Old 09-25-2014, 03:24 PM
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A great topic. Years ago, on a number of extended backpacker travels I learned how to live in the moment. Decisions were made by gut and more often than not rewarded by amazing experiences - meeting new and interesting people, having fantastic unplanned experiences, simply enjoying all that that moment could offer. This had the effect of "slowing" time since everything was new again. I liken it to how summers as a kid seemed to last forever.
So living in terms present comes fairly naturally to me, so much so that I lost any plan at all, and drinking kept me content in floating along without actually experiencing all those cool moments I had been used to. It sucked my motivation and left me in an unproductive routine, which I tricked myself into thinking was living in the moment. But it wasn't living at all.
So time flew by, and the best I can measure those years is through the lives of my children. Those milestones is the best I can gauge time.
I'm looking to rediscover life by learning again, and experiencing all that is new. I love to learn, and this is how i slow time...
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Old 09-25-2014, 03:31 PM
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I've read Phenomenology Of Internal Time Consciousness by Edmund Husserl several times and, as a result, it surprises me that I'm still able to function under my own power. I don't recommend it to anyone, not because it isn't a good book, or even a classic in philosophy, but because reading it may cause brain damage. And it most definitely should be on this list: The Top 10 Most Difficult Books

Or this one: http://www.buzzfeed.com/louispeitzma...r-read#38vbcxw

Of interest to me is that Martin Heidegger, the editor of PhOITC, is on both lists for his work, Being and Time.

It's an interesting question, to me, in terms of psychiatric syndromes, since each diagnosis comes with different, usually extreme subjective experiences of time, which can be perceived by the alert observer. I think our relationship with time carries a great deal of potentially useful information about who we are.

Of all the things we can fix, change, redeem, learn from or for which we can make amends, we can never restore the time we've lost. Time, or I should say my subjective experience of time, was my enemy when I was trying to get sober. I seemingly ached with every moment, wishing as I did to erase my alcoholic past, either through time travel or deletion of memories, along with my desire to be whisked along to a better place. Things changed after I achieved sobriety, and so time became my most precious commodity. I got very busy, very busy, in building a better life, and I've not looked back.

(Steve Jobs is quoted as quoting someone else when he said, "If you live each day as though it's your last, someday you will be right." It's a funny anecdote that's part of a larger message that, in turn, is a small part of his stunning commencement speech at Standford University several years ago. I'm sure it's on YouTube, and easily found through Google.)

I find a tremendous amount of relief and personal gratification by framing whatever I'm doing at the present moment as the most important thing in my life, and this is no longer a mostly conscious dynamic. The moment I describe the present moment, it's gone, and I've changed as a result, though the change is rarely dramatic.

I don't use traditional meditation techniques, and I probably couldn't tell you in any intelligible way how I get it or use it, but I have tremendous focus and concentration that's counterbalanced by a playful, free-floating consciousness; an active mind and an active imagination. None of this was the outcome of a conscious wish or plan on my part. I instead cooperated with the process of self-discovery that allowed me to shed many of my biases about who I am as a person. Even that explanation seems trivial, if only because a large part of this process remains a mystery to me.

EDIT: I should add that during my episodes of major depression, I spend my depressing wealth of surplus time by torturing myself, which is linked to my belief that I'm wasting my life.
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Old 09-25-2014, 03:36 PM
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Time moves much more slowly now, in a good way.
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Old 09-25-2014, 03:39 PM
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Originally Posted by EndGameNYC View Post
Of interest to me is that Martin Heidegger, the editor of PhOITC, is on both lists for his work, Being and Time.
I actually read this one
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