Scared of life scared of change
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 399
Scared of life scared of change
Hi guys,
It's been a while. I've done so much work on myself... It's ridiculous but great.. Lots of change coming about with living arrangements, dynamics with friends, pressure at work.. Hearing all of this horrible news on TV, fearing for my child's life now that I understand what it means to be a parent and responsible, financial fears, so
Many decisions to make, working with government agencies to help me move forward, working with friends, having a girlfriend move in temp to help me out.. Even with her help which is so helpful having lost the space I am so used and having lost the loneliness I've grown accustomed to is stressing me out..
Now that I have shed another layer, I fear I have so much to lose in this world. As I find my life.. The challenges are greater and more frightening... The pressure of life is all too much
As Joyce Meyer says... New level new devil..
I'm just venting so thanks for reading this
It's been a while. I've done so much work on myself... It's ridiculous but great.. Lots of change coming about with living arrangements, dynamics with friends, pressure at work.. Hearing all of this horrible news on TV, fearing for my child's life now that I understand what it means to be a parent and responsible, financial fears, so
Many decisions to make, working with government agencies to help me move forward, working with friends, having a girlfriend move in temp to help me out.. Even with her help which is so helpful having lost the space I am so used and having lost the loneliness I've grown accustomed to is stressing me out..
Now that I have shed another layer, I fear I have so much to lose in this world. As I find my life.. The challenges are greater and more frightening... The pressure of life is all too much
As Joyce Meyer says... New level new devil..
I'm just venting so thanks for reading this
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
It really is one day at a time. Future tripping for yourself or your children is something that is not healthy to do at all. Make your goal to be the best you can be for today. Tomorrow is a new day!
Glad to hear about the positive things happening in your life!
XXX
Glad to hear about the positive things happening in your life!
XXX
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
Since you're quoting Joyce Meyer I kinda feel like it's OK to quote the Bible and give you a little story? I'm no theologian, I've got my feet deep down in the dirt and that's how I have to understand spiritual things, in a way that makes sense to me.
So remember how the Bible says "Your Word is a light unto my path and a lamp unto my feet"? I always found that weird -- a lamp to my feet? So here's the explanation: When the people of Israel were out poking around in the desert, it was dark. And sometimes they had to walk on narrow paths in the dark. And there was an international shortage of flashlights back in those days. So instead, they had walking staffs with a little shelf right towards the bottom, where they could put a little light. The light wouldn't light up their faces -- because they didn't need that. It wouldn't light up a mile ahead -- because they didn't need that. It would light up just enough of the path that they could see where to put their next step down.
That's how I've had to rely on my HP (I call him "Jesus") during tough parts of my life. Exactly like that. I may not know how I'm going to make it to dinner, but I have enough Jesus to be able to take the next step -- choose what kind of milk to buy or make the next phone call.
Also -- when you're sad/grieving/depressed, you have funhouse glasses on. You can't adequately assess the risks/rewards of the future because all you see is gray-gray-gray-gray with a little bit of really dark black mixed in. That's not reality. It's what your emotions are making reality look like. It always helps me to remember that. ((hugs))
So remember how the Bible says "Your Word is a light unto my path and a lamp unto my feet"? I always found that weird -- a lamp to my feet? So here's the explanation: When the people of Israel were out poking around in the desert, it was dark. And sometimes they had to walk on narrow paths in the dark. And there was an international shortage of flashlights back in those days. So instead, they had walking staffs with a little shelf right towards the bottom, where they could put a little light. The light wouldn't light up their faces -- because they didn't need that. It wouldn't light up a mile ahead -- because they didn't need that. It would light up just enough of the path that they could see where to put their next step down.
That's how I've had to rely on my HP (I call him "Jesus") during tough parts of my life. Exactly like that. I may not know how I'm going to make it to dinner, but I have enough Jesus to be able to take the next step -- choose what kind of milk to buy or make the next phone call.
Also -- when you're sad/grieving/depressed, you have funhouse glasses on. You can't adequately assess the risks/rewards of the future because all you see is gray-gray-gray-gray with a little bit of really dark black mixed in. That's not reality. It's what your emotions are making reality look like. It always helps me to remember that. ((hugs))
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
Best thing is to release the fear, the fear is worse than the reality.
Sounds like you are doing some really smart things. You will be fine.
First 6 months of my business opening I constantly poured over bank balance and worried about the waht ifs. Beyond it now. Don't even worry at all. What the f**k is the worst that can happen? Out of business? oh well. Seriously, I don't mean to make light of it because its a big deal, but once you release the "what ifs" the answers of what to do are right in front of you.
Sounds like you are doing some really smart things. You will be fine.
First 6 months of my business opening I constantly poured over bank balance and worried about the waht ifs. Beyond it now. Don't even worry at all. What the f**k is the worst that can happen? Out of business? oh well. Seriously, I don't mean to make light of it because its a big deal, but once you release the "what ifs" the answers of what to do are right in front of you.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
lillamy.....this is superficial of me....and I know it seems to be picky.....but---are you trying to say that there were flashlights when the bible was written???
Can you 'splain this to me Lucy?
dandylion
Can you 'splain this to me Lucy?
dandylion
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 399
Thanks guys.. I hate facing my fears... It hurts so much, all I want to do is run and hide and be angry and follow the nature of this world.. But I know I can't be the old me anymore. It's always one thing after another.. Never ending thoughts.
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 56
Hi killerinstinct,
First off--love your avatar pic. Black cats are close to my heart.
I'm super guilty of future-tripping. While I have no words of wisdom or anything like that--I feel where you're coming from and how the worries and fears can get you down. As others have said here--and elsewhere--one day at a time is something I'm trying really hard to keep in my mind.
I'm glad you're here and look forward to hearing more from you!
First off--love your avatar pic. Black cats are close to my heart.
I'm super guilty of future-tripping. While I have no words of wisdom or anything like that--I feel where you're coming from and how the worries and fears can get you down. As others have said here--and elsewhere--one day at a time is something I'm trying really hard to keep in my mind.
I'm glad you're here and look forward to hearing more from you!
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