SadieJack

I first want to admit that I fell off the wagon last night. Too much BS going on and I got too stressed out.

The tipping point last night was a fight with my business partner. I am creating a new website for our business and she couldn't care less. I want her input and she shuts down. I really can't do this alone... I need her input.

So I basically confronted her about it last night on the phone and she hung up on me. What the hell? I am doing all the web design, content, marketing, etc. She is doing nothing.

So... after my conversation with my brother Sunday night that ended badly and now this, I drank. Not a lot, but I did.

Thoughts?

Jupiters

there's always going to be stress.....it's how you are going to handle it without drinking.
go for a walk? take a hot bath? call a friend? meeting?
there are so many options that don't involve booze to relieve stress. Changing that habit is work. When we are so used to just turning to the bottle to "deal" with LIFE, it isn't going to get any better.

SadieJack

I know stress is part of life... and I have tried alternative ways of dealing, like meditation, doing my painting, exercise, etc. But they don't seem to have that immediate calming effect that alcohol does.

luvmygirls

I can relate. Hang in there. Have you tried ice cream or something equally junky? ;-)

SadieJack

You know...that is a great idea! Never considered that. I love Hagen Daaz. I will give that a try!

tomsteve

did you talk to your business partner before starting the work on this new website? it seems to me that if at any time the business partner said they dont want to help, then the business partner doesn't have anything to with this.
and drinking didn't solve anything,did it? other than maybe seeing drinking doesn't solve anything. the rationalization of drinking helpiing to relieve the stress is just that- rationalization- giving an acceptable reason for unacceptable behavior and unacceptable behavior is a form of insanity.

so my thoughts are to use this all as a good example. the old way is to run to alcohol when fear and anger come up and it aint workin good. now a new way needs to be learned. and IMO accepting that yer powerless over other people may help some.

KateL

Stress is a bummer. I have had to look after my grandchildren for 10 days and at the age of 56 it is a bit of a chore. But they are safe and sound at hone now Phewww. And being sober makes you just want to snooze xx

Blood500

its took me a long time to understand and I still forget, that the "problems/stress" only exist in my Mind' I create it, no matter what...

PolarBlue

I was so close myself last night, worrying about something stupid that doesn't really matter. I had to keep telling myself that after the alcohol wears off I'll feel even worse, and possibly go get more. I decided it's not worth it. As I said in another thread, chocolate seems to help with me with the anxiety and cravings.

SadieJack

Yes, stress is major bummer. And I KNOW alcohol doesn't solve the stressors, but it makes me calmer. Not treating the cause, just the symptoms.

So yeah...cannot control people or stress...have a drink or two and settle down. Not good strategy for quitting booze. I wish I knew some method of settling down quickly besides drinking. I suffer from PTSD and Depression which add to the problem. Something that might be a small thing for one person can be a major deal to me. Like my business partner hanging up on me. Someone else may have just blown that off.... for me, it was like a stab in the heart. Aroused all kinds of feelings of anger, rejection, confusion, etc.

Jupiters

are you in any kind of therapy/counselling?

Mountainmanbob

after being in business with several different people over many years I have found out that its just like a marriage

takes a commitment of 2 - 100% of the time

MM

Anna

It takes some shifting of perspective to know that you can get through things without drinking.

It sounds like your business partner is not on board with moving forward with the business. Can you get out of the partnership and move on by yourself?

SadieJack

Sorry...didn't have access to the forum for a bit. Yes, I am in agreement that perhaps I should find another partner or go it alone. Being in business with someone as mercurial as she is isn't good. I really didn't know she would have ended up like this. Her actions have a direct bearing on me and the business so I need to protect both. Thanks

PurpleKnight

What did drinking do for the situation, did it fix anything?

In my experience alcohol doesn't fix much, the thought of it sounds great but it promises so much and delivers very little!!

There's always going to be ups and downs in life, that is for certain, we need to learn to live without our perceived quick fix of alcohol!!

MarathonMan

Life is one stressful situation after another, you've got to learn to ride the wave or success will be impossible.....not very helpful I know just an observation....you sound like some therapy might help you out...teach you ways to deal with rejection and anger etc.....

What you have to look deep down and ask is, was the argument the excuse you needed to drink. I have on many occasions gone looking for an argument to then immediately get a drink after with a justification that it was their fault and I'd been driven to it....obviously not saying that is what happened but we can easily fool ourselves with these situations at times. If you read my history that is exactly what I did about a week before I finally relapsed last time after 4 months clean....i think I knew at the time I was on the verge relapse and I was having fights left, right and centre in readiness for giving up.

ghostdad

If your partner suddenly has committed 100% to the project and your back on friendly terms with your brother then I would say keep drinking.

Dee74

The problem is tho that ultimate alcohol creates anxiety and stress. We become so used to our 'fix' that we feel bad without it...and gradually the list of 'things I drink over' becomes ever longer and more inclusive.

Drinking didn't solve your problem or your stress. It just pushed it to one side for a little while and dragged you one step closer to 'needing to have a drink' next time.

People still annoy me and let me down...but I've changed how I react to that.

It's not easy, it takes time, and now sure it does take more effort to get de-stressed - but the benefits of not self medicating with booze and drugs are *amazing*

D

SadieJack

I am assuming you are being a smart A** right?

Hawks

I think ghost dad is saying in a round about way

Did you having a drink correct any of the problems you are experiencing?

Did a drink produce a positive result??

Why did you drink?

Boiled down to the very essence, it is because "Nobody is perfect"

We all make mistakes.

If you ever meet a person called "Nobody " you can ask them what it is like to be perfect.

I'm betting you never will.