AlexEmk

Hi people,

First of all, let me just say that english is not my mother language, so thank you for understanding my poor english...

Second, well, here I am... just sick and tired of abusing alcohol!! Last night again, I had way to many and I was feeling sick this morning... but I had to get-up to go to work and to take care of my kids and I did, I always do...

I don't want to stop drinking alcohol completely, I love having a drink with friends and family on occasions, but I want to be able to control myself and right now, when my lips touches alcohol, I need the feeling, I need that buzz and i need to take quite alot to get to that state and when I get drunk, well then i'm happy and I stop drinking... I dont continue until I pass-out... I stop and manage to stay at that level until I go to bed.

The truth is that I get up every morning, I workout everyday and i do all the things that i need to do everyday, so alcohol doen't affect my life that much so I keep on drinking every friday night, saturday night and sunday afternoon... The rest of the week, I manage to stay sober even if it's almost always in my head, so as soon as the weekend comes, I just can't wait to have my buzz...

I would love to drink only on special occasions and just having 1 or 2 beers and be satisfied by that, but I'm far from beeing able to control myself that much!

I need tools, I need advice, I need your stories to help me out...

Thank You for listening

MnEman

Most of us here can't take it or leave it, and decide to quit altogether. Also, alcohol dependence can be progressive thing, meaning it will likely get worse over time- possibly much worse. Many people practice controlled drinking, but is tha how you want to spend your life- either drunk, or looking forward to the next drunk? Only you can answer this. Welcome to the community, you will find a lot of information here, and help if you decide to quit. Good luck!

anattaboy

Welcome Alex! Not so many tools here for moderating--most of us tried it earnestly and weren't able. Lotsa support and experience here for quitting and living sober. Best wishes...

Anna

Welcome,

Most, if not all of us here, have tried and failed at moderation. Moderating our drinking doesn't work for alcoholics. I hope that you look around and decide to stop drinking.

GotGrace

Welcome, Alex! I am glad you are here!

I can relate to what you wrote, I know that desire to be drink normally very well. Although I was able to do it for short periods of time, it never lasted and I always ended up drinking more than I knew was normal. It has been easier for me to stop drinking altogether. That eliminates the obsessive thoughts along with the guilt.

That being said, I hope you will continue to post and read on SR. There is so much support and understanding here!

AlexEmk

Maybe I'm just lying to myself and need to stop completely... I've always been like that in all aspects of my life, I'm either all-in or all-out... and now I try to control and down size my intake... I'm just lying in my own face!

If I'm here, if i get information and start reading on the subject, it's because I'm really tired and need a change!!

And the more I read stuff here, the more I want to quit and the more I feel the strenght to do so...

The main problem will be my wife, she's a weekend drinker too, but can have only 1 or 2 drinks and feel happy that way... her drinking in my face will be hard...

luvmygirls

Welcome! I agree with the others who have said that moderation only worked for me in the short term. I used to be a lot like you, highly functional. The decline happened slowly...first I cut back on workouts and upped my drinking. Then I stopped working out and upped my drinking again. Then I realized how much drinking helped me sleep, so gradually I figured it could help me with any stressful, or potentially stressful, situation in my life. Kids' birthday parties, Christmas Eve mass, picking out bathroom tiles, you name it. Still, I hear the voice that tells me, "you just have to control it! You just have to stop for a while and then see what happens!" Trying to silence that voice is the battle I'm desperately fighting. I really hope that you get the help you need, either now or in the future. I hope we all do.

Anna

Well, can you discuss the drinking issues with your wife and ask if she could not drink around you? She is not an alcoholic, so it may be hard for her to understand your feelings and she may or may not want to change her drinking habits. I'm glad you are thinking about stopping drinking for good. That's the way to get rid of the obsessive thoughts.

Soberwolf

Welcome to sober recovery alex

livingnow

Welcome here
Bonjour!

One thing you mentioned suggests to me that you may only gain victory or Alcohol by quitting completely.
"I would love to drink only on special occasions and just having 1 or 2 beers and be satisfied by that, but I'm far from being able to control myself that much!"

That is how most of us are ...and most of us are alcoholics.

We are here for you.

AlexEmk

I did talk to her many times and she already know how I feel about alcohol and that I would love to stop or slow down, so yeah, I need to talk to her again and she will help me for sure...

AlexEmk

I know I am one too... so yeah, I need to stop completely... I lied to myself for way too long!

HeartsAfire

Same story as you - thought I was highly functioning. Operative word being thought. It's only when I stopping clinging to abstinence and began fully embracing sobriety that I've realized I wasn't quite as on it as I thought. That's a lie our av tells us. Highly functional is simply a stage.

Alcohol is deceivingly progressive. I hope that you take these responses in and heed the warnings that have been written (don't mean that to sound as melodramatic as it might). Or better yet just do a search on the forum for "moderate" or "controlling intake" and see how it works out for most. Sure you'll think, "Oh, that's just them. They're weak. I can do it." And maybe you are the 1 alcohol abuser out of a million that can. If not though, we're here for you.

livingnow

"I know I am one too... so yeah, I need to stop completely... I lied to myself for way too long! "

OK, Good. You fit in here wonderfully!!
Spend some time here , looking at other posts, learning. Consider setting a quit date.
The very fact your here is a real good indicator that you will never be "happy" again while your pounding them back.....
The truth will MAKE you free.
I came here with the SAME EXACT issues and have learned a ton !!!-

AlexEmk

Thanks everyone... reading about your stories really helps me... I feel like stopping completely is possible now. It really gives me strenght!

Stopping date is TODAY! it won't be hard not to drink tonight because my hangover from yesturday is still affecting me right now and I surely don't feel like having my 2-3 afternoon beers like I always do on saturdays...

It's tomorrow (sunday bloose) and next weekend that I will spend more time here to seek support and read more of your stories... to give me the strenght to continue in sobriety...

Thanks again!

Hevyn

Welcome Alex! I'm so glad you joined us - this is the perfect place to help you figure things out.

I wanted more than anything to moderate & not let go. I hated to admit it was no longer fun or relaxing. I'd been drinking for a long time & couldn't imagine my life without it - but the 'buzz' was no longer worth it. It didn't feel the same - it brought nothing but unexpected troubles and drama. In the end it was actually easier to stop than to keep pretending I had control. It felt strange at first, but there is life after alcohol. I hope you'll stay with us and keep posting - it will help.

Hevyn

I was typing my reply & didn't see your last post. Good thinking Alex. You can do it.

BlissWithin

My first time trying to moderate was 5 years ago, I could do it for weeks at a time maybe, but after I would always go back drinking huge amounts. Abstinence is the key.

FreeOwl

Yeah.... I would too.....

But I tried for a lot of years. Sooner or later, it always failed.

SoberLeigh

Welcome to SR, Alex; glad you found this site.

Moderation was an abysmal failure for me - every single one of the thousands of times that I tried.

Hope you stick around; SR is amazing.