Stung

Someone said that to me AGAIN today and while I smiled and said thanks, all I could think was that God must have me confused with someone else and he needs to back off a bit.

Then during nap time I Googled "What if God gives you more than you can handle?" and came across a couple of really great articles that basically say that God purposefully gives you MORE than you can handle so you'll seek him out. That stupid phrase about God not giving you more than you can handle is not in the bible, it's just a saying that people say. I particularly was moved by reading this: I've never been a really religious person but I feel like I might actually start routinely praying and trying to find God in my life rather than just praying when people are asking for prayers. I feel like I have several things too many on my shoulders and I don't feel like it's a matter of not picking up things that don't belong to me. I feel like my own personal weight is a lot to carry and both of my kids are higher maintenance (not to any fault of their own) than the average kid. I'm at the bare bones basics here and God/life keeps dishing it out to me. Maybe it's time that I try to seek out some spirituality so I can better cope with my load in life.

The irony in all of this…my sponsor is a pastor (and super liberal, so I totally respect her thoughts on religion because she's a normal person) and I didn't know that when she asked if I'd like her to sponsor me. It's almost like God is tapping me on the shoulder.

daisy6234

I really think when people say that, it is to make them feel better. Sometimes I feel like they think "whew I don't have those problems.". God will always give us a way out, when overwhelmed. Prayer doesn't make everything go away, it gives us support and we don't have to keep carrying the burdens. And someone to lean on. But it takes practice to allow God to carry them. Your post really hit home today.

ready4new

Hello:
I do agree with what you read,in that God gives us things so that we will seek Him out. I think He realizes that when things are going great in our lives,we just feel like we don't really need Him. It usually takes suffering for us to realize that we need Him to make it through this life. Life isn't easy.....it is beautiful yet at the same time there is much pain. I think it is important for us to see that we need a focus higher than ourselves. I think you will be very happy that you sought out the spiritual path. Many times I have felt just like you,when people have told me that God never gives you more than you can handle. I think He knows what each of us must experience in order for us to learn to rely on Him in all matters. I hate to admit it,but when my life was going wonderfully with no bumps in the road, I really didn't seek out God.But once we experience extreme lows,we definitely learn to appreciate the good times WAY more. I think an attitude of gratitude is one of the best things we can ever learn in life.
God bless You.

Mountainmanbob

John 16:33

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”


BibleGateway.com

HopefulinFLA

Like you, I'm not particularly religious either, in fact I've always considered myself to be agnostic. I did recently "adopt" a Higher Power and i must say this is so helpful to me. The act of organizing my thoughts and verbalizing them to HP is a lot like releasing pressure. It makes my emotions more concrete for me (as opposed to a swirling mass of OMG and WTF in my head) so that I can deal with them in a more efficient way. My conversations with HP frequently revolve around me handing over AH and his issues as they are well beyond my pay grade!

The irony in all of this…my sponsor is a pastor (and super liberal, so I totally respect her thoughts on religion because she's a normal person) and I didn't know that when she asked if I'd like her to sponsor me. It's almost like God is tapping me on the shoulder.

If this isn't a sign of some sort! Wow! Sounds like you hit the jackpot.

huntingtontx

1 Corinthians 10:13 (KJ21) | In Context | Whole Chapter


13 There hath no temptation taken hold of you but such as is common to man. But God is faithful; He will not suffer you to be tempted beyond that which ye are able to bear, but with the temptation will also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.


The truth is you are handling it. God is there for you. He never said we would not be tested. I have felt that God thinks I am stronger then I am, but I am still here, so I guess God knows what He is doing. Just my thoughts.

readerbaby71

My higher power is the universe and humanity. As naive as it may sound I do believe in the power of love, compassion and kindness. Meditation and putting Tibetan Buddhist principles into action have helped me immensely in my recovery.

P.S. I can't stand that saying either.

CodeJob

Hello Stung, how reassuring that your sponsor turns out to be a pastor. I periodically go to church with my H. I try to pray to 'his' version of God there, but often there is a message for me too. Yesterday it was a reassurance that I was right to kick him out last spring. That doing nothing was no longer the right approach. The pastor did not address addiction in his homily, so I was left wondering when is that cut off when you've done enough? But stopping the codependent over-doing does not have to stop prayer.

