Almost 2 years
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Earth
Posts: 607
Almost 2 years
Been reading posts on here for a long time and figured I'd sign in. I'm 51 have adult kids and a couple of grand kids. Not going to get into my war story but I drank for years and usually too much. Got into a bad place in my life got really depressed and started self medicating with gallons of vodka. Long story short, wife was going to leave me,
I went to rehab (What a racket). Did a bunch of time in AA. Now I'm 2 years sober.
My problem now is I'm board out of my skull. Everyone I know drinks and I now can't stand being with drunk people. I absolutely hate AA. If I had to listen to one more slogan or Mr. Bill quote, I think I would have had to make race to the liquor store. I really don't think it is healthy for me to replace a chemical addiction with a life in a cult.
My wife I don't think understands why I don't go with her to neighbors parties and what not. She hardly drinks but always defends everyone who does get stinking drunk at these functions and says they aren't that bad. I'm not judging them all I just see my drunk old self in others and I'm done with that. I guess I need a hobby.
Any thoughts?
I went to rehab (What a racket). Did a bunch of time in AA. Now I'm 2 years sober.
My problem now is I'm board out of my skull. Everyone I know drinks and I now can't stand being with drunk people. I absolutely hate AA. If I had to listen to one more slogan or Mr. Bill quote, I think I would have had to make race to the liquor store. I really don't think it is healthy for me to replace a chemical addiction with a life in a cult.
My wife I don't think understands why I don't go with her to neighbors parties and what not. She hardly drinks but always defends everyone who does get stinking drunk at these functions and says they aren't that bad. I'm not judging them all I just see my drunk old self in others and I'm done with that. I guess I need a hobby.
Any thoughts?
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
Hi esinger 
I understand you don't like AA - that's perfectly fine with me, but we ask that everyone try and have respect for all methods here in this forum....noones gonna make you do anything you don't want to do
I pretty much built a whole new life...found a lot of new friends where the basis of our friendship wasn't alcohol, and pursued a lot of new interests.
You've got a new life. What would you like to do with it?
D
I understand you don't like AA - that's perfectly fine with me, but we ask that everyone try and have respect for all methods here in this forum....noones gonna make you do anything you don't want to do
I pretty much built a whole new life...found a lot of new friends where the basis of our friendship wasn't alcohol, and pursued a lot of new interests.
You've got a new life. What would you like to do with it?
D
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
needlepoint?
Fishing? yeah, fishing sounds good to me. I'm sure if you put your mind to it there is something in your area. Perhaps you and your wife can do something together, find some new interest to get out and exercise.
Congratulations on almost 2 years. Perhaps find something to volunteer time to that takes the place of something else you lost interest in.
Fishing? yeah, fishing sounds good to me. I'm sure if you put your mind to it there is something in your area. Perhaps you and your wife can do something together, find some new interest to get out and exercise.
Congratulations on almost 2 years. Perhaps find something to volunteer time to that takes the place of something else you lost interest in.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 70
I agree with volunteering. Find a cause you want to help like a food bank or something. Helping others will give you a sense of purpose and you'll probably make some new (hopefully sober) friends. Just don't take up golfing. Too much booze around ha!
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Earth
Posts: 607
D, Sorry for the AA bashing. Met some good people, took what I needed and left. Left a bad taste in my mouth but that's my problem. You are right I have a whole new life. I am unfortunately still stuck in my old life's environment. Drinking is a huge part of the culture around here and with much of my family. My sobriety is pretty secure. I've analyzed the crap out of science of addiction and the thought of ever taking another drink disgusts me. Got to figure out how to move on with out alienating everyone I care about. Fishing is good but the fish you catch here usually have three eyes. Have thought about volunteering just need to act on my thoughts. (Chronic procrastinator)
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome to the Forum!! 
I had to really think about my hobbies/interests when I got Sober, because when I took away drinking my life was pretty boring, I didn't do much else, but when I finally started to do other things, new people entered my life!!
I had to really think about my hobbies/interests when I got Sober, because when I took away drinking my life was pretty boring, I didn't do much else, but when I finally started to do other things, new people entered my life!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,003
Hi Esinger
Welcome to SR ! Wow, you're pretty young to have grand kids ! Anyway, have you tried any spiritual practices ? In my journey so far, I have found it to be very absorbing and to be honest I am rarely bored There is always something to practice !
