I think we need a security system...or am I crazy?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Nowhere, VA
Posts: 540
I think we need a security system...or am I crazy?
So where dd and I are living with my mom and her boyfriend is in the middle of nowhere. About an hour away from xabf's middle of nowhere.
Yesterday was xabf's birthday. I agreed to meet him at one of those indoor trampoline places so he could visit with dd. It was awkward, of course. I noticed he was driving his "big truck" that had literally sat in the driveway for 3 years. Its expensive to maintain it costs about 150 to fill it up. Anyway, yea that irritated me a little, but its not my business.
So we only saw him for about 45 minutes. Near the end DD got really upset and we couldn't understand what she wanted. (it was almost 7pm...I had told him that would be too late for a 3 year old but what do I know?). She was crying uncontrollably and clung to me like she does everytime we see him.
When we got home we set my bed up in my room...finally. She actually requested for her door to be shut and the lights off when she went to bed. She used to always want to door open and a night light on at xabfs. I slept fine in my new bed and my mom said she had dreams about someone breaking in.
Well, this morning her boyfriend goes to leave and comes back in. Someone had ransacked his car, papers were thrown everywhere and things put in different places. yesterday we found a cigarette butt wedged in mom's car in the hood. We usualy all lock our vehicles but None of us did yesterday. None of our cars have anything particularily interesting in them but its unnerving. It makes me feel like xabf is behind it. I'm thinking of findind a cheap motion detection camera to put outside or one of those game cams that hunters use for deer.
I just had to put this down somewhere. I have a ton of homework to do for my classes today but I can't focus.
Thanks for listening
Yesterday was xabf's birthday. I agreed to meet him at one of those indoor trampoline places so he could visit with dd. It was awkward, of course. I noticed he was driving his "big truck" that had literally sat in the driveway for 3 years. Its expensive to maintain it costs about 150 to fill it up. Anyway, yea that irritated me a little, but its not my business.
So we only saw him for about 45 minutes. Near the end DD got really upset and we couldn't understand what she wanted. (it was almost 7pm...I had told him that would be too late for a 3 year old but what do I know?). She was crying uncontrollably and clung to me like she does everytime we see him.
When we got home we set my bed up in my room...finally. She actually requested for her door to be shut and the lights off when she went to bed. She used to always want to door open and a night light on at xabfs. I slept fine in my new bed and my mom said she had dreams about someone breaking in.
Well, this morning her boyfriend goes to leave and comes back in. Someone had ransacked his car, papers were thrown everywhere and things put in different places. yesterday we found a cigarette butt wedged in mom's car in the hood. We usualy all lock our vehicles but None of us did yesterday. None of our cars have anything particularily interesting in them but its unnerving. It makes me feel like xabf is behind it. I'm thinking of findind a cheap motion detection camera to put outside or one of those game cams that hunters use for deer.
I just had to put this down somewhere. I have a ton of homework to do for my classes today but I can't focus.
Thanks for listening
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 494
She was crying uncontrollably and clung to me like she does everytime we see him.
When we got home we set my bed up in my room...finally. She actually requested for her door to be shut and the lights off when she went to bed. She used to always want to door open and a night light on at xabfs.
When we got home we set my bed up in my room...finally. She actually requested for her door to be shut and the lights off when she went to bed. She used to always want to door open and a night light on at xabfs.
And I would trust your gut on the strange events.
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
A little extra security is definitely called for here and one of those game cams would be cheap and effective.
If it is the ex, do not F around, get law enforcement and attorneys involved, get a restraining order, etc.
If it is the ex, do not F around, get law enforcement and attorneys involved, get a restraining order, etc.
Bunnies!
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,905
You could always buy one of those door alarms from the dollar store that screeches to high heaven whenever the contact pad separates. They stick on and are easy to remove. Pretty good chance whoever opens that car door won't try it again any time soon.
We use those alarms for our house so we know if any of the kids manages to successfully unlock and open any doors or windows
We use those alarms for our house so we know if any of the kids manages to successfully unlock and open any doors or windows
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: MD
Posts: 658
A full-on system is a bit of work to set up, but in addition to those per-door/per-window alarms you could pretty easily put up some of the motion-sensing exterior lights, has the added benefit of helping when you get in/out of the cars in the evening. Getting the sensitivity right can be annoying, sometimes a bit of tape over the part of the sensor will make them less touchy.
