his new girlfriend
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: bristol
Posts: 7
his new girlfriend
The alcoholic boyfriend left me. Within weeks he was engaged to someone new. She met him online and lives abroad and has met him once, yet is uprooting her children and bringing them to live with him next month.
She has been messaging me and asking if there is anything bad she should know.
I haven't told her he's a drinker. I dont feel its my place to to be honest.
He's not violent at all but he is a big drinker and can get Moody when mob binge.
She has been messaging me and asking if there is anything bad she should know.
I haven't told her he's a drinker. I dont feel its my place to to be honest.
He's not violent at all but he is a big drinker and can get Moody when mob binge.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Olney, MD
Posts: 268
My advice to you, just let it be. She will figure it out in time. I wish I had known RAH was an alcoholic when I married him. I wouldn't have if I could have predicted the 8 years of he'll I have been through.
Personally I think you should tell her. Only because there are kids in the mix here. Then she can make her own decision.
But I will support you no matter what decision you make . At the end you have to do what is most comfortable for you.
But I will support you no matter what decision you make . At the end you have to do what is most comfortable for you.
He is your EX. She is someone you've never met. In your shoes, I wouldn't talk to either one of them. Realistically, I don't think there is anything you can hope to do, or anything it is really your place to do.
Yes, let it go. N/C w/both of them.
Yes, let it go. N/C w/both of them.
Wow.
If this lady is so unwise as to uproot her children for a man she does not know, I can't imagine her taking any advice from you. Surely someone in her life has suggested that she is doing something crazy?
And what woman, except a very naive, young, or very strange one, would text his ex, and ask if there is anything she should know? I would guess she has no idea of healthy , normal boundaries.
I feel sorry for those children. I would be tempted to tell her about his drinking, if it is really bad, in the hopes that she may reconsider. I mean, since he must have given her your phone #, as a reference contact? Those poor kids...
If this lady is so unwise as to uproot her children for a man she does not know, I can't imagine her taking any advice from you. Surely someone in her life has suggested that she is doing something crazy?
And what woman, except a very naive, young, or very strange one, would text his ex, and ask if there is anything she should know? I would guess she has no idea of healthy , normal boundaries.
I feel sorry for those children. I would be tempted to tell her about his drinking, if it is really bad, in the hopes that she may reconsider. I mean, since he must have given her your phone #, as a reference contact? Those poor kids...
Not taking sides, just saying that there could be factors we don't know about--and that it is not our business to know about.
My understanding is that you last posted here in March when you said that you and this man had split up after he lost his job because of heavy drinking. That's a significant time ago. Are you hoping to hold on to a relationship with him? If so, why?
And if you don't want a relationship with him, why do his plans with another person matter?
And if you don't want a relationship with him, why do his plans with another person matter?
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Join Date: Feb 2007
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How did she get your number?
The alcoholic boyfriend left me. Within weeks he was engaged to someone new. She met him online and lives abroad and has met him once, yet is uprooting her children and bringing them to live with him next month.
She has been messaging me and asking if there is anything bad she should know.
I haven't told her he's a drinker. I dont feel its my place to to be honest.
He's not violent at all but he is a big drinker and can get Moody when mob binge.
She has been messaging me and asking if there is anything bad she should know.
I haven't told her he's a drinker. I dont feel its my place to to be honest.
He's not violent at all but he is a big drinker and can get Moody when mob binge.
Just a thought, if you tell her about his drinking and anything else she may keep contacting you for more and more information. This would not be very healthy or fun for you. I also agree she probably wouldn't believe you anyway. I would have a really hard time making this decision too. It's so heartbreaking anytime children are involved. Sending hugs!!!
A soon to be new wife who is uprooting her children to be with someone, asking that persons ex-wife for references? Hmmm....
I don't think I'd be chatting much with that woman. I'll be the 2nd to ask, how'd she get your number? And why is she calling you?
I don't think I'd be chatting much with that woman. I'll be the 2nd to ask, how'd she get your number? And why is she calling you?
I think I would say I am not comfortable getting in between your relationship but in general uprooting your children to come live with a man you don't really know is maybe not the best idea....and leave it at that.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: bristol
Posts: 7
We did split in march but got back together within days. We then hadta lovely 6 months until he ended it suddenly 1 month ago. He met her 3 weeks after and proposed on the first meeting.
She hasn't got my number. She has been checking me out on facebook and then she messaged me.
She seems very sweet but clearly naive! She is 36.
I know I should tell her but I dont feel its my place to. It could just come across as jealousy or sour grapes.
We are not USA. I am from uk. She is in Switzerland.
She hasn't got my number. She has been checking me out on facebook and then she messaged me.
She seems very sweet but clearly naive! She is 36.
I know I should tell her but I dont feel its my place to. It could just come across as jealousy or sour grapes.
We are not USA. I am from uk. She is in Switzerland.
Facebook allows you to block someone, that is what I would do. I would tell her what I said above (this is just my opinion), I would then say what SeriousKarma said, then block her. It's not your duty to save her.
I would stay as far out of this as possible. If she is making decisions this fast then she is likely not in a place to hear anything you have to say.
If she is experiencing some red flags, then your silence on the matter should speak volumes anyway.
If she is experiencing some red flags, then your silence on the matter should speak volumes anyway.
We did split in march but got back together within days. We then hadta lovely 6 months until he ended it suddenly 1 month ago. He met her 3 weeks after and proposed on the first meeting.
She hasn't got my number. She has been checking me out on facebook and then she messaged me.
She seems very sweet but clearly naive! She is 36.
I know I should tell her but I dont feel its my place to. It could just come across as jealousy or sour grapes.
We are not USA. I am from uk. She is in Switzerland.
She hasn't got my number. She has been checking me out on facebook and then she messaged me.
She seems very sweet but clearly naive! She is 36.
I know I should tell her but I dont feel its my place to. It could just come across as jealousy or sour grapes.
We are not USA. I am from uk. She is in Switzerland.
Please watch yourself with these 2, they sound like trouble coming.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: bristol
Posts: 7
Yes. I'm sure this is not the last I will hear from her.
I wonder if she is already doubting her rash decision?
She told me all about how it was it was love at first sight and she feels like she's known him forever. Which is exactly how it was with me and him!
They even had matching engagement tattoos done, on that first meet up! The same tattoos that me and him planned.
The whole situation is bizarre!
I've just remained polite and pleasant. To both of them when they have been in contact.
I will not let myself walk away from this with either of them thinking I am a crazy woman who has lost her mind!
The pair of them are the crazy ones!
I wonder if she is already doubting her rash decision?
She told me all about how it was it was love at first sight and she feels like she's known him forever. Which is exactly how it was with me and him!
They even had matching engagement tattoos done, on that first meet up! The same tattoos that me and him planned.
The whole situation is bizarre!
I've just remained polite and pleasant. To both of them when they have been in contact.
I will not let myself walk away from this with either of them thinking I am a crazy woman who has lost her mind!
The pair of them are the crazy ones!
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