Welcome to SR ! Wow, you're pretty young to have grand kids ! Anyway, have you tried any spiritual practices ? In my journey so far, I have found it to be very absorbing and to be honest I am rarely bored
There is always something to practice !
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: My city of ruins...
Posts: 593
Hi and welcome esinger -
I am at 2 years too. I am strong in my sobriety and followed a similar path. I quit, went to AA for a few months, and once I got my sea legs I found that meetings were not as helpful once the initial shock of being a non-drinker wore off.
I do use some of the tools taught in AA and they are very helpful. If I ever find myself in a very dangerous head space and heading for a drink I would definitely head to a face-to-face meeting instead. But, for my daily support I use SR exclusively. And it works for me. I check in a few times a day, read posts, occasionally respond and always search the boards if I have a particular issue I'd like help on. It is a wonderful tool.
That said, I have found sobriety to be lonely as well. Although I do enjoy being alone I have had to let some friendships go because the friends were active addicts. It's not so much that they pressure me to drink, they wouldn't do that, but they don't understand that I don't want to do the same things I used to do in the past. Everything we did, and I mean everything, involved drinking in some way. Casinos, hotels, restaurants, even just sitting around watching TV were all drinking activities for us. Not only do I not want to do those things anymore I find myself annoyed with drunken behavior to the point that I just want to leave anyway. I am fully aware that I used to be the drunk person and I don't judge them, but sober I just can't find the patience. And so I don't participate. And that equals a pretty limited social life since these friends were the only ones I had.
Overall, I've accepted that in order to live the life I want I cannot live the life I had. I set boundaries with these friends and didn't ditch them completely but contact is limited to what I feel comfortable with.
Now that I am strong in my sobriety I look forward to building a fulfilling life with other activities and friends but it did take me these 2 years to reach this point.
The suggestions made here on the thread are good ones and I will be taking their advice as well. In the end, I'd rather be sober and alone than drunk and surrounded by equally sick people.
Hang in there and I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone
I am at 2 years too. I am strong in my sobriety and followed a similar path. I quit, went to AA for a few months, and once I got my sea legs I found that meetings were not as helpful once the initial shock of being a non-drinker wore off.
I do use some of the tools taught in AA and they are very helpful. If I ever find myself in a very dangerous head space and heading for a drink I would definitely head to a face-to-face meeting instead. But, for my daily support I use SR exclusively. And it works for me. I check in a few times a day, read posts, occasionally respond and always search the boards if I have a particular issue I'd like help on. It is a wonderful tool.
That said, I have found sobriety to be lonely as well. Although I do enjoy being alone I have had to let some friendships go because the friends were active addicts. It's not so much that they pressure me to drink, they wouldn't do that, but they don't understand that I don't want to do the same things I used to do in the past. Everything we did, and I mean everything, involved drinking in some way. Casinos, hotels, restaurants, even just sitting around watching TV were all drinking activities for us. Not only do I not want to do those things anymore I find myself annoyed with drunken behavior to the point that I just want to leave anyway. I am fully aware that I used to be the drunk person and I don't judge them, but sober I just can't find the patience. And so I don't participate. And that equals a pretty limited social life since these friends were the only ones I had.
Overall, I've accepted that in order to live the life I want I cannot live the life I had. I set boundaries with these friends and didn't ditch them completely but contact is limited to what I feel comfortable with.
Now that I am strong in my sobriety I look forward to building a fulfilling life with other activities and friends but it did take me these 2 years to reach this point.
The suggestions made here on the thread are good ones and I will be taking their advice as well. In the end, I'd rather be sober and alone than drunk and surrounded by equally sick people.
Hang in there and I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Earth
Posts: 607
Thanks IWILLWIN,
I think you get it. You don't really understand how much alcohol is infused in our culture in this country until you are looking in from the outside. I am also not judging those who don't seek my path, it's not their fault that I fell on my face. I take full responsibility for my actions and realize that I m the only one that has the power to climb out of it. I'm pretty sure I know what actions I need to take I just need to take action. The reason I joined this sight was to help me get some others peoples perspective.
Thank you all for the advice and welcoming me to this sight.
I think you get it. You don't really understand how much alcohol is infused in our culture in this country until you are looking in from the outside. I am also not judging those who don't seek my path, it's not their fault that I fell on my face. I take full responsibility for my actions and realize that I m the only one that has the power to climb out of it. I'm pretty sure I know what actions I need to take I just need to take action. The reason I joined this sight was to help me get some others peoples perspective.
Thank you all for the advice and welcoming me to this sight.
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