There is always just plain old opportunistic theivery... happens around here periodically, people will walk down the street in the middle of the night trying car doors for one thats unlocked.
There is always just plain old opportunistic theivery... happens around here periodically, people will walk down the street in the middle of the night trying car doors for one thats unlocked.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Nowhere, VA
Posts: 540
Where we live there is literally a bean field across the street and next to the driveway....theres not much thievery going on here that is random.
I don't know for sure it had anything to do with him. The motion detector lights and alarms are useful, but I also don't want them to scare DD. I am going to look at cameras tomorrow, If I can get hard evidence of him doing something like that it would be really helpful in court.
He called DD this afternoon and Im pretty sure he was drunk. I don't think he would say anything to her to purposely upset her. I know she misses him and the dog and the cat. She asked to go see the dog today. She asks more to see the dog than daddy. She seems fine with just talking to him on the phone.
She starts preschool tomorrow. I'm a little worried the lady I saw at orientation that he knows will tell him she saw me there. There isn't much I can do though. I did put a note in the paperwork that he is an alcoholic and its a safety issue if he were to come pick her up. Luckily I work about 2 miles from its location so I can get there quickly if need be.
I know I shouldn't be scared of the unknown. I know I should let go and let god. I need to work on that. Right now I'm having a really tough time with it. Mainly because I'm "afraid of the unknown".
I don't know for sure it had anything to do with him. The motion detector lights and alarms are useful, but I also don't want them to scare DD. I am going to look at cameras tomorrow, If I can get hard evidence of him doing something like that it would be really helpful in court.
He called DD this afternoon and Im pretty sure he was drunk. I don't think he would say anything to her to purposely upset her. I know she misses him and the dog and the cat. She asked to go see the dog today. She asks more to see the dog than daddy. She seems fine with just talking to him on the phone.
She starts preschool tomorrow. I'm a little worried the lady I saw at orientation that he knows will tell him she saw me there. There isn't much I can do though. I did put a note in the paperwork that he is an alcoholic and its a safety issue if he were to come pick her up. Luckily I work about 2 miles from its location so I can get there quickly if need be.
I know I shouldn't be scared of the unknown. I know I should let go and let god. I need to work on that. Right now I'm having a really tough time with it. Mainly because I'm "afraid of the unknown".
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
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Blossom, it could be him or just an opportunistic thief, but it would pay to have that security camera set up either way. I don't suppose anyone kept the cigarette butt? It could be important if the raids escalate. One red flag is that they have happened over a period of time rather than a one-off.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
You should expressly spell it out just who and who is NOT allowed to pick up your daughter at pre-school. it's more than a safety issue, it could easily become a custody issue.
just what would you do if he picks her up at pre-school and refuses to give her back?
be smart and safe. Lock the cars at all times, use motion detector lights, alarms and maybe angle the outside lights if possible to illuminate where the cars are parked. the worst that will happen is the critters set them off. mine turns off after 10 mins. and has a very wide radius.
just what would you do if he picks her up at pre-school and refuses to give her back?
be smart and safe. Lock the cars at all times, use motion detector lights, alarms and maybe angle the outside lights if possible to illuminate where the cars are parked. the worst that will happen is the critters set them off. mine turns off after 10 mins. and has a very wide radius.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Nowhere, VA
Posts: 540
Fandy - at her preschool they will only not allow the father to pick her up if there is a court order. I did however put a note in with her information that even though custody is not worked out yet, it is a safety concern because he is an alcoholic. I also put to call me if he were to show up. Luckily I work 5 minutes away.
If he got her he would definitely not give her back.
If he got her he would definitely not give her back.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,899
Don't worry about being crazy, react to the facts in front of you.
So, if I gather correctly, you live on property that belongs to your XA in the middle of nowhere, he's erratic, and your cars just got rifled through. Going forward, lock your cars, get whatever kind of security stuff that helps you sleep at night, then look into MOVING because as long as you're on his family's land they will feel entitled to mess with and spy on you. Look into doing whatever you need to do to get the custody question handled.
It's completely overwhelming, and it will take months to do some of this stuff. Put one foot in front of the other, keep breathing, mourn what you need to mourn. Remember One Day At a Time? Do that. Do the next right thing, whatever it is. Do your homework, make healthy decisions, and make getting away from this creeper your long goal. Distance, time and education -- and an airtight custody agreement -- will go a long way to help you achieve that goal.
