This is really hard
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 234
This is really hard
I have been trying to quit again.This is day one so here I am. I still quit at 2-3 glasses of wine and some days I don't drink. My drinking isn't that bad and I am not getting drunk but I am having a couple of drinks to deal with stress. It is a problem for me not because of how much I drink, but that I drink every day or almost every day and I can't stop.
I had to leave my home and go to another state to take care of my elderly mother. I am completely out of my element. Stress is very high. My mom is very ill and I have come to be her full time caregiver. Exercise and healthy eating are difficult to come by as I spend so much time in the hospital. I come out of the hospital tired, hungry, stressed, worried, so I stop to eat something and have some wine. I have noticed a huge relationship between sugar and alcohol. I am binging on sugar, which in turn messes up my blood sugar and I am more susceptible to drinking. So I am back and ready to commit again. I think if I make it back to a few days not drinking I can start to get my resolve back. I am hoping that my commitment on SR will make me accountable and I will get the resolve back that I had before. Here we go.
I had to leave my home and go to another state to take care of my elderly mother. I am completely out of my element. Stress is very high. My mom is very ill and I have come to be her full time caregiver. Exercise and healthy eating are difficult to come by as I spend so much time in the hospital. I come out of the hospital tired, hungry, stressed, worried, so I stop to eat something and have some wine. I have noticed a huge relationship between sugar and alcohol. I am binging on sugar, which in turn messes up my blood sugar and I am more susceptible to drinking. So I am back and ready to commit again. I think if I make it back to a few days not drinking I can start to get my resolve back. I am hoping that my commitment on SR will make me accountable and I will get the resolve back that I had before. Here we go.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Good to see you back and making the commitment.
I agree that sugar and alcohol are linked for alcoholics...but sugar actually helped me get off alcohol. I rarely ate sugar when I was drinking - didn't need to, the alcohol was pure sugar.
I would gently suggest that you find a way to get some exercise, regardless. If you have to, climb the steps between floors at the hospital for 30 minutes. Walk or run around the hospital grounds. You have a cell phone, right? Then they can reach you and exercise is going to be something that can really keep you grounded during this stressful time with your mom.
Take care of yourself - you're important. The doctors and nurses can care for your mom.
I agree that sugar and alcohol are linked for alcoholics...but sugar actually helped me get off alcohol. I rarely ate sugar when I was drinking - didn't need to, the alcohol was pure sugar.
I would gently suggest that you find a way to get some exercise, regardless. If you have to, climb the steps between floors at the hospital for 30 minutes. Walk or run around the hospital grounds. You have a cell phone, right? Then they can reach you and exercise is going to be something that can really keep you grounded during this stressful time with your mom.
Take care of yourself - you're important. The doctors and nurses can care for your mom.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
My slide into the type of drinking that led to my need to quit started with my mom's illness and going into hospice. Me and my sisters were her care givers. But I handled it poorly, with my drinking going off the charts.
I don't have a lot of regrets, but not being fully there for my mom and using her illness as a reason to drink is one of them.
Halt your drinking now, if you can. Good luck.
I don't have a lot of regrets, but not being fully there for my mom and using her illness as a reason to drink is one of them.
Halt your drinking now, if you can. Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,358
I'm sorry for these hard times, Mindful. And I'm glad for your resolve to get through them sober. I also drank two or three glasses of wine at a time and did not have withdrawal when I quit. I am thankful for coming to the realization that my drinking was a problem for me because most of the time those two or there glasses were needing to increase to three or four. My thoughts and prayers go out to you, Mindful.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 234
Thanks to you all. Man, I am scared how I will hold up to this full time caregiver thing. I have never been close to my mom, we are different in every way. I have always respected her and kept my own opinions to myself. I have helped to support her and my dad for the last 15 years, but living in her home and taking care of here 24/7 is a whole new thing. I know I can do it because I have to do it. I feel the depression and despair creeping up on me. I know that is made worse by alcohol. I need all my wits, patience and strength right now. And it isn't going to come in a glass.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
you will find, if you so desire, that dealing with stress comes a lot more readily, more easily, more effectively WITHOUT alcohol.
I'm glad you're making progress..... but I'd like to reflect to you that even the progress seems to be indicative of a person still caught in dependence.
I went through many a period of telling myself I was 'doing better' and pointing at a few days here, a few days there without drinking. Pointing at drinking "just a few".
For me, the fact is I was still just altering the dosage of the toxin I was using as 'medication'. I was merely toying with same chemical balance and response - not actually changing anything.
A few months into being actually sober I could tell a difference..... nearly nine months into it, I can see clearly how different it is.
In your circumstance, it's understandable that you're finding it a challenge to make the total change - yet I'd like to tell you very clearly; if you do choose to face life with fully-present, clear-headed sobriety.... you will find it to make an incredible difference and give you so much more power to be there for your Mom... to really get to know her.... to really let her know YOU....
And in this short, precious life.... those will be gifts that you will find yourself immeasurably grateful for.
Keep on posting, keep on NOT drinking.... keep on sharing and we'll be here to help.
I'm glad you're making progress..... but I'd like to reflect to you that even the progress seems to be indicative of a person still caught in dependence.
I went through many a period of telling myself I was 'doing better' and pointing at a few days here, a few days there without drinking. Pointing at drinking "just a few".
For me, the fact is I was still just altering the dosage of the toxin I was using as 'medication'. I was merely toying with same chemical balance and response - not actually changing anything.