Hope your days are going peacefully and H remains tucked in at rehab!

hopeful4

Good Morning Stung.

Thank you for posting this. It really does make sense to me. I sometimes feel that when I have a million things going and am too "busy" for God, that is when things seem to happen the most. I end up getting my priorities in place, and a lot of times it has taken some heavy burdens to bring me the closest to God.

I think it's amazing when things seem to click into place, like your sponsor being a Pastor. That is really such an amazing thing.

I hope you have a wonderful and blessed day!

Hammer

A+ You are doing GREAT!

You are really nailing this Step Stuff.

Sounds like Steps 1, 2, and 3 in one sentence, there.

PinkCloudsCharley

Thanks, i needed this today. It's something that I've always wondered about, esp lately when things seem like much more than I can handle and I'm struggling to see the light. I think my HP just worked thru you to get me this message!

Stung

I don't think that's naive at all!! I'm not sure what God really means to me and I'm not ready to adopt the rules of any one religion. I think referring to a higher power as God is just kinda religious in and of itself. It was suggested to me to try to find God in my life, through coincidences or dreams since both happen frequently in my life and God has been know to appear in people's lives in those ways.

Actually, no, I'm not and I'm really struggling with my own dysfunctional ways of dealing with things right now. There is no need to bend phrases or words. I don't think I'm being tested either, this is just life. This is the way things are and unlike a test I don't fool myself into believing that I just need to continue or trudge for just a little longer and things will get better. You don't know that and neither do I, I don't pretend to know the future or what the future holds for me or my children. That's what that stupid phrase is. Like buck up, you only have this **** in your life because you CAN handle it. Nope. **** just happens. God doesn't give children cancer because they can handle it, but it sure as hell still happens.

See this article. It explains it much better than I can. http://www.aumethodists.org/worship/...-you-can-bear/

Thank you! And would you believe that I was recently told that a slow recovery is actually BETTER?! Crazy right? But it's easier to not get frustrated with myself when I still do stupid stuff now after hearing that. And I'm totally still on step zero: serenity prayer. LOL!

LvWrAM123

I have a sign in my office that says, "If God only gives us what we can handle, then God must really think I'm a bad a$$!

I was diagnosed with a chronic illness when I was 10. I questioned God a lot. I think I would have hated him if I had to believe he somehow GAVE me that crappy disease on purpose just because he knew I could handle it or because it was some kind of a test. I concluded that "life happens", but I did find some solace in that Footprints in the Sand poem someone sent me when I was in the hospital as a kid-where they guy is mad because God said he would always be with him, but then as he looked at the hardest times of his life there was only 1 set of prints, and he asked God why he abandoned him during the hardest times and he said, "That was when I carried you." It was comforting.

During my toughest times with then AH and my accidents 9 months ago, I had no choice but to open myself up, be vulnerable, and ask for and accept help. It was humbling. I really did start to come around to thinking after the first accident, that it was some kind of a sign from God/my HP that being open to help-whether from my HP or others was what I needed, and the accident was certainly a vehicle to reinforce that lesson.

NYCDoglvr

I hate facile sayings like that. I don't think God is giving me anything in terms of experiences. It's just life and so many problems are my own doing. For example, I picked an alcoholic and stayed. Where prayer works is getting the strength to get through the tough times.

Florence

I agree with this. I'm a pretty set-in-my-ways atheist, but I never pass up the opportunity to feel awe with the world. The world is ****** up and mean and unfair and often unjust and unequal to boot, but it's also beautiful and mysterious and weird and wild and wonderful too.

I don't pray at all. Sometimes I meditate or try to find "safe places" in my mind when I'm really off kilter. Usually, though, I have the still small voice inside of me that says I'm okay and I can handle this, whatever it is. I've been through some wild stuff, some of it in my control and some out of my control. But I'm smart and crafty and a little wily too. I handled it, for better or worse, and I'm still alive. I guess in that way, it was not officially "more than I could handle."

I know that for me, training that still small voice to stop echoing my early childhood bull**** -- that I was never enough, always got it wrong, nobody loved me, I would always be alone -- was the #1 key in changing my life outlook. When my XAH and I first started splitting up, this thought ran through my head more or less constantly. Nobody loves me, nobody ever loved me. The people in my life who should have loved me didn't. I was so broken-hearted. And of course, being an atheist, there was no God's love to comfort me. I felt really alone and cold. Acceptance of this fact -- that my XAH's treatment of me, that my mom's treatment of me, that the discrimination and judgement I was privy to as a young single parent, wasn't really about ME -- helped me a lot.

