Day one again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
Day one again
Ok, I made so many mistakes yesterday, I can't even begin to tell you. I didn't take my medication, I got all lost and confused and depressed. Yesterday, ended with medics force feeding me a pill and me telling them about the upcoming revolution ( don't ask its too crazy to tell) I thank you all for your kind comments in my time of need.
I am supposing now, I am the resident crazy guy on SR and for that I am sorry. I know I go from normal to out of it and back again. I was doing so well now I could just cry. Day 1 again.
Yesterday was awesome in the beginning, I bought a book, was enjoying myself and plugging along quite well. Then it came time for my morning dose, I decided what the hell lets skip the anti psychotic today. I don't want to be tired and medicinal handcuffed for the day.
Then around 8pm 9 pm the wheels fell off the bus they came back and away I went to lala land, I crashed hard and fast. Then I freaked out, and started drinking to stop the voices. I wanted my head to be clear, it didn't get clear.
So two liters of fire ball, an ambulance, and massive head ache and hangover I am back. Thank you all for those that sent me PM's last night and worried about me, thank you all for your kind words.
I am disappointed in myself, I wish I could explain why i go from happy to sad and nuts so fast. I really wish I could, Its like bipolar on hyper drive. I don't want to hurt others or myself, but I fear unmediated, I will.
I always post the abject truth so I can see it and read it later, I really do hope one day I can look back at this site and see what happened. I hope one day my post might just help one person. For today I am back at day one, feeling a bit melancholy and embarrassed. Here is to day one again, I am nursing a hangover with OJ and apologizing to my family. SR wish me luck, here I go again day 1.
I am supposing now, I am the resident crazy guy on SR and for that I am sorry. I know I go from normal to out of it and back again. I was doing so well now I could just cry. Day 1 again.
Yesterday was awesome in the beginning, I bought a book, was enjoying myself and plugging along quite well. Then it came time for my morning dose, I decided what the hell lets skip the anti psychotic today. I don't want to be tired and medicinal handcuffed for the day.
Then around 8pm 9 pm the wheels fell off the bus they came back and away I went to lala land, I crashed hard and fast. Then I freaked out, and started drinking to stop the voices. I wanted my head to be clear, it didn't get clear.
So two liters of fire ball, an ambulance, and massive head ache and hangover I am back. Thank you all for those that sent me PM's last night and worried about me, thank you all for your kind words.
I am disappointed in myself, I wish I could explain why i go from happy to sad and nuts so fast. I really wish I could, Its like bipolar on hyper drive. I don't want to hurt others or myself, but I fear unmediated, I will.
I always post the abject truth so I can see it and read it later, I really do hope one day I can look back at this site and see what happened. I hope one day my post might just help one person. For today I am back at day one, feeling a bit melancholy and embarrassed. Here is to day one again, I am nursing a hangover with OJ and apologizing to my family. SR wish me luck, here I go again day 1.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
You are safe here at SR; please don't feel embarrassed or ashamed; it is totally unnecessary.
Glad you are feeling a little better today. (Keep taking those meds as prescribed, friend. Sometimes we just can't make it without them; they help treat a disease just as insulin helps treat diabetes.)
Keep feeling better.
Glad you are feeling a little better today. (Keep taking those meds as prescribed, friend. Sometimes we just can't make it without them; they help treat a disease just as insulin helps treat diabetes.)
Keep feeling better.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome back TDG, glad to hear that you are OK.
Other than your posts here on SR, do you have any support locally? I apologize for not remembering, but i'm wondering if having local people to talk with on a daily basis might be of help?
Other than your posts here on SR, do you have any support locally? I apologize for not remembering, but i'm wondering if having local people to talk with on a daily basis might be of help?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
Scott the mental hospital wants me to do daily counseling or weekly counseling at the least. I do go to AA almost daily, I don't have many friends anymore. I pushed most of my so called " support group" away some time ago. I just have me and my family for the most part and daily AA groups. No sponsor or anything.
Taking meds for you might be on the same level as not drinking, you know? Both are equally important and imperative.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Western NY
Posts: 125
Luck, Jeremy. I've been reading your posts all along and admire your tenacious desire for, and your joyous enjoyment of sobriety. Don't be so down on yourself - your attitude has been inspiring. Lesson learned for you I'm sure. Take it for that, and seize your sobriety back.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Thatdeliveryguy 
Scott the mental hospital wants me to do daily counseling or weekly counseling at the least. I do go to AA almost daily, I don't have many friends anymore. I pushed most of my so called " support group" away some time ago. I just have me and my family for the most part and daily AA groups. No sponsor or anything.
Either way, it seems that talking things through here are of benefit to you - hopefully expanding on that with folks in person will help too.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Welcome back jeremy
you gotta stop saying things like resident crazy guy there are people here that suffer mental illness too your under stress and for whatever reason stopped taking your meds again and this has happened
i think you have problems just like i and a lot of others do
you relapsed it happened nothing much you can do
keep going aa keep reading but most importantly keep taking medication Jeremy this is vital to your wellbeing
all the best jeremy
you gotta stop saying things like resident crazy guy there are people here that suffer mental illness too your under stress and for whatever reason stopped taking your meds again and this has happened
i think you have problems just like i and a lot of others do
you relapsed it happened nothing much you can do
keep going aa keep reading but most importantly keep taking medication Jeremy this is vital to your wellbeing
all the best jeremy
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Glad you are back. Chalk it up to a lesson learned, don't miss your meds! It was a rough day, but today is a new day. As far as being the resident SR crazy guy, ha! Read up, we all have a little of that in us LOL!
I am glad you are here!
I am glad you are here!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 6
I'm glad that you went to the ER. I've had friends that have taken anti-psychotics and I know that the side effects can be hard to manage. Ask your Dr. whether you can see a psychiatrist to discuss managing side effects. I'm sorry you're going through so much stress right now...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
Meowmeowmeow I didn't actually go to the ER, it all ended with the ambulance. I have a history of calling them, or having them called. When they show up, its basically routine now, give me a sedative, make me take my pill ( this is the new thing) calm me down and send me back home to sober up.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
I'm very glad that you got the help you needed last night, Jeremy. It's not sad that the ambulance knows what's going on with you, that's how they can help, that's why they exist. Like others suggested, don't beat yourself up for needing meds and assistance. Use that each time also instead of drinking!
I think counseling (or some other form of outpatient treatment) sounds like a good idea!
I think counseling (or some other form of outpatient treatment) sounds like a good idea!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
