closetlobster

Well, it has now been a whole week since I've had my last drink.

I just came off a five day bender of drinking -> sleeping -> drinking ->...

I woke up after five days, sweating and feeling 'detached' from my body. I was also unable to hold any food or drink down. Laying in bed with constant bouts of nausea.

I managed to drag myself out of bed and into the lounge where everything made me nervous and my chest felt tight and heavy. Luckily, I live in the UK and we have free health service, and I was able to phone their non-emergency advice hotline. They advised I took myself to a 'drop in clinic' within the hour.

An hour later, I was pacing up and down and hyper-alert of everything around me. I felt a sense of impending doom...like the end was very near. Not nice at all!

As the nurse took my BP, glucose test, and heart rate I almost felt like crying...anxious, guilty and disappointed with the state I had got myself in.

I was later sent for a major blood-test then discharged.

For the next few days the depression, shortness of breath and anxiety began to fade. One thing that persisted were the nightmares. The first night off the booze, I had some of the most intense, gruesome and vivid nightmares I've ever had. I won't bother going into them here - but they all involved my death in a really brutal way.

Over the course of last week, I have still been dreaming but the horridness of the dreams has decreased gradually every day.

Last night, I had my first night of peaceful sleep.

This was my first experience with withdrawal ...

Has anyone else had similar? More specifically, did you experience the bad dreams/nightmares?

VikingGF

Hi, closetlobster- I love your name. Congrats on your sober time. Smart of you to seek out medical help, you should start feeling better day by day, with a few days where you will be tired, irritable, sad, it's a roller coaster! But hang right in there, because I promise it's worth it. As for the dreams, my dreams were SO vivid the first week, but not really nightmares. I have heard that is a common thing, though. Now, I don't really even dream at all, just a good, sound sleep all night long.

Glad you are here!

NorMar

Oh yeah, those dreams. They would start just a few minutes after I finally fell asleep, and immediately wake me up. Would really make me mad, I wanted to sleep so bad. Sometimes accompanied by a loud scream, like someone was hollering in my ear, or a gunshot type noise.

Also had another thing happen, I got to calling "Zombie Sleep". I would lay there not awake, not asleep. Aware of my surroundings, but not quite awake. Would cut my eyes at the clock, and a couple of hours would have gone by, when I thought it was just a few minutes.....Seemed like I was awake all night. I think I hated that more than the dreams.

Kevin78

Welcome Closetlobster, As a binge drinker, Your withdrawal experience is exactly the same as mine. They also get worse. This doesn't need to happen anymore.

AceKJD83

I hate those dreams. I had a couple of relapses caused specifically by how brutally personal and vivid the nightmares were. Mine persist for about 3 or 4 nights. Tonight is night number 2...
You aren't alone and will make it through them.

zerothehero

I never want to do it again. Nightmares were welcome respite from consciousness, which I had been avoiding far too long. The anxiety was like grasping onto an electric fence. I really wondered if it was worth it. It definitely was. Hangovers are supposed to remind us that alcohol is poison. If that's not enough, withdrawal reminds us that we can be our own poison.

grubby

My experience with withdrawal ~ first week-ish:

- didn't sleep like AT ALL for 2 weeks, and then for weeks after that i got mostly crappy sleep (2-4 hours a night). The one thing i remember is that NOTHING worked to make me feel sleepy, it was SCARY insomnia!! I had never experienced anything like it in my entire life. The first week was ground zero, i vaguely remember taking a "maximum strength" sleep pill on day 2 or 3 and it had no effect whatsoever...... i laid in my bed awake literally until the sun came up!

- Blood pressure obviously high and the "pounding" heart sound, the "pounding" heart sound only complicated the severe insomnia at night.

- Lots of anxiety that created a false sense of being short on breath, radiating sensations, headaches, chest pain, and irritability.

Those are the three things in particular that i remember from that BRUTAL first week off booze. There was probably more but to be honest i was so foggy-headed from the lack of sleep that i can't really remember the other symptoms. Needless to say i felt like crap due to the lack of sleep, energy hovered around 30-40% for the whole week. I was caught completely off guard by the whole thing and it was an awful experience.

Unfortunately living in the US there is no equivalent "free" healthcare, so i had to ride it out on my own. At the time an un-insured ER visit would have cost an arm and a leg - which i simply didnt have.