I think you're pretty wily too, Stung.

I'm rambling a little.

Whatever the case with my XAH, I guess I'm happy ("happy?") I went through all this, as terrible and distressing as it was at the time. Because I went through this trial by fire and I'm wiser and more stable now than I ever was before. Keep doing the work. If you're worried because all you have is a hammer and a bunch of screws, well, we'll find you a screwdriver. If your mama and them are mad you're abandoning the hammer, it's too bad, because you have a bunch of screws to take care of now and it's none of their business anyway. Bad metaphors aside, you're making wild progress, and you're in a huge transitional period. Let yourself off the hook a little. It takes awhile to get used to the new tools.

lillamy

That's sort of my codie recovery thing. That God is giving me more than I can handle so that I don't try to do everything but actually throw my hands up in the air and go "well, might as well ignore that because I have no control over that anyway." So I graciously leave some stuff for God to handle.

No, but seriously -- it's humbling when you do what you can do, to see God make up the difference (with some bonus) and make miracles happen.

BlueChair

I dont think God ever gives us more than we can handle, but there was never a promise of a life without trials and challenges. Its what we do when faced with these things that represents our true character & our faith.

I like the Footprints in the sand poem, and these verses:

Mark 9:23 - Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things [are] possible to him that believeth.

Mark 10:27 - .......for with God all things are possible.

Fly N Buy

My grace is sufficient for thee.....

doureallycare2

That is a really hard statement to just throw at someone and I can definitely understand your confusion and needing to look into it deeper.

As a Christian, that saying has very deep theological meaning. As huntingtontx posted there are scriptures that support that saying 100% and that's where it comes from, however if the person on the receiving (or giving) end of that comment doesn't understand the context and doesn't believe or have an understanding about Gods love to and for us, how do you just accept it as is?

have you ever heard the poam "Footprints"? I know it seems corny now because of how overused it became but really that is the concept.

No one is exempt from hardships. It doesn't matter what your faith, what you believe in or don't believe in.. We are all equals as far as pain and death. no one can escape it.

It does seem as though some receive more pain and suffering then others. I cant even imagine the pain of losing a child or living in a country where unimaginable atrocities such as genocide are allowed to flourish. However a persons pain is their pain. Who knows what drives a person pass their endurance?

The reassurance for me and other Christians through Gods word and his promises is that "If we belong to Him, God will get us through any difficulty that comes into our lives, that with his strength (not ours) we can not only bare it but conquer. The conquering does not necessarily mean beating it such as someone dying of cancer.. But that in going through it we have not lost our faith, our trust, our hope that is in HIM.

What I would encourage you in is that as you said "QUOTE: I might actually start routinely praying and trying to find God in my life rather than just praying when people are asking for prayers. I feel like I have several things too many on my shoulders and I don't feel like it's a matter of not picking up things that don't belong to me. I feel like my own personal weight is a lot to carry and both of my kids are higher maintenance (not to any fault of their own) than the average kid. I'm at the bare bones basics here and God/life keeps dishing it out to me. Maybe it's time that I try to seek out some spirituality so I can better cope with my load in life. ; End Quote



keep searching for what will lift and heal your soul. Ask God to show you himself in the midst of what your going through. Ask for God to send you someone that can help encourage you...

I absolutely don't know what I would do without my relationship with Him and with the people he has given me. I would absolutely have no hope...

Romans 8:28-39 is one of my favorite passages.

28. And we know that God causes everything to work together
for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. 29For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn
among many brothers and sisters. 30And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory.
Nothing Can Separate Us from God’s Love

31What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? 32Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? 33Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. 34Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.

35Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? 36(As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”


) 37No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.
38And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,


neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Stung

Dontreallycare, I hope you took a walk around the block before you posted that

I happen to agree with Daisy. That stupid phrase is about the commenter, not the person suffering. A hug without words would be more sincere and supportive.

Thank you for your opinion but my thoughts on my thread are about me and my God, as I understand God. Thank you.