Newcomer -advice needed
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Bedworth
Posts: 1
Newcomer -advice needed
Hi
I am new to this site having finally been forced to deal with my alcohol problems. It has come to the point where I've lost various jobs through drinking, pushed most of my friends away (and the ones that are around are not very trusting of me) and i've pushed my family away, gotten into debt and all kinds of other things. Basically I've hit rock bottom. The one thing my family don't understand about my drinking, when I try and explain it as a compulsion, is that they can't understand how it's a 'compulsion' when I actively make the decision to go out and buy the alcohol and then drink it. This is something I can't answer and makes me feel like I SHOULD be making different decisions.....but then i've been doing the same for 10 years now.
Does anyone else have any experience of this?
Grateful for any general advice too on building trust and sticking with it......it feels like I have a huge mountain to climb at the moment......which just makes me feel like grabbing a bottle or 3 of wine and 'forgetting my troubles'.......the worst thing is I can't even put my drinking down to anything specific. I've read about so many people with horrific past experiences and I can't claim that to be the cause. I've always had low self-esteem and drinking just seems to be the only way I can feel better about myself.
I am new to this site having finally been forced to deal with my alcohol problems. It has come to the point where I've lost various jobs through drinking, pushed most of my friends away (and the ones that are around are not very trusting of me) and i've pushed my family away, gotten into debt and all kinds of other things. Basically I've hit rock bottom. The one thing my family don't understand about my drinking, when I try and explain it as a compulsion, is that they can't understand how it's a 'compulsion' when I actively make the decision to go out and buy the alcohol and then drink it. This is something I can't answer and makes me feel like I SHOULD be making different decisions.....but then i've been doing the same for 10 years now.
Does anyone else have any experience of this?
Grateful for any general advice too on building trust and sticking with it......it feels like I have a huge mountain to climb at the moment......which just makes me feel like grabbing a bottle or 3 of wine and 'forgetting my troubles'.......the worst thing is I can't even put my drinking down to anything specific. I've read about so many people with horrific past experiences and I can't claim that to be the cause. I've always had low self-esteem and drinking just seems to be the only way I can feel better about myself.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 819
The compulsion is addiction and yes it makes us plot and plan on drinking and drive to the liquor store etc....Right now, others don't need to understand it-you do. Read up on addiction. The AA Big Book is a good start even if you choose not to use AA. There are plenty of things right on this site to read that can help you.
Are you ready to quit drinking? You say you have been doing the same thing for 10 yrs. If you keep doing what you are doing, you are going to keep getting what you get. The results won't change until you do.
As for the trust, you need to build that back up slowly and the only way to really do that is through
actions. Once you are sober, people will begin to trust you again. Don't look at this as a big mountain to climb. I know it sounds cliche but one day at a time! Looking too far into the future is putting yourself in a pressure cooker.
You have come to the right place. The people here have helped me remain sober. We all know how you feel. Keep posting. We are here for you.
Are you ready to quit drinking? You say you have been doing the same thing for 10 yrs. If you keep doing what you are doing, you are going to keep getting what you get. The results won't change until you do.
As for the trust, you need to build that back up slowly and the only way to really do that is through
actions. Once you are sober, people will begin to trust you again. Don't look at this as a big mountain to climb. I know it sounds cliche but one day at a time! Looking too far into the future is putting yourself in a pressure cooker.
You have come to the right place. The people here have helped me remain sober. We all know how you feel. Keep posting. We are here for you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Welcome to SR, Malleryknoxx.
I second Sugarbear; there is so much involved in achieving sobriety; abstinence is only a part; getting to the root of the reasons why we use alcohol as a coping tool and resolving/changing them is another part and, in many ways, the more important part.
Again, welcome; SR is here for you.
I second Sugarbear; there is so much involved in achieving sobriety; abstinence is only a part; getting to the root of the reasons why we use alcohol as a coping tool and resolving/changing them is another part and, in many ways, the more important part.
Again, welcome; SR is here for you.
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