<3 Stay strong, woman. You got this.
So, if I gather correctly, you live on property that belongs to your XA in the middle of nowhere, he's erratic, and your cars just got rifled through. Going forward, lock your cars, get whatever kind of security stuff that helps you sleep at night, then look into MOVING because as long as you're on his family's land they will feel entitled to mess with and spy on you. Look into doing whatever you need to do to get the custody question handled.
It's completely overwhelming, and it will take months to do some of this stuff. Put one foot in front of the other, keep breathing, mourn what you need to mourn. Remember One Day At a Time? Do that. Do the next right thing, whatever it is. Do your homework, make healthy decisions, and make getting away from this creeper your long goal. Distance, time and education -- and an airtight custody agreement -- will go a long way to help you achieve that goal.
<3 Stay strong, woman. You got this.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Nowhere, VA
Posts: 540
My mom is stuck in a lease with xabf's parents...the soonest she can get out is March and until custody and support can be worked out I can't afford to live on my own with DD or do I want to risk being that alone before there is a legal custody arrangement.
I'm going to look at cameras and such on my lunch break!
I'm going to look at cameras and such on my lunch break!
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Blossom, if you don't get a central alarm you can still buy signs as if you have one. I bough the signs and stickers for your windows on amazon making my house look like I have a security system.
Just sharing that info! In your case I would go for the actual alarm, but if you cannot this would help. I think it was under $30 including shipping.
Just sharing that info! In your case I would go for the actual alarm, but if you cannot this would help. I think it was under $30 including shipping.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
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I will look into that too! I really would like to catch him though....
On my lunch break I went to get a pen out of a bag in my car to sign a check....one of my prescriptions fell out (dr write my prescriptions 3 months ahead of time so I don't have to come back as often). I had 3 in there...2 for Adderall (1 for September, 1 for October) and 1 for Prozac. I keep them in a zipped compartment.
Im missing one of each.
hmm...
On my lunch break I went to get a pen out of a bag in my car to sign a check....one of my prescriptions fell out (dr write my prescriptions 3 months ahead of time so I don't have to come back as often). I had 3 in there...2 for Adderall (1 for September, 1 for October) and 1 for Prozac. I keep them in a zipped compartment.
Im missing one of each.
hmm...
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Bingo...call the pharmacy and tell them you did NOT refill the scrips, ask if someone did (i am assuming that these are tracked through the state system and that there must be a signature for them). this information should go to your attorney.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
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Posts: 540
They do track the Adderall prescriptions...they check your id. But I don't think hes getting them filled...Pretty sure he is going to try and use them as evidence in court saying that I shouldn't be taking them together (even though they are dated the same day and by the same doctor)
Basically he will just prove that he's an idiot.
I'm just irritated. I don't want to call my doctor and ask for another prescription because I don't want them to think that I am abusing my meds.
Basically he will just prove that he's an idiot.
I'm just irritated. I don't want to call my doctor and ask for another prescription because I don't want them to think that I am abusing my meds.
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Join Date: Aug 2009
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Originally Posted by Blossom717 
They do track the Adderall prescriptions...they check your id. But I don't think hes getting them filled...Pretty sure he is going to try and use them as evidence in court saying that I shouldn't be taking them together (even though they are dated the same day and by the same doctor)
Basically he will just prove that he's an idiot.
I'm just irritated. I don't want to call my doctor and ask for another prescription because I don't want them to think that I am abusing my meds.
Basically he will just prove that he's an idiot.
I'm just irritated. I don't want to call my doctor and ask for another prescription because I don't want them to think that I am abusing my meds.
Consider that what he wants to prove is something that is a much bigger deal. They ransacked your cars two hours away? Why? To get prescriptions that are written by a doctor (the same doctor no less) for meds that are quite common and not heavy duty? I don't think Private Health information is even allowed in court without a court order. Him and/or his family are fiddling around in your vehicles, rummaging in your purse, you are afraid of them, of him taking your daughter and not giving her back!
I would assume they were looking for those all along (knowing you get advanced scripts) and are looking for a way to make it look like you are selling them on the black market. *That* would be a big deal because you'll be in jail. Your daughter would automatically go to him even if you are in jail one night. It will be easy to make that happen with those scripts. The courts will not like the looks of it either. Report them missing - problem solved!!!
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