Friendships
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Friendships Thursday, September 11, 2014
You are reading from the book Today's Gift
Good friendships are fragile things and require as much care as any other fragile and precious things.
—Randolph Bourne
A good friendship is like a flower garden. It needs attention and care. We start by preparing the soil and then planting our tiny seeds. Our friendships have foundations like the soil, and in them we plant seeds of trust and understanding.
Like a garden, friendships need care and love in order to thrive. We nourish friendships with visits, thoughtful favors, and trust. When we are feeling down or in need of help, a friendship can offer us more than just beauty.
When we work at our friendships, they are not seasonal but bloom in any weather, and they surround us with comfort and the knowledge that we have, and deserve, love.
How can I nurture a friendship today?
From Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families ©1985, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
You are reading from the book Today's Gift
Good friendships are fragile things and require as much care as any other fragile and precious things.
—Randolph Bourne
A good friendship is like a flower garden. It needs attention and care. We start by preparing the soil and then planting our tiny seeds. Our friendships have foundations like the soil, and in them we plant seeds of trust and understanding.
Like a garden, friendships need care and love in order to thrive. We nourish friendships with visits, thoughtful favors, and trust. When we are feeling down or in need of help, a friendship can offer us more than just beauty.
When we work at our friendships, they are not seasonal but bloom in any weather, and they surround us with comfort and the knowledge that we have, and deserve, love.
How can I nurture a friendship today?
From Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families ©1985, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I posted this reading today because I remember, in my darkest days of codependency, isolating myself from my family and friends at the time when I needed them most.
I was ashamed of my life, of my son's addiction, and of the life of fear and dysfunction that I was leading. I felt so alone, so afraid...and so friend-less.
I wish now I had stayed connected. I am so blessed that when I was ready they were all there for me and it turned out that they pretty much knew what was happening in my life and mistook my isolation for a need for privacy. How wrong we all were to not reach out to each other.
Please do not neglect your friends and family. If you are not near them, then maybe find a meeting and make some new friends who truly understand what you are going through and who will not judge you or think less of you for all that has happened.
We all need a friend, we each need someone in our lives to stand on the sidelines and cheer us on.
Be a friend today, reach out to someone you have neglected and renew the spark of friendship.
Hugs
I was ashamed of my life, of my son's addiction, and of the life of fear and dysfunction that I was leading. I felt so alone, so afraid...and so friend-less.
I wish now I had stayed connected. I am so blessed that when I was ready they were all there for me and it turned out that they pretty much knew what was happening in my life and mistook my isolation for a need for privacy. How wrong we all were to not reach out to each other.
Please do not neglect your friends and family. If you are not near them, then maybe find a meeting and make some new friends who truly understand what you are going through and who will not judge you or think less of you for all that has happened.
We all need a friend, we each need someone in our lives to stand on the sidelines and cheer us on.
Be a friend today, reach out to someone you have neglected and renew the spark of friendship.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: long island ny
Posts: 64
thank you ann for that post. i have done exactly that for the past six years. i have isolated myself from my friends because they just didn't understand . I felt lonley and even when i forced myself to do things my spirit just wasn't there. I still do feel that way most of the time but now recognize when i get into that very dark place before it completely consumes me. it is a long road and so bumpy.
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I understand what you are saying about doing things without any inspiration or spirit. That's how it was with me. A type of depression, I think, just going through the motions to work and home and nothing more.
This is where recovery becomes real "work". I had to make myself go for a walk each day, if just to the corner store where I was forced to interact with people for a few moments. I'd add a little each day, maybe to the park and talk to some people there and I joined a hobby photography group...that picked me up most of all.
It took a while before I felt safe and motivated to reconnect with friends I had shut out. First some brief phone calls, then short visits or meeting them for a coffee. I left myself a quick exit if I was so uncomfortable I had to leave.
Today I appreciate how very loyal my friends were, to stand by me and to love me unconditionally, no matter how messed up my life had become. I was surprised to learn that a couple of them were going through the same thing with children who used drugs. They too were sad and their families had been shaken by this, but for some reason they all handled it much better than I did and seemed okay.
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
This is where recovery becomes real "work". I had to make myself go for a walk each day, if just to the corner store where I was forced to interact with people for a few moments. I'd add a little each day, maybe to the park and talk to some people there and I joined a hobby photography group...that picked me up most of all.
It took a while before I felt safe and motivated to reconnect with friends I had shut out. First some brief phone calls, then short visits or meeting them for a coffee. I left myself a quick exit if I was so uncomfortable I had to leave.
Today I appreciate how very loyal my friends were, to stand by me and to love me unconditionally, no matter how messed up my life had become. I was surprised to learn that a couple of them were going through the same thing with children who used drugs. They too were sad and their families had been shaken by this, but for some reason they all handled it much better than I did and seemed okay.
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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