Talked to the lawyer today
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 113
Talked to the lawyer today
So I talked to the lawyer. She thinks we have an open and shut case for annulment due to the fact he was always too drunk to have sex so the marriage was not consummated. After the detox he wouldn't even look at me much less touch me. Just wanted his dinner. So hopefully all this goes swiftly and as painlessly as possible.
It's pretty painful right now. So final. So sad. I feel broken in 1000 pieces. He doesn't even care. That's the worst part. I love him so much I gave him everything. He now has nothing. Soon to be homeless. What did he have to gain from doing this to me? Why would someone abuse the person that did everything for them? I've never felt so ugly and used the put downs the comparisons to other women and then tells me they are better than me. This was our 1st week home from our Vegas wedding. He didn't even give me 1 day as a happily married woman. The abuse started immediately. I just don't understand how any human could be so cruel to someone who clearly adored them and we were married. I ask him everyday why he married me. Everyday. There is just no logic in any of this.
It's pretty painful right now. So final. So sad. I feel broken in 1000 pieces. He doesn't even care. That's the worst part. I love him so much I gave him everything. He now has nothing. Soon to be homeless. What did he have to gain from doing this to me? Why would someone abuse the person that did everything for them? I've never felt so ugly and used the put downs the comparisons to other women and then tells me they are better than me. This was our 1st week home from our Vegas wedding. He didn't even give me 1 day as a happily married woman. The abuse started immediately. I just don't understand how any human could be so cruel to someone who clearly adored them and we were married. I ask him everyday why he married me. Everyday. There is just no logic in any of this.
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
wow.
Ok. First, congrats on Getting Away.
Coyote Trap time on that one. (yunno, chew your own arm or leg off to get away).
And Second. YOU have to win the "My A Stuff REALLY Sucks" Award. That is sort of a weekly award we give out at my Men's Alanon Group. Goes to whomever has the worst A story of the week. Unfortunately I have been winning it lately, too. But THIS Week -- You would win.
The good note, somewhere down the road, he and this will all be loooonnnngggg behind you.
What Happened in Vegas -- Leave it in Vegas.
Welcome to the Rest of Your Life.
Make it Good One. Again -- Good Job on Getting Away!
Ok. First, congrats on Getting Away.
Coyote Trap time on that one. (yunno, chew your own arm or leg off to get away).
And Second. YOU have to win the "My A Stuff REALLY Sucks" Award. That is sort of a weekly award we give out at my Men's Alanon Group. Goes to whomever has the worst A story of the week. Unfortunately I have been winning it lately, too. But THIS Week -- You would win.
The good note, somewhere down the road, he and this will all be loooonnnngggg behind you.
What Happened in Vegas -- Leave it in Vegas.
Welcome to the Rest of Your Life.
Make it Good One. Again -- Good Job on Getting Away!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,452
Oh Mischa, this is so devastating. I am so very very sorry.
The hardest thing to understand is that this has nothing to do with you. He has a disease, a terrible progressive disease, that has stolen his soul. He probably also has a serious character disorder or is sociopathic.
He is acting out who HE is. He is not responding to you. You are just the collateral damage next to a terribly destructive vicious man .
You are worthy; you are loveable. It is just him who cannot love or be loved. His deficiencies are not because of you; they are because of him. Anyone who has his level of incapacity couldn't truly love anyone.
You have us here on SoberRecovery as your support, and I hope that you have family, friends, and many others in your life to comfort you. If you don't have a good counselor, now is the time to find someone, especially someone with training in working with people who have been abused and traumitized.
Sending many hugs your way,
ShootingStar1
The hardest thing to understand is that this has nothing to do with you. He has a disease, a terrible progressive disease, that has stolen his soul. He probably also has a serious character disorder or is sociopathic.
He is acting out who HE is. He is not responding to you. You are just the collateral damage next to a terribly destructive vicious man .
You are worthy; you are loveable. It is just him who cannot love or be loved. His deficiencies are not because of you; they are because of him. Anyone who has his level of incapacity couldn't truly love anyone.
You have us here on SoberRecovery as your support, and I hope that you have family, friends, and many others in your life to comfort you. If you don't have a good counselor, now is the time to find someone, especially someone with training in working with people who have been abused and traumitized.
Sending many hugs your way,
ShootingStar1
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Mischa, it defies logic, what's happened. I doubt you'll ever find out why because your guy is obviously defective in some way.
One day you'll count yourself lucky, but I can understand why you're devastated right now. Demanding his dinner???? WTF? Does he think you're the hired help? I'm furious about it and I live on the other side of the Pacific, and then some.
One day you'll count yourself lucky, but I can understand why you're devastated right now. Demanding his dinner???? WTF? Does he think you're the hired help? I'm furious about it and I live on the other side of the Pacific, and then some.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 113
Well the pain was short lived as he called from a blocked number again last night. I didn't answer. He left a message "are you proud and powerful? Good for you."
I actually am proud that I am getting away so quickly and I do feel a certain of of power within myself for doing it even though I am all alone here. I think his plan is to target women who are totally alone. I guess he though that made me weak. I am far from weak I have had a horrible life filled with abuse as long as I can remember but I have had therapy for all that. I guess that's how I knew to run even though I just got married. Thank you therapist David. You may have just saved my life. Who knows what he was planning since he now had a wife. A wife has even more expectations than a girlfriend. Thank god I'm smart and independent strong and capable. And thank god for you wonderful people for giving me support. I can't afford therapy right now.
I actually am proud that I am getting away so quickly and I do feel a certain of of power within myself for doing it even though I am all alone here. I think his plan is to target women who are totally alone. I guess he though that made me weak. I am far from weak I have had a horrible life filled with abuse as long as I can remember but I have had therapy for all that. I guess that's how I knew to run even though I just got married. Thank you therapist David. You may have just saved my life. Who knows what he was planning since he now had a wife. A wife has even more expectations than a girlfriend. Thank god I'm smart and independent strong and capable. And thank god for you wonderful people for giving me support. I can't afford therapy right now.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
You gave him your heart and he stomped on it. Brush it off, put it back, kick him in the crotch and keep moving.
Oops. Did I actually say that out loud?
I'm sorry he hurt you. But I'm glad you can easily get out of the marriage and not be stuck with him. Please, please, please take care of yourself. Love yourself.
Oops. Did I actually say that out loud?
I'm sorry he hurt you. But I'm glad you can easily get out of the marriage and not be stuck with him. Please, please, please take care of yourself. Love yourself.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,393
Originally Posted by mischa1 
"are you proud and powerful? Good for you."
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
