erin8

Do people who aren't alcoholics really obsess over whether or not they're "real alcoholics?"

robgt350

yup

i did for about 2 years. i would justify it one excuss or another or one reason for another. and i never ran out out of them. that is what us addicts do.

dSober

Doesn't everybody at first?

Soberween

My husband is a complete normie and has NEVER ever had any concern that he may be an alcoholic let alone have a drinking problem. When I got sober, all my friends who I believe behave alcoholically explained to me how lucky they are and why they have no drinking issues whatsoever. I know I shouldn't do their moral inventory, but it was a startling difference from my friends who never even noticed I quit drinking. Those friends are the ones that would in the past say let's meet at Starbucks or something for a drink as opposed to insisting on a place where they could get a drink with alcohol.

erin8

Does the fact that I can't stop once I start make me an alcoholic? I mean, that's a pretty clear indicator isn't it?

Waterfalls2014

The people I know who aren't alcoholics don't. They can take it or leave it. A night out doesn't revolve around drinking much. Me, an alcoholic, on the other hand would obsess and over obsess and let it consume my thoughts for hours on end.

erin8

I mean I have a million signs. I'm just 25 though and I've seen much worse. You know? I've never had a DUI or gone through withdrawals. I'm rationalizing. And the fact that all day long I've wanted a drink. Normal people aren't like this.

FreeOwl

I hadn't gotten a DUI or gone through withdrawals at 25 either.... though I also had plenty of evidence that alcohol was a problem for me.

Well, that was nearly 16 years, two DUI's, one hit-and-run, two marriages, hundreds of thousands of dollars and a lot of physical and emotional damage ago.....

If alcohol is trending in a problematic direction for you, and if your experiences seem to match or foreshadow those of some of what you'll read around here.... then whether or not you're 'an alcoholic' might be less important than the questions a)what do you want your life to be? b) is alcohol supportive of that for you?

welcome

doggonecarl

Despite your desire to quit drinking, you can't. That's a problem no matter what you call it. Don't rationalize that it's okay too long. It only gets worse.

Thepatman

Similar than Freeowl, it took me another 15 years after the first red flags came up before I finally broke free. Not particularly wise but it was needed.

yinzer

I'm sure they probably don't. I had friends who could go out to the movies for the evening or go shopping or do whatever, whereas all I could think about was when I could get my drink. Or I'd skip out on certain activities because I couldn't drink.

They thought about other things, and alcohol was (is) always on my mind.

Anna

Erin, alcoholism is a progressive disease.

It ill get worse unless you decide to stop drinking.

Denial is definitely a big part of alcoholism, and I think it's only when recovery begins that we can clearly see the denial.

Soberwolf

Finding out/Knowing/Accepting im alcoholic saves my life every single day

if you would have asked me 2 years ago was i alcoholic i would have said pffft and carried on drinking my litre bottle of vodka

funny how ppl always have a drink in thier hand when they say im not alcoholic

dSober

That's the definition of an alcoholic.

esinger

First off I became addicted to a drug which happened to be ethanol. I quit drinking and got through the sickness and am no longer physically addicted. Mentally I realize that I enjoyed my DOC too much, used it as a crutch when thing went bad, and it caused me harm. Therefore I choose to stay away from it.
Maybe it's just me but I choose not to put life long negative labels on myself. I call my self human and all humans have faults.
Someone used the phrase normie another phrase that irritates me. There is no such thing as we are all different and have our own unique deficiencies and assets. So I'm no more a real alcoholic than I am a normie. Just label me as a member of the human race. Or maybe I'm an abnormie.

flossyfressia

Erin-I'm 26. I basically think about alcohol all the time. I didn't drink during the day (other than Christmas or weddings) but would get hammered or at least drink basically every night. If I bought a bottle of wine I knew it wouldn't be enough and would constantly be watching it to see how much I had left, thinking about if there was anything else in the house to drink when it was gone.

Non-alcoholics don't ever think they are alcoholics because they're not alcoholics! That's how I came to realise that I am. I might not have got to the point that I drink first thing every morning, but it's a slippery slope.

Eddiebuckle

If you weren't an alcoholic, you wouldn't have an issue stopping IMO.

flossyfressia

Agreed!

erin8

I didn't start paying attention to how much I had until I started buying small bottles (so I could get my ass to work the next morning.) One time I ran out of my vodka so I gathered all the empty bottles in the house and made one more shot, which I accidentally spilled on the ground. I don't really remember what happened after that... it looks like I'm in the right place though. Time to wake up.

Pretend3r

I've known that I need to quit drinking for about 5 years. At first I tried to argue with the idea I might be an alcoholic, then I questioned why me, why are some people able to drink normally and not me, is alcoholism a disease, is alcoholism genetic...on and on.

It wasn't until I decided that the "why" isn't important that I was able to "let go" of these circular conversations/arguments with myself. Why doesn't matter much - it's obvious drinking is real bad for me and my son, my life, health, future. Gotta quit.