I'm starting to try.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Edmonton
Posts: 1
I'm starting to try.
I have to.
I'm new here, obviously, but I seriously messed up today. I told my bf how messed up I was before I had a treatment plan in place and he is furious.
I'm typing this from the upstairs spare bedroom. He doesn't even want to see me. I knew I should have listened to my counsellor, but...
He got mad at me. The bf.
Then I freaked out. Kinda, I didn't do something he asked me to do; which I've literally been promising to do for weeks.
I just feel like a failure, and I'm so so scared he'll leave me. Even though he has every right to; I've been a terrible girlfriend.
I don't really know what I'm doing here. Maybe asking advice?
Maybe just asking for someone to listen....
I'm new here, obviously, but I seriously messed up today. I told my bf how messed up I was before I had a treatment plan in place and he is furious.
I'm typing this from the upstairs spare bedroom. He doesn't even want to see me. I knew I should have listened to my counsellor, but...
He got mad at me. The bf.
Then I freaked out. Kinda, I didn't do something he asked me to do; which I've literally been promising to do for weeks.
I just feel like a failure, and I'm so so scared he'll leave me. Even though he has every right to; I've been a terrible girlfriend.
I don't really know what I'm doing here. Maybe asking advice?
Maybe just asking for someone to listen....
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
I know this is really hard to hear but all you can do is tell him that you want to stop drinking and then show him by not drinking. I wish there was a quick fix. Or even a quicker fix. I had told people hundreds of times that I would stop drinking and then drink again often very soon after. I wanted to stand on a rooftop and shout that I am really done this time!!!! Even the time when I was done about three months ago. But dang it, it was slow as heck I just had to show people day by day by day.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
One more thing. I didn't even know if I would stop when I said I would stop and obviously I didn't many many times. For me the first month was like wrapping myself in a cocoon and just counting the minutes. Going through the motions of life and not drinking. People and your boyfriend will be impressed day by day.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,557
Welcome Iambad. It's so good to meet you.
I didn't know what I expected from SR when I first signed on either. I was still drinking, but just miserable and desperate. At that time I couldn't imagine letting go of alcohol, but it was making my life unbearable. The more I read and posted here, the stronger I became. I found the courage to give it up and begin my new life. You are never alone, and we want to help you. Please keep reaching out - you're among friends.
I didn't know what I expected from SR when I first signed on either. I was still drinking, but just miserable and desperate. At that time I couldn't imagine letting go of alcohol, but it was making my life unbearable. The more I read and posted here, the stronger I became. I found the courage to give it up and begin my new life. You are never alone, and we want to help you. Please keep reaching out - you're among friends.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome to the Forum!! 
You'll find loads of support here on SR, I eventually came to the conclusion that alcohol wasn't doing me any favours in life and this place was a great resource to help me turn things around!!
You'll find loads of support here on SR, I eventually came to the conclusion that alcohol wasn't doing me any favours in life and this place was a great resource to help me turn things around!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Hi and welcome Iambadatthis
I know it's all scary right now but it will get better. All the improvements in my life sprang from my decision to get, and stay sober.
You need to do this for you first and foremost. This is about you and your life and your future.
Noone knows what your bf will decide but it's probably a good sign he's still there.
You can't make anyone stay in your life but if you're committed to change and you how that in actions, who knows - you may give him reason not to go?
D
I know it's all scary right now but it will get better. All the improvements in my life sprang from my decision to get, and stay sober.
You need to do this for you first and foremost. This is about you and your life and your future.
Noone knows what your bf will decide but it's probably a good sign he's still there.
You can't make anyone stay in your life but if you're committed to change and you how that in actions, who knows - you may give him reason not to go?
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Welcome to SR!
The choice is simple yet complex, because addiction is. Start by making 2 list.
One with sobriety and advantages it will bring in your life. Better health, both physical and mental, money, better relationships etc. keep building your list.
Then you do the list of positives addiction brings in your life. I doubt you will run out of paper on this one.
Most likely, you will end up thinking that there is no logic in your addiction, that sustaining it
Is Impossible.
Then starts the work, you need some kind of a plan, recovery groups like here, AA, AVRT, urge surfing technique. Many choice in methods out there. Find the one that works best for you. Some of us need counselling to dig out the root causes of why we picked up in the beginning. It's a gradual progression so it's difficult to pinpoint why it slipped out of control.
Yikes this is long, hope you enjoy your experience on SR!
The choice is simple yet complex, because addiction is. Start by making 2 list.
One with sobriety and advantages it will bring in your life. Better health, both physical and mental, money, better relationships etc. keep building your list.
Then you do the list of positives addiction brings in your life. I doubt you will run out of paper on this one.
Most likely, you will end up thinking that there is no logic in your addiction, that sustaining it
Is Impossible.
Then starts the work, you need some kind of a plan, recovery groups like here, AA, AVRT, urge surfing technique. Many choice in methods out there. Find the one that works best for you. Some of us need counselling to dig out the root causes of why we picked up in the beginning. It's a gradual progression so it's difficult to pinpoint why it slipped out of control.
Yikes this is long, hope you enjoy your experience on SR!
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