PinkCloudsCharley

I was getting some chicken out of the freezer and found a "slush" - frozen rum with a dash of cola. It tasted awful. So now what do i do? Tell Ah I found it? It's obvious I would have seen it because we're having chicken and i would have gotten it from somewhere. Do i ignore it? Throw it out?

NYCDoglvr

I'd throw it out and not say anything.

KidsR#1

I'd throw it out as well and not mention it. That is what I do whenever I am cleaning. I feel it's different then snooping. When you are snooping you are looking for the alcohol, but when you are cleaning, or cooking a meal in your case, it is different.

AnvilheadII

just toss it. if you hide your booze behind the chicken, that's what you get!

BoxinRotz

I probably would throw it out Too and use one of his lines on him...

I didn't see a bottle/drink in the freezer.

I've found bottles in the dirty clothes hamper...

ladyscribbler

We're making a lot of assumptions here. What if it belonged to the chicken?
I once found a bottle in the litter box. Those cats had a problem.

BuffaloGal

I'm sure the cats could've quit ANY TIME and you were just blowing everything out of proportion!

My aexh never hid his wine, but he did hide porn. A lot. I pitched fits when I found it. Needless to say that did not help him or me. I wouldn't say anything.

heartcore

Confused. Why would you throw it out? Has he made a commitment not to drink in the house or to be abstinent/in recovery?

If he has made such a commitment, then he broke it & whatever consequences were agreed on when the commitment was made need to happen ( ie. Moving out, inpatient treatment).

If you do not have a commitment regarding his alcohol use in the house, then I think he can store his slushie anywhere he wants to.

Throwing something away makes no sense to me. It is either an opportunity to communicate, let it go & do your own thing, or stand firmly inside predefined boundaries (even if that is not how you wanted the evening to go). Don't take your frustration out on the slushy (it won't understand); use this moment to respond not react.

Stung

I'm an a-hole so I'd put sriracha in it. Or a ton of vinegar. Or dog poop. That's what you get for hiding booze. Can't snow the snowman.

*I don't recommend doing that, by the by. It's just the first place my mind went. Back in December or earlier, that IS what I would have done. If I found booze in my home at this point I would probably not allow him in my home anymore.

PunchDrunk

Ha! I did that once. Dumped a bunch of salt in his glass of vodka. It was at one of his family's functions. He didn't see me do it but when he drank it he FLIPPED the F out. Started accusing me and cursing me out, calling me the worst names. His whole family got to see his behavior. I blamed the kids.

schnappi99

Dose it with Ipecac

the thought is viscerally pleasant but I'm with heartcore- paybacks aren't the way, likewise going straight from finding the slushie to pulling the "move the F out like we agreed to" trigger is likely hasty, but I'd not be inclined to let it go and make no response because thats more of the devaluing yourself behavior.

mfanch

Wow. (at some of these replies)

Each of us has our own recovery to worry about. If I found AH's booze in the freezer, I have to think about what *I* need to do for ME, in this situation. The thing I DO NOT want to do it become like my AH in that it is OK to be dishonest or retaliatory. Both are wrong in my program. My AH and I have an agreement: we can only live in a sober environment. If one of us returns to drinking, they have to leave. That is the boundary. If the boundary is crossed, then communication and action must occur.

So in MY house it would mean that an honest, open communication would occur at the earliest opportunity. Addiction is a progressive and fatal malady.

I would not throw out AH's stuff and say nothing. It essentially tells AH that he can do what he wants (which is what he is apparently doing anyway). What is the boundary? It is time to honor it.

MissFixit

I found vodka bottles in exA's tall boots.

PinkCloudsCharley

I ended up throwing it out. Well, running it under hot water and sending it down the drain, to be exact.

Passive aggressive, I know. I was not up for another conversation about it, and while I'm trying to set boundaries I've been quite bad at enforcing and even communicating them. I wanted to do this as a sign that I am serious about not accepting alcohol anymore. We start marriage counseling on Monday so I'm sure it'll be brought up then.

Thanks to all the replies, got a big laugh out of some of those! I will admit to briefly thinking of adding something nasty to it, but by the taste of it, it was nasty enough already! LOL who can drink a huge plastic cup of frozen, almost straight rum anyway?

dandylion

soverylost....to answer your question......An Alcoholic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Duh! (LOL).

dandylion

clematis

That's a lifehack for homemade bootkeepers (found those also but they were Beerenburg bottles) he said

PinkCloudsCharley

LOL, Dandy, it was rhetorical Too funny!

Mountainmanbob

If you don't want him drinking, throw it out and tell him that you found it.

Seems simple.

If my wife found one she would be disappointed and mad.

Happy Queen makes for a Happy King

MM

Florence

My boundary was that if I found it, I said so, I threw it out, and asked him to leave until he could show me a new commitment to treatment, whatever that was. It "worked" a few times, and then I had to make a larger call about the state of the relationship.

hopeful4

I had already beaten that dead horse to death, so my tactic was to just sit it on the table where he would see it and say nothing. I did not need to say anything, we had that conversation so many times he knew just what I was thinking, and I knew what empty promises he would make. Blah....nothing changes if nothing changes....