ontherightpath

Had a complete mental relapse last night. Thinking about taking pills like norco, or smoking weed, or smoking hash oil or something. Anything that would give me a buzz. As long as it wasn't alcohol. I didn't follow through, but my mind was off to the races. I woke up this morning feeling pretty crummy about those thoughts. Addiction is cunning baffling powerful. 25 days without a drink. I suppose this is just part of recovery, and I did have a bad day yesterday, so I presume that's where these thoughts came from. On a side note, I don't like weed and was prescribed norcos for my tooth and jaw, but I didn't abuse them. Just needed to share.

sprout50

Addiction is a sneaky little thing. Good for you not giving in!

ontherightpath

And I think it's important to say this: sharing these feelings will help my sobriety grow. While I am glad that I didn't give in, it's not enough to just not drink or pick up. That makes me dry. White knuckling has never taught me anything, other than it's uncomfortable.

instant

Its what you do that is important- just keep going- every day is a new one

Hobbers

Hash oil? in the Midwest? Huh... can't say I even know anyone who has done that. Sounds dreadful (and smelly) if you ask me. Don't do it.

Get 'high' off a fast walk! Play a thrilling video game! Go get laid! Eat a big bar of dark chocolate! Lots of ways to get high that are healthier than drugs.

Anna

I'm glad you got through that.

GirlinASwing

So impressed! I am finding that I will need a replacement activity---and, God help me, it will probably be going to the gym! Eeeek!! When the mental obsession begins, I need to kick into another gear that is a complete counter attack.

God bless you as we all heal together!

PurpleKnight

Great job on pushing through!!

Dee74

Mental relapse? my thoughts about getting 'out of it' were pretty much involuntary in early recovery

It's good you're vigilant, but thoughts are thoughts.

It's what we do in response that counts - and you didn't feed those thoughts and you eoke up sober and clean today.

I don't call that any kind of failure at all

D

Soberwolf

Love it when D posts like this the 'pretty much involuntary in early recovery' part holds so much truth it is so real

Love this post

ontherightpath

Thanks all. I did get thru it. It's not a failure, but I feel like I'm not supposed to have these thoughts. I have never shared them before and that is what always led me to relapse. Lack of honesty. I was honest and open about it all. My husband is away working right now. He has ticked me off so much, that instead if arguing with him, I blocked his number. Can't receive calls or texts from him. And I need that right now. Ahhhh..... True space!!!!!! My son showed off his new skills from home ec, and made dinner!!!! So I am doing laundry and getting ready to find my comfy spot on the couch. Hopefully tonight I can sleep. Thanks for being here peeps! Means the world to me!