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My cousin is having her 21st birthday party on Friday and I had planned on going and had been looking forward to it for weeks. But the friends that are going are friends that I messed up with Saturday when I drank and they are now mad at me and have encouraged me to get help. I still really want to go to the party. Maybe I could go and just not drink or I could go and only drink beer so I don't get drunk and do anything bad. I don't know. I just really don't want to miss it. But the thought of even going makes me really anxious and nervous.

sprout50

To start with, beer is alcohol. You can get just as drunk on beer as with wine or hard liquor. If you are serious about sobriety, you have to stop drinking all alcohol. Trying to moderate is a slippery slope and inevitably, leads back to the same path.

If it were me, I would skip the party. If your friends have encouraged you to get help, they will understand your absence.

ScottFromWI

I think staying home might be a wise choice. It's very clear from your statement above. Alcohol is alcohol, no matter what kind of drink it comes in.

Soberwolf

Forget the party listen to your friends


What's the probability of you having a drink

Trust me I relate the best advice I give for someone in 2 minds like this is not to go

Organise a girls nights with all the friends you want to see at that party and have a sober slumber party pillow fights films Ben and Jerry's ice cream

Think about this logically

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first off, I'm a guy. Second, I'm just gonna message my cousin and explain why I am not going and I'm gonna go to the mall and hang out all day and then that night I'm gonna go to a meeting.

Anna

I think that deciding to not go to the party is the best choice.

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yeah. I do too, it just sucks that I planned for over a month on going and now I cant. But ultimately its for the best. If I went I would have to lie to my parents, Drive to work the next morning hungover, and I would probably do something that I would regret. And I'm tired of living my life with regrets.

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I think I'm gonna go to a meeting on thursday, friday, saturday, and sunday, because my parents keep a bottle of whiskey and a bottle of crown royal in the kitchen cabinet, and I cant throw it away because they would notice it missing, and they also have a bottle of wine in the fridge, so if I stay home I'm gonna have temptation all around me and no one to stop me. My solution to this since I cannot throw away or get rid of the alcohol is to not be at home very much and to go to meetings all weekend and post on here a lot.

ontherightpath

I wouldn't go either. My logic? Aside from setting myself up for failure, pave the way for someone else to "steal the show" or- in my world. When I get serious about recovery, it seems like someone else in my circle starts to question their own drinking habits. If I can share the tiniest bit of what mental torture I face when I drink. I might help them and not even know it. Either way, we spend enough time beating ourselves up. If you don't go, u can't wake up with regrets about what u did while drinking.

Jupiters

yeah, it sucks that in sobriety we need to make some changes. Particularly in EARLY sobriety, we must be very diligent and PROactive and sometimes that means missing events we had planned. But in order to reap the rewards, we have to sacrifice at times, that's just the way it is.
Just remember, by NOT going though, you know for sure you won't go and drink beer and end up in an even deeper hole than you are right now.
You will be sober and moving forward in your sober life. Remember that

Soberwolf

I'm so sorry for thinking you were a girl

Feel like a Wally lol

Nuudawn

Sweetie we can throw all the advice and support in the world at you...but I think you have to take your friends encouragement and make it your own. There is something in your post that seems to say...my friends say I need help so I better get me some.

What do you say? Support and encouragement works if you AGREE you need it. Do you? Please spend some time actually thinking about YOUR drinking problem rather than just hustling off because OTHER people say you should. Please be part of this. You need to be. You sooooooooooo need to be.

sprout50

Sounds like you have a good plan. I know you don't want to tell your parents but maybe eventually you can. They might suprise you and get the alcohol out of the house.

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Nuudawn, I know that I have a problem but this is all very new to me and so my AV still plagues me and is a strong influence. Thats why the advice and support really helps me. It helps me to calm down that voice and really focus on what is best for me. Spout50, they might would and eventually I am going to tell them. I just want to wait until I know that I wont relapse.

Fly N Buy

Glad you are here!
The combo of meetings and SR has got me to 92 days.

Thought I toss you this SR link for committing to 24 hours of sobriety daily. Yesterday is in the books, tomorrow may never get here for any of us. TODAY is all we have.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...part-14-a.html

Keep posting!!

melki

Good call on not going to the party. Stay strong! Read a lot and post a lot.

It may be possible to get sober in a house with liquor, but it's infinitely harder. I don't think I could do it. I understand holding off on telling people, I wanted to be sure too. Just be honest with yourself that it isn't giving you a way out of the sobriety decision. I'd recommend telling your parents so they can remove the liquor sooner than later.

Hobbers

I have a hunch if you just told your folks "I have a problem", THEY'D happily and willingly throw out $30 of booze on their own.

Get that booze out of your house/living situation, and for God's sake, don't go to the party. That you are contemplating drinking beer as an 'alternative to getting drunk' (???) screams that you are not ready to go to a party.

Also, your friends seem VERY clued into to where you are at. They probably would be happy, for YOU, that you skipped this party.

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Hobbers, I have decided to not go to the party. It's just not an option. If I went I would be asking for trouble. As far as my parents are concerned, I'm just gonna try this for now and maybe in a few weeks I'll tell them. It's just a bad time to tell them right now.

courage2

Beautiful! That's the way to do it! What are you doing today?

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Today I have my college classes, then as soon as I leave them I have to rush to my piano lesson, and then I'm going home and will just be at home. I'll probably just post a lot on here tonight.