Oswin

At day 26 and although I'm still determined to stay sober. I was asked today how long I was giving up drink for and I couldn't bring myself to say for good. I've never made it over 30 days when tried giving up before. I had a craving in the super market yesterday but I wasn't thinking about sipping a nice glass of wine slowly, I was thinking about necking a glass of wine and continuing until wrecked. So the problems not going away. Just finding it hard to think I'm done drinking forever.

LBrain

hang in there Oswin. Forever IS a long time. But would you rather spend forever getting drunk again and again or spend forever living life with a clear head?

Sure it sounds like a lot to think about. Just make it through the day. One day at a time. They add up.

andyroo72

Hey there Oswin,

I can totally relate. For me, never having another drink is a scary concept. But it's also totally central to my sense of getting any better.

I've been dry for maybe 10 weeks now and those thoughts that maybe, sometime I'll be able to have a drink do enter my head from time to time. Personally, I think it's a warning sign that some issue or other is there and I need to address it. Maybe I'm scared, or worried or just getting something plain wrong. It's kinda useful in some respects, I guess :=]

Olive1

Hi Oswin,
When I first got sober I couldn't think about never and forever. That was far too scary. I had to do 'not today' for quite a long time. I will not drink today.

Eventually, the scariness dissipated.
Now, I just don't drink.
The concept of I can never drink again doesn't mean anything to me anymore.

One day at a time.
Cheesy, but it works.

MelindaFlowers

This is a really good point. Forever is going to come anyways and the time is going to pass whether you are healthy or hung over every day. In five years I can look back and think wow I'm glad I quit drinking five years ago. Just take it day by day.

~Lia~

I know. Sometimes I think maybe in 10 years I can drink. I think about how nice alcohol will taste and like you, I imagine guzzling until completely hammered. I miss feeling buzzed, I miss feeling sloshed. But then I don't miss the shame with the blackouts. The things I would say the things I would do, and I would be mortified for months

Hobbers

Hey bud,

26 days here too!

Yup, 'forever' is probably the harder thing about this whole thing. I really, REALLY struggle with that notion. I went sober 4 months before, and figured 'this was surprisingly easy'- so... I must be cured. went back to 'watching myself' and did mostly good for a good solid month. Then, it crept up, fast, until I had my worst 'drunk' ever 28 days ago.

Forever is HARD for me though, man. I totally relate.

Oswin

Thanks everyone. One day at a time and not having that first drink is definately the way to go. Trying not to think about forever, although I do like the sound of forever with a clear head.

Dee74

Hi Oswin

forever was inconceivable to me. It seemed fictional

But I stuck to my commitment, day by day, and pretty soon I realised I was already doing forever

D

soberlicious

I remember that uneasy feeling of "What?! Forever??" and people advised me to do 'one day at a time'. That thinking calmed down that inner part of me that wouldn't accept "never", but at the same time, I began to feel like it was also allowing that part of me to hang on to a pipe dream. Like how little kids perceive things...if it's not straight up "no", then it means "maybe". I don't want the addicted part of me to ever think there is a maybe.

While "never" initially made me uneasy, that wasn't real. The finality and closure that "I'm done for good" provided is the only thing that finally brought me peace and calm. I feel embracing the truth set me free.

Hobbers

Yeah. I'm nowhere near there yet. 'Forever' is still very real for me, and very scary.

ican2

im just starting out.. some great advice here. I was thinking of giving myself a date/time say 3 months then add on.. seems more acheivable.. dont know tho. But love the idea of one day at a time.. I made it today sounds great to me

Soberwolf

The day I got sober it was forever I've never had a problem with that it brings me a peace I cannot describe

MIRecovery

I am committed to do what I need to do to stay sober today and I plan on making that commitment forever

Oswin

It's the love/hate relationship with booze that is so hard. I am thinking of it more and more as a poison and remembering so many bad/painfully embarrassing situations alcohol has been a big player in. But at the same time I remember drunk me as being fun and having fun. Unfortunately fun drunk me went away after about 3 bottles of wine or 10 pints or a bottle of vodka and became ranting/blacked out or morally questionable me. I suppose I'm going through a kind of mourning process for the drunk me that I actually liked. If that makes sense.

GotGrace

Hi there! I'm a year in and "forever" is still overwhelming at times. One day at a time is really the best way for me succeed. Just want you to know, and I think it's obvious from the responses, that you are not alone in this feeling. And isn't it nice that today is all we have and all we have to commit to? You've got this.

Hobbers

Makes perfect sense to me, Oswin.

Soberwolf

Makes sense

Lionhearted1

No one can stop forever because we are not infinite beings... We can only stop for today now because that's all you ever have is this moment.

Like a saying I heard if we change are words we change our reality.

PurpleKnight

In the beginning I kept it simple, 1 day at a time, Sober until bedtime, and then I got another day to be Sober!!

After a while the days will build up and your Sober foundation will be created to look beyond what alcohol promises to add to life!!

Keep it going!!