leah333

Yesterday I was 12 days sober. Today I am 13 days. This is important because last night I hung out with friends at a party for the first time since I quit drinking. There were about 10 people there, only 2 of them were really close friends who know I've quit. Everyone was drinking except me. I didn't have a drop of alcohol all night. And I actually had fun. There was temptation at first but one of the girls there was completely sauced and talking all loud and saying how much she loved everyone, etc. I was just like... Oh I'm so glad I'm not that girl anymore. It was so stress free too bc no one even realized I wasn't drinking. I had a red solo cup of water and everyone assumed it was beer or something. I was glad I didn't have to answer any questions.

Soberwolf

Hi leah well done on 14 days fantastic

doggonecarl

Glad you made it through the party.

I had one early test with only a few days sober. I didn't again put myself in harm's way (around alcohol) for months after that. Too much risk of temptation.

longbeachone

Thats great, and with great love I say this...

Stay away from slippery slopes.

In the days, weeks and months that come, your resolve will be all over the place, and if you happen to be at a party where there's drinking going on, and it has been a terrible day, and you mention that a drink would be good but you're "on the wagon" you will be surrounded by drinkers all encouraging you to "go ahead...one won't hurt!!!". The sobriety you have fought so hard for will seem, well, kind of silly. "Sure! You can have ONE! You deserve it!"

And so it goes. You are in the fight for your life here, so give yourself every advantage. Surround yourself, immerse yourself in sobriety. Stay away from drinking for awhile, and I mean as long as possible. Find something to do that you have always wanted to try, then do it. Spend your time enriching your new life. You deserve THAT!

leah333

I appreciate that. The thing is, I have 3 kids and NEVER get to go out. It wasn't like I just resumed party habits but happen to beat it one time. Most of my drinking was done alone at my own house. So for me, it was good for me to get out, and gave me a VERY powerful feeling of being able to be around it and still say no.

leah333

I want to develop the strong mindset that alcohol doesn't control me period. I don't want to hole up and be afraid to do anything because I "can't drink." If I do that, even though I'm not drinking it, it still controls me.

Cecilia44

leah I applaud you for making it through. I understand what you are saying about being home and having a place to go out, but I also agree with longbeachone. There may be a time that you give into temptation, especially so early in your sobriety.

Perhaps you can find more things to do outside of the home, with other people, that do not involve anyone drinking.

I would keep my guard up is all I am saying.

Hugs to you.

VikingGF

Congrats on 13!! I was at a party on DAY 2. It was so empowering, I took it as a fabulous jumping off point for the rest of my days. No joke. Everyone is different, for sure, but I hear where you are coming from and I feel your pride! Good for you, leah333!

leah333

Thank you Viking!!! I feel like it enriched my desire to quit drinking. I'm tired of being weak towards alcohol.

leah333

And thank you long beach and Cecilia. I know everyone has weak moments and temptation gets the best of you. But I truly believe last night was very good for me

leah333

One thing I forgot to mention is that I left when they all decided to go to the bar. I absolutely did draw the line there.

Hevyn

Great news, leah - glad you made it over that hurdle. I had some tests early on and it did strengthen me - though I acknowledge it's too risky for some. Well done, and I know you were happy with yourself this morning.

heartcore

Congratulations!!!

I too am of the belief that learning to move sober in a world drenched in alcohol is part of our "sober warrior" training. I use a lot of imagery in my growth, and do revert to the idea of the warrior chick, looking hot in her leather/spandex, who drinks water at parties because at any moment she may need to climb to the roof (catlike) to board the helicopter...I guess that's my way of creating an image of competent vs. Sloppy (which you noticed in the drunken girl).

I went to a friends house last night to watch a movie. We ate pizza and he drank beer and I drank iced teas. I told him before I went that if I felt uncomfortable, I'd leave before jeopardizing my sobriety. I came out of it feeling like you are this morning - an increased confidence, grounded & solid in my sobriety.

I agree with others that you want to tilt the field toward sober friends, activities, & events, but -for me - I need to sprinkle in safe and intentional opportunities to say "no" and move through the experience. I don't want to wait and have a first experience of being exposed to alcohol in sobriety which I haven't "practiced" for. I like the idea of small challenges, accomplished well to build my confidence.

Happy sober morning to you!

Dee74

I'm pleased it worked for you heartcore - and very pleased that you're going ok leah...but I tried the sober warrior/road test approach and fell flat on my face everytime.

To me that mindset got periously close to thinking I could control myself where alcohol is concerned.

I failed to take into acount that it's not just a matter of a decision, there's work that needs tro be done behind that.

For me I had to put clear distance between my old drink sodden life and the new one I wanted to create.

I needed time out to move from the old 'I can't say no' Dee to the man I wanted to be.

My advice is whatever you do, don't underestimate your addiction, or its insidiousness.

D

pattyj

I totally agree with you Leah on the fact that you don't want alcohol to control where and what you can and cannot do.
I did intensive outpatient for 9 months and constant AA meetings for a year. But I now have decided that I want a life that isn't based around recovery and my disease. I still go to meetings every now and then to check in and come on this site time and again to get a reality check. But... I could not have the life I have now without putting my head in the sand for the first year. I can now go to parties and bars and wherever else and have a great sober time. Bars aren't that great because its focus is drinking and most of the people there are acting stupid but I can walk into any place now and not have the faintest interest in alcohol. Like it was mentioned before, this is the fight for your life. Do what you have to do to survive right now. There will be friends and parties and gatherings forever but you need to be around to enjoy them. Good luck!!

leah333

I sincerely appreciate all the advice from everyone. Just like all of you, I will have to take it one day at a time. I feel very fortunate to be a part of SR. Cheers! (With Gatorade haha)

matthewlee

Nice work, I'm also on day 13. I've been in half a dozen social situations now where I've been the only non drinker. I don't mind it much for the first few rounds, but after that when everyone is at the slurring point I start becoming annoyed and reassure myself I'm doing the right thing by stopping. I'm also keeping a bottle of booze on my kitchen counter, it's been there the whole time. I figure that's the true test, having it in plain sight while at home and not opening it. so far so good!

leah333

I'm with you on the booze at home. For me it seems like it kinda keeps the anxiety in check. It's sitting right there, nothing has changed, other than now I have the power to choose. I know for some people it's a dangerous idea, but for me, I find it rather therapeutic to be able to look at it and say nah you can go %#^**#**%^*}<>^^. You've burned me way too many times so you can just sit there. Sounds crazy but it seems to be working for my crazy head

VikingGF

That is a line I won't cross, booze in my house if there is no one here to drink it. I don't mind if friends bring it here, but whatever is left leaves with them or it goes down the sink. While I have no issue abstaining out of the house, a bottle left alone here would, at this time, anyway, be a cause of concern. I don't think I could be 100% sure of myself. This was my favorite place drink. Good for you feeling so strong, wish I could say the same, leah333.

leah333

Thanks VikingGF