yumbby

Hi, I'm reading and reading and trying to learn and see that many codependent people get caught up with blaming others, I feel just the opposite, I tend to blame myself to much. Can you help me understand how this fits in and what your experiences are on how to get a balance, because blaming yourself too much seems to be debilitating.. maybe i'm not understanding this correctly.

yumbby

Also, it seems that everything I read seems to lean toward me leaving (even tho he is trying to get better) but at the same time I don't want to do the withdrawl/ run away thing either? I'm kinda getting confused.

Chino

The blame game goes both directions -- inward and or outward. Some people do both.

I broke the blame game cycle by learning to discern what was my responsibility or not. Generally speaking, I'm responsible for my own life, happiness, decisions and choices.

atalose

If I believe that I have the ability to make someone drink, that their drinking is my fault then I would think I have the ability to make them stop! Neither are true!! And for many years I was caught in that thinking cycle.

I was the most loving, giving, understanding people pleaser you ever met – where everything was all about ME. Never saw myself as selfish but when I think about how my thinking was back in the day – it was very self-centered in an extremely insecure way.