A few months into being actually sober I could tell a difference..... nearly nine months into it, I can see clearly how different it is.
In your circumstance, it's understandable that you're finding it a challenge to make the total change - yet I'd like to tell you very clearly; if you do choose to face life with fully-present, clear-headed sobriety.... you will find it to make an incredible difference and give you so much more power to be there for your Mom... to really get to know her.... to really let her know YOU....
And in this short, precious life.... those will be gifts that you will find yourself immeasurably grateful for.
Keep on posting, keep on NOT drinking.... keep on sharing and we'll be here to help.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
Oh my, how difficult for you please cut down on your drinking or quit altogether, but do it safely?
Sounds like you have a lot of stress my friend? How are you dealing with your stress outside of drinking? If drinking is it, how/what can you do to not drink and deal with the stress on your own.?
Going to another state, sick family. Wow, take things one step at a time, write down what you want, where you are, and how to accomplish your goals. I understand all I have to offer our words, but now is time for action on your part.
Take a tiny steps, what can you do today to improve how you are, can you get local and in person support. If not we're here for support, post often and ask for help.
The only advice I can proffer is what can you do in the here and now to help you? How do you seperate yourself from drinking? What plans/plan can help you achieve even the smallest of goals,?
Good day friend, drinking doesn't solve anything, be safe and if you need anything PM me, if you want to rant rave, go off on me, I know how difficult things can be, I am here for you, be well friend.
Sounds like you have a lot of stress my friend? How are you dealing with your stress outside of drinking? If drinking is it, how/what can you do to not drink and deal with the stress on your own.?
Going to another state, sick family. Wow, take things one step at a time, write down what you want, where you are, and how to accomplish your goals. I understand all I have to offer our words, but now is time for action on your part.
Take a tiny steps, what can you do today to improve how you are, can you get local and in person support. If not we're here for support, post often and ask for help.
The only advice I can proffer is what can you do in the here and now to help you? How do you seperate yourself from drinking? What plans/plan can help you achieve even the smallest of goals,?
Good day friend, drinking doesn't solve anything, be safe and if you need anything PM me, if you want to rant rave, go off on me, I know how difficult things can be, I am here for you, be well friend.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,385
Hi ML 
Being a carer for someone is very difficult. Have you got people to help? many communities have home help services that might be able to come and help out givbing you a break sometimes.
Many towns have carer support groups too.
If stress is the problem then there should be some ways to lessen that without turning to alcohol
D
Being a carer for someone is very difficult. Have you got people to help? many communities have home help services that might be able to come and help out givbing you a break sometimes.
Many towns have carer support groups too.
If stress is the problem then there should be some ways to lessen that without turning to alcohol
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Mindful, I hope that you don't push yourself too far while caring for your mother. It's a very difficult position for you to be in and I do hope that you can get some help. You said she is in a hospital and I wonder if they have volunteers who might help you out.
I'm glad you noted the connection between sugar and alcohol. I have always had low-blood sugar but managed it well, with diet. I had no idea that it was one of the things that made me more prone to alcoholism. To me, the alcohol was pure sugar to my blood stream and my body instantly craved more and more.
I'm glad you noted the connection between sugar and alcohol. I have always had low-blood sugar but managed it well, with diet. I had no idea that it was one of the things that made me more prone to alcoholism. To me, the alcohol was pure sugar to my blood stream and my body instantly craved more and more.
Hopeful
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 140
Mindful, it's great that you are here NOW. You are in a terribly stressful situation and you need the support of others who understand those hard desires for liquid strength. As many others have said, make sure that you do things to take care of YOU. Hang in there
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 596
Originally Posted by MindfulLiving 
I have been trying to quit again.This is day one so here I am. I still quit at 2-3 glasses of wine and some days I don't drink. My drinking isn't that bad and I am not getting drunk but I am having a couple of drinks to deal with stress. It is a problem for me not because of how much I drink, but that I drink every day or almost every day and I can't stop.
I had to leave my home and go to another state to take care of my elderly mother. I am completely out of my element. Stress is very high. My mom is very ill and I have come to be her full time caregiver. Exercise and healthy eating are difficult to come by as I spend so much time in the hospital. I come out of the hospital tired, hungry, stressed, worried, so I stop to eat something and have some wine. I have noticed a huge relationship between sugar and alcohol. I am binging on sugar, which in turn messes up my blood sugar and I am more susceptible to drinking. So I am back and ready to commit again. I think if I make it back to a few days not drinking I can start to get my resolve back. I am hoping that my commitment on SR will make me accountable and I will get the resolve back that I had before. Here we go.
I had to leave my home and go to another state to take care of my elderly mother. I am completely out of my element. Stress is very high. My mom is very ill and I have come to be her full time caregiver. Exercise and healthy eating are difficult to come by as I spend so much time in the hospital. I come out of the hospital tired, hungry, stressed, worried, so I stop to eat something and have some wine. I have noticed a huge relationship between sugar and alcohol. I am binging on sugar, which in turn messes up my blood sugar and I am more susceptible to drinking. So I am back and ready to commit again. I think if I make it back to a few days not drinking I can start to get my resolve back. I am hoping that my commitment on SR will make me accountable and I will get the resolve back that I had before. Here we go.
If you are able to see quitting as a positive and healthy decision rather than as a sacrifice of something "pleasurable" or a "de-stresser" it will be easier to stay stopped. Your stress will go down if you quit drinking, that is a near certainty.
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