Dojang

I am looking for strategies to help distract me when my mind starts racing and I'm obsessing about my A. Anyone have strategies that have helped them? I was thinking a list of positive affirmations about myself that I have to read out loud, or perhaps doing pushups.
Thanks!!!

schnappi99

When I get would up (usually at night) I've gone out on a run.. lol kind of funny getting up out of bed and putting on the running stuff at midnight but whatever. The pushups/situps stuff is my morning exercise routine... have to get back on the stick with that its been a few weeks but I've done better w/ running- I've not found that routine clears my head adequately.

CarryOn

I say the serenity prayer - sometimes numerous times in a row, and try to focus on "accept what I cannot change" and "the courage to change the things I can". I then consciously turn my focus back to myself and ask what is my responsibility in this? Or what can I do now to accomplish something and remove my mind from my A? Sometimes it has to be something incredibly menial, but it's a step in the right direction. I will also turn to my AlAnon literature - read today's readings or look up readings on the specific feeling or situation I am dealing with.

I also keep a list of things I can do for myself (exercise, entertainment, whatever) in my journal (used to be on my bathroom mirror) and I pick something off that list to occupy myself.

I like the idea of the positive affirmations. Another page to fill in my journal!

Dojang

Thank you both, great suggestions. I looked for some positive affirmations, but came up with a different idea. Since low self-esteem is such an issue for me, I'm going to keep a list with me at all times and write down every time I do something I am proud of. I will read this list when needed. That way it puts the focus back on me, and points out things I have done well.

FireSprite

Here are some of my favorite threads about this subject:


http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...self-care.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...trategies.html

You can also join us on the "100 Happy Days" thread any time - we're not all on the same day, and anyone can jump in any time!

There are a ton of great shares about self-care in the archives too - if you use the advanced search you can find a ton of older posts about the topic.

lillamy

Pushups sounds like a great idea -- although you might want to do some reverse flys as well, or you'll end up like Dolly Parton, having to wear a backpack to avoid falling over...

Seriously, workouts saved my life. I had a spin bike next to my bed for three years and I would sometimes get up and do an hour on it at 2 am (I'm sure my downstairs neighbor hated me...) and then I could shut my head up for a while.

I also like guided meditations -- there are lots of them on Youtube; my favorite channel is "The Honest Guys."

Dojang

I do martial arts, and am training for my 2nd degree black belt. It has been so good for me. I'm going to try several different strategies. I think combining them will help.

lillamy

I think martial arts might be the best thing ever to whip your thoughts into behaving. Seriously. I have a good friend who says martial arts training got him through his (quite unpleasant) divorce -- that the physical discipline and mental focus was better than therapy.

Florence

I heard a great quote today:

The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. The next best time to plant a tree is today.

PLANT SOME TREES.

As far as strategies go, I give myself a lot of projects and try to exercise to exhaustion every day. I've said it over and over again here, best thing I did when my XAH and I split was buy a good bike.

hopeful4

I found I could not stop obsessing until I finally cut the relationship loose. It made a huge difference in my mental state. While we were still together, I went to CR meetings, counseling, they gym, active in volunteer at my DD's school and church, and visited my family a lot. The more I was away and learned to detatch the stronger I became.

XXX