That said, knowing what i know now (that withdrawal is potentially deadly), if i were to do the whole thing all over again i would probably have gotten myself to a hospital ASAP and dealt with and worried about the huge bill later.

You can't put a price on your life.

Tonymblue

Mine were the same. The nausea was so bad i couldnt hold anything down for about a day and a half. I would vomit about 6 times a day up until about the end of the fourth day.

The anxiety was so bad i would have panic attacks and honestly felt like my world would come to an end. That slowly dissipated after about 2 weeks.

The insomnia/nightmares were terrifying. The one thing i wanted was to sleep, but couldnt. When i did sleep it was like i was half asleep half awake. Minutes went by like hours. The nightmares were terrible. It was like having panic attacks during the night.

Cant believe that i did that to myself. Over and over again. Once i drank too much i knew that i had to continue to avoid the withdrawals. Until i just tried to power through them. Never want that to happen again.

SnowDawg

Half awake, half asleep. Dazed. Auditory hallucinations. Absolutely terrifying. Extreme restless leg syndrome. Rocking back and forth. There was a hawk outside my house giving his call. I will never forget the sound. Felt like I was in a living horror movie. I actually think that could've been an auditory hallucination.
I will never choose to relive those three days.

AceKJD83

Just finished night 2 and like people said above the insomnia, vivid dreams and auditory hallucinations make for some rough nights.
I tried something new last night; after being awake until 2 I tried falling asleep to the baby channel on tv. Sounds weird but it was so calm with steady sound that I don't remember any other sound and instead of horrible nightmares they were just strange vivid dreams. I slept for a solid 4 hours on day 2!
Idk if it was a one-off thing but if you struggle with the nightmares during withdrawal like I did then you look for anything to get through

anattaboy

My sleep issues were worse while drinking. I dropped my intake considerably for 2 weeks prior to stopping and took loads of vitamins and had 2 nights of sketchy sleep. You sound like you weathered the worst-Congrats!

Jupiters

welcome CL
I agree with Kevin. Former binge'r here and yup, I experience ALL of what you did. Throw in some auditory hallucinations on my last detox/withdrawl.
It was 5 days of hell. I wanted to die. I wanted to curl in a ball under a rock and never come out. The anxiety was crippling at best.
That was over 4 months ago now and I never want to feel like that, b/c I'm sure they do get worse and I can't wrap my head around WORSE than that.

*hugs*

shauninspain

I absolutely can identify with your withdrawal symptoms. The nightmares and constant feeling of impending doom can become overpowering. Horrible imagery going beyond anything that I might have seen in a horror film. The inability to get comfortable whether in a bed, on a sofa or laying on the floor. That almost crushing feeling in every cell of ones body. It's hell on Earth. I hope you're feeling a little better now.

chickippo

yep. auditory hallucinations (someone knocking on my front door was the worst, since i live in a building with a secure entryway), semi-consciousness that was a welcome relief from the constant retching which by the end was 'coffee grounds' old blood and bile. my face so swollen i could hardly open my eyes. the collapse in the hallway after trying to go to the kitchen for water. the heartbeat so fast that i thought i was honestly going to die...i hadn't taken my meds for three days and took the whole lot to 'catch up' and knock me out for 10 hours or so.

that happened 144 days ago. i hope never to have to go through it again. i hope you never have to either.

be well.

Blaizze

I was a huge binge drinker, my first couple weeks after stopping were miserable. You are not alone.

I had halucinations, didn't sleep for more then an hour a day for at least a week. The nightmares/dreams were so realistic and vivid. I was terrified to try to sleep because I knew I couldn't.

Had anxiety issues, and even felt bipolar at times: I would go from ecstatically happy to depressed and crying in the space of a few hours, I thought I was losing my mind.

But eventually, as the days wore on, the symptoms lessened, and I will never go back to that again, it isn't worth it anymore.

least

If you never drink again you never have to go thru this again.

ghostdad

closetlobster - any relationship to rock lobster? I used to rely on alcohol to sleep every night. I didn't dream much because I was totally drunk when I went to bed. In early recovery my dreams were very vivid also had auditory hallucinations. Still have the occasional nightmare like last night I was screaming in my sleep. When you start to feel better don't get too complacent because you don't want to go back